Being single harder than I thought.

[wierdmunky]

I'm not sure if it's the combo with that and living with my parents, but I feel so lonely! Lonely and non-assertive with no power. I remember when I could care less if I was with someone and still felt happy and content with what I had going on with my life, but now it's the getting things started with my own life thats hard because I don't want to do things a lone. Or I at least feel like I'm alone. It's that loser, loner feeling. No confidence. I don't want to tell anyone how I feel because who wants to hear that, and it's not going to come out right. I don't feel completely happy, but I know I should go out there and do things. The more I do though, the more I'm kind of reminded that I'm single, and I should be happy, because I like not worrying about relationships.

 

It's like I lost that motivation drive. I want it back, and don't feel complete. What is that, and how can I get over it so I can get going with my life again.

[NiceGuy4Ever]

First of all, talk to your friends, trust me. If you aren't happy they won't be fully happy. Talk to them about the situation and they'll give you feed back and comfort. You can even talk to your parents. It takes a bit of time to get adjusted to the single life again and I know it feels like it was all happier when you were with someone but try to like volunteer in things that will not only make you happy but others happy. It'll bring back your self-esteem. Hope this helps

[Yellowboy]

I am feeling more and more that way. Even though I’ve felt comfortable about others seeing me being single, suddenly I feel like my age has caught up with me.

 

These past 3 years, most people around me got married or had their first baby. We recently got new people in our workplace and they are around my age, but they’re all married and have kids.

 

Suddenly, Mr. Single here is now one of the few unmarried people and feel like I’m in the wrong. Some women have made cruel remarks to other older guys in our workplace like, “He’s like 40 something and he’s not married.” Granted I am not close to 40, I fear for the day I become this guy.

 

I’ve been happy with my single life until the most recent 3 years. Life just suddenly moved so fast, realizing I am older than I thought I was, and even though I have strong ambitions and goals ahead of me, I don’t know…I feel like I lack something.

 

I have close friends whom I can trust, some who I would have considered marrying, if only they weren’t taken or thought of me in the same way. I just had to accept that part.

 

I used to be fine doing things alone, but now, I yearn for company. I’m at the point where I wished I could share my happiness with someone special, that it sucks I have to enjoy everything by myself. It doesn’t have to be this way.

 

I’m just venting here, not in the best of moods this past few weeks, that’s all. There’s really no solution but to keep dating women and hope eventually find someone. Until then, yeah...

[lino]

Yeah it isn't fun.

 

In times where I felt like this I would take a nice vacation and that's something I'd really like to do now but I can't because I just started my own business 7 months ago and can't leave it! The only thing I'm lookig forward to now is the summertime coming again.

 

 

Maybe you could try taking a vacation somewhere

[claire0917]

I find it hard to enjoy things all by myself. It feels empty. There's always a need to share something to someone.

[kizik]

Being single is the reality. We all die alone, we spend most of our lives alone. Being single is the way life is. You can choose to accept it, or you can adopt the mentality that you "should" be with someone, and constantly abuse yourself with thoughts of how you "aren't good enough," you're "not worthy of love," etc.

 

How can the natural way of life be difficult? Listen, I'm not intentionally being a pr*ck - what I am saying is that you physically existed before your girlfriend ever met you. You Existed, and You Were Fine. Then, you met someone and spent months / years with them. Your self-esteem became inflated because someone "loved" you. You were Better Than You Were. You were Whole. You were Fulfilled. All because of the relationship.

 

But the relationship came crashing down. So you didn't know who you were anymore, because who you were was based upon her "love". It's like the You who existed before meeting her was a stranger to you. Alone, dumped, you were a Nobody, and no one would ever love you again.

 

But you know who can and always will love you? YOU. And do you know what the biggest mistake you can make is? Placing your self-worth in the fickle hands of others. When YOU love YOU, you exist always. You don't disappear because of another's flightiness, inconsideration, or cruelty.

 

Being single means being alive. You are alive, and you are no less or no more than everyone else.

[lino]

Being single is the reality. We all die alone, we spend most of our lives alone. Being single is the way life is. You can choose to accept it, or you can adopt the mentality that you "should" be with someone, and constantly abuse yourself with thoughts of how you "aren't good enough," you're "not worthy of love," etc.

 

How can the natural way of life be difficult? Listen, I'm not intentionally being a pr*ck - what I am saying is that you physically existed before your girlfriend ever met you. You Existed, and You Were Fine. Then, you met someone and spent months / years with them. Your self-esteem became inflated because someone "loved" you. You were Better Than You Were. You were Whole. You were Fulfilled. All because of the relationship.

 

But the relationship came crashing down. So you didn't know who you were anymore, because who you were was based upon her "love". It's like the You who existed before meeting her was a stranger to you. Alone, dumped, you were a Nobody, and no one would ever love you again.

 

But you know who can and always will love you? YOU. And do you know what the biggest mistake you can make is? Placing your self-worth in the fickle hands of others. When YOU love YOU, you exist always. You don't disappear because of another's flightiness, inconsideration, or cruelty.

 

Being single means being alive. You are alive, and you are no less or no more than everyone else.

 

 

That is very easy to say. I could have typed the same thing myself but what does it mean?

 

Yes I'm alive and no more than everyone else but that doesn't take away the loneliness.

 

I've lived a normal and very good life in every single way but one - I've never had any sort of serious relationship with a woman.

That was something I had no issue with a few years ago but now everyone around me is laying the foundations for a life with their partner. I'm more than ready to do the same but there's only one problem - I don't have a partner.

 

You can love yourself and enjoy yourself alone as much as you want but as time goes on and you're constantly alone without anyone to share your experiences with it gets really scary!