Can someone please explain??

[GIZMO]

I am sure you have all read my previous posts on my piece of crap ex.. I just have a few questions before I can let this one go..

 

My ex has been calling my house lately and since we work together he sends me e-mails at work, telling me to becarful and making sure that my safety is okay.. Well everytime I tell him I am doing great, he tells me he still loves me and he still cares about me and nothing is set in stone between us, maybe sometime in the future we can work things out, but right now he needs space and time..

 

( Whatever )

 

Anyways, He keeps telling me that he is not with any other woman and he just wants to live his life right now and be selfish. He says he wants to be single and he does not want to be with anyone at this time.

 

My question to you all is... why e-mail me? Why call me? Is it so that way if he decides he wants me back I will be on his front step waiting??

I don't want this man back, I do not trust him, and to be honest, I feel so much better being single. He treated me like crap.

I thank you all so much for telling me to stay away from him as much as I could and to worry about me.. that is what I am trying to do, but this man always wants to talk now..

WhY??????????????

He is 33 years old!!!!!!! He needs to grow up and I know this.. But why call me? Why e-mail me? Why tell me that you love me? At the same time, he says that he does not know if he is in love with me. ( Alls I hear is blah blah blah )

Can someone please expain??

[Fancy]

Originally posted by GIZMO

 

My question to you all is... why e-mail me? Why call me? Is it so that way if he decides he wants me back I will be on his front step waiting??

 

Bingo! You have your answer right there. He wants to live his life and have his fun and if he doesn't find anything he deems better than you, he wants you to be there waiting for him, like a little lost puppy.

 

The best thing you can do is to have no contact whatsoever with him. By replying to his emails or calls, you're playing right into his hands and making him feel extremely smug and big.

[Goatsbreath]

I would say he is just checking your mood. He wants to know if he devistated you. Thats why he keeps calling, he wants to here you say how much you miss him. Somehow this makes him feel good. This is just my thought because if he initiated the break- why isn't he taking it. Tell him he broke up with you- remember, remember the break- now leave me alone.

[shopgrl]

Gizmo- My ex is 33 yrs old as well. What the hell is with these 33 year old men needing time and space?

 

When my ex and I broke up he said to me "who knows, maybe in a few months get back together" and "right now I just need some time to figure things out" Ha! What a joke! I told him no way and the only thing that's going to happen in a few months is that someone is going to be kicking themself in the ***.

 

My ex hasn't called me since shortly after the break up (which was about 3 weeks ago) but I see some similiarties between your ex and my ex. It sounds to me like your ex is holding on to you, just in case he ever grows up and wants to settle down. He probably knows your a good girl and wants to keep on good terms with you.

 

How long ago did you two break up and has he been calling you ever since? If I were you I wouldn't return his calls or emails. Be honest with him, tell him that you're doing fine without him and have no intentions on getting back together. If he is the one who initiated the break up, remind him that he got what he wanted. By the way, I'm glad to hear that you're doing better without him!

[GIZMO]

My ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months now. I just got back from his place now, I had to get some more of my belongings and he was at the house.. Well he started crying telling me how much he loves me and how he will always love me ( whatever)!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him, he was the one that broke up with me, he said that he had to do that..

He said he was not happy.....Whatever!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, he once again made me cry, and I told him I can not see him like this anymore, and I don't want to talk to him, I told him that when and if he ever really figures out that he is IN LOVE with me then to let me know, but this is just putting me back into a depression and I will not let him do it to me anymore.

He said that he understood and I left the house..

Why do men always have to be like this? I mean, all's I did was love this man, and gave him my world..

What an ass hole! I just don't get it.. Maybe I never will.. But this is hard, and I know I will be scared to fall in love again with someone, the way I did with him..

I am so glad I found this website, you all have helped me out so much.. Thank you all for everything..

I just hope that one day this man feels the hurt that I have felt..

If he can cry in front of me, why can he not just tell me he made a mistake? Why just let me go the way he did??

This is just crazy!!!!!!!!!!

[shopgrl]

Men..... I don't think I will ever understand them either....... It sounds to me like your ex is realizing he made a mistake and regretting it. He just isn't man enough to admit he was wrong. What the hell does he mean, he had to break up with you? That doesn't make sense.

 

I admire you for the way you handled the situation at your boyfriend's house. You must be a very strong girl not to melt back into his arms. I hope that one day, my ex feels as ****ty as yours is feeling right now and I hope that I can be as strong as you are and shut the door.

 

Break ups are so tough. I'm having a really hard time with it too. I haven't slept a full night in 3 weeks and my ex is constantly on my mind. I wonder, do they hurt too?

 

Don't let your ex ruin Mr. Right's chances with you. You have the ability to love so use it and don't be scared. It's unfortunate that we have to go through Mr. Wrong before finding Mr. Right. This sucks.

[bark]

Speaking as a guy, this is my best guess at to your husband's motivations: ego and emotional insurance policy.

 

As for ego, he wants to believe that he can still "rock your world." That you are, so to speak, still captivated by his charm , prisoner of his love. I know that's bull but many guys leave their spouses and, on some level, expect their spouses to still be there--emotionally, physically and sexually.

 

Next, you're an insurance policy in case things don't work out as planned in the "single world." You're the "insurance" relationship.

 

I'm sure if you take a lover that would absolutely crush your husband. Sounds like he deserves it.