What does it mean when he avoids eye contact when we talk about. . .

[Roxy]

Okay, well, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. I found out from other people that he said he needs his space because it's his senior year in high school. (It's my junior year) We're still really close though and tell each other everything. Above all, we're best friends. He tells me he still loves me and cares for me romantically, but every time we get on the topic of us as a couple, he can't look me in the eye. He looks away. EVERY TIME. He says he misses me and loves me, but absolutely won't look me in the eye. Or me at all. He'll turn away and get really serious. He'll look sad and just depressive. Does it mean he's lying? I don't know what to think. I love him so much and I just wish he wasn't such a freaking closed book.

[Guest]

Is it only when he talks about your relationship? I ask because me personally, I find it hard to look anyone in the eye when I talk to them. I know it's considered bad manners but it makes me uncomfortable. It gets worse when I talk about something awkward to me.

[Nostalghia]

He was obviously with another woman (or has hidden feelings for another woman or is closeted). Don't ask too many questions and let him tell you why that is ...

[Bluebeads]

I think he feels awful too. Just because he won't look you in the eye doesn't mean he is seeing someone else. He could feel guilty b/c he feels like he is hurting you...or he could be trying to avoid you because he is hurt too.

[BlockHead]

Roxy

…every time we get on the topic of us as a couple, he can't look me in the eye. He looks away. EVERY TIME.

He is looking away because he is uncomfortable with the topic. I get the impression of marriage with the word “couple,” and he might be afraid of commitment. Opening up like that isn’t easy because that makes him vulnerable.

 

It is all about context. What is the situation?

Never accuse him directly because he will only become defensive. Study his body language, comfort level, and word usage.

You should probe further if he gets uncomfortable in conversations about cheating, or some girl you think he is cheating with.

Talk about something that wouldn’t matter if he were faithful, but would make him uncomfortable if he was not.