MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I know what its like to not be pretty. In middle/high school I was ugly. When I see pictures of myself from that time period I get angry, and rip them apart. I am still mad that I took my graduation photo, I looked so dark and ugly Anyway, I worked on myself and became pretty but I still don't feel pretty enough. When I look good, men are nicer to me, I have more value, I feel respected and like I mean something to the world. They smile at me, ask me how I am doing, open doors for me, etc Back when I was ugly, guys would ignore me, it was like I didn't even exist. If they could they would walk right through me. They don't speak, don't make eye contact, a lot of men are like this to women who are not very attractive. I think they are programmed to be this way. They are only gentleman, and show respect to women they think are good looking. I know this is the case So to all of those saying that looks don't matter don't know what they are talkinga bout. Maybe they have never been ugly at a point in their life. Even women who are incredibly beautiful but bitchy (bad personalities) dont have it as bad as people say they do. Why do you think so many pretty girls are stuck up? Because as long as they are pretty men will bend over backwards for them. Once their looks fade (get old and ugly) they'll change. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Looks count, that's true. But just as important, and even more so in the long run, are personality and some semblance of mental health and stability. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 No matter how good looking a guy is but if he lacks personality and intelligence, that's it is for me - goodbye! Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Nobody says that looks don't matter - of course it sucks to be ugly. But look don't matter nearly *as much* as you suggest: if you're hot but inadequate, you're not getting ahead (except in relaity shows), and if you're ugly, but a joy to be around, you'll have at least some extent of success. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Edit to add : I'm sure there are men out there that find you very pretty and those who find you just alright... it happens to everyone, even to women who are drop dead gorgeous! Link to post Share on other sites
Soul-Searcher Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I would rather date an average guy who has an amazing personality, than date a gorgeous like Brad Pitt guy who has the intelligence of a peanut. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 Nobody says that looks don't matter - of course it sucks to be ugly. But look don't matter nearly *as much* as you suggest: if you're hot but inadequate, you're not getting ahead (except in relaity shows), and if you're ugly, but a joy to be around, you'll have at least some extent of success. This is not true. Take Megan Fox for example, who is a total bitch but making lots of money off of her looks and certianly not lacking in male attention and admiration. Men are very superficial and shallow. They are nice to you based on how attractive you are. I know the men who happen to find me attractive are VERY nice to me, while if I am not a guy's type, he's not that nice to me and pretty much ignores me Even when I go shopping, if a guy thinks I am pretty, he is very helpful and will even go the extra mile. If I am not looking my best or I am simply not the guy's type, the quality of my customer service goes downhill. It was like pulling teeth trying to get one guy to help me out in a store once. I probably wasn't his type, too dark, or whatever it may have been That's why if I get plastic surgery and improve on how I look, I can increase the positive attention I get from men Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Meagan, can you for once, balance external input? Each negative thought that comes to mind, appears to become this massive black cloud that hangs over you. In putting so much into the massive black cloud, there's always torrential rains falling in your world. Of course looks matter, just like personality matters, just like how you dress matters, just like table manners count, just like courtesy in general matters, just like intelligence matters, etc, etc. IF someone's not interested in you, move on. No big deal. It shouldn't be tantamount to devastation, every time a guy isn't interested. Why fixate on someone who you don't even know? Just move on if he's all about shallow. Meagan, work with what's within you. Link to post Share on other sites
stepka Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 MR, I had the same problem when I was young--I went from very awkward w/ a terrible case of acne, braces, and an awkward personality to a smooth complection, nice straight teeth, a cute figure, and still an awkward personality. It's true I did get more attn, but much of it was the wrong kind--guys honking at me on the street etc. Also, it all came together rather suddenly and I didn't know what to do w/ it all. Now I'm 50 and try to keep myself attractive and still get some attn, though much less of it is intrusive-- I did get honked at the other day, lol. I'd say the wisest thing you can do now is figure out what to do w/ the attn you receive and decide whether you'll let it go to your head--it's just ego stuff after all, and the more you can suppress the bad boy ego, the better off you'll be. We all only need one good man--the rest of them looking at us are just icing on the cake. And stop being angry at men--I'll bet you look past the less attractive ones too. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Men are very superficial and shallow. They are nice to you based on how attractive you are. Okay, Jersey Jr., let us know how that thinking works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 MR, I had the same problem when I was young--I went from very awkward w/ a terrible case of acne, braces, and an awkward personality to a smooth complection, nice straight teeth, a cute figure, and still an awkward personality. It's true I did get more attn, but much of it was the wrong kind--guys honking at me on the street etc. Also, it all came together rather suddenly and I didn't know what to do w/ it all. Now I'm 50 and try to keep myself attractive and still get some attn, though much less of it is intrusive-- I did get honked at the other day, lol. I'd say the wisest thing you can do now is figure out what to do w/ the attn you receive and decide whether you'll let it go to your head--it's just ego stuff after all, and the more you can suppress the bad boy ego, the better off you'll be. We all only need one good man--the rest of them looking at us are just icing on the cake. And stop being angry at men--I'll bet you look past the less attractive ones too. I don't mind that type of attentin. I like it when men honk their horns when I am walking down the street. I feel valued, like I matter to people in this world When you're attractive people notice you, and respond positively to you (men that is) and it feels good to get treated this way. I want to look the best that I can and appeal to as many people as possible to increase the admiration, and attention I get from men. It's just that when a guy doesn't think youre pretty, it's not a good feeling. And they don't treat you very nice either. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 And stop being angry at men--I'll bet you look past the less attractive ones too. She has stated numerous times that she doesn't like the men who approach her. IMO, her psychology is a no-win perpetual conundrum. There are no possible openings to resolution. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Okay, Jersey Jr., let us know how that thinking works out for you. :laugh: Sorry, couldn't help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bejita463 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 You have massive self esteem issues. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Looks count, that's true. But just as important, and even more so in the long run, are personality and some semblance of mental health and stability. Exhibit A: "I also look at my neice and get scared that she may blossom into a pretty girl and take all the attention away from me. I'm scared that the men who used to look and admire me will want her instead. She'll be much younger and I'll be in my 30s by the time she is a teen and a young adult..I wish my sister had boys instead" Link to post Share on other sites
stepka Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I want to look the best that I can and appeal to as many people as possible to increase the admiration, and attention I get from men. Yes hun, you really need to work on that one--it's just ego. Your ego is nothing. Ask yourself this--why do you need this? What is it good for? To give you shot of feel-good feelings? Then you need something else in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I don't mind that type of attentin. I like it when men honk their horns when I am walking down the street. I feel valued, like I matter to people in this world When you're attractive people notice you, and respond positively to you (men that is) and it feels good to get treated this way. I want to look the best that I can and appeal to as many people as possible to increase the admiration, and attention I get from men. It's just that when a guy doesn't think youre pretty, it's not a good feeling. And they don't treat you very nice either.So you think that getting hassled by random men in cars honking or yelling at you, values you? Eewww... I can't stand that. It's to me, the height of rudeness and objectification, like meat on a slab. As for women who aren't pretty, being treated in a shabby way by men, I don't agree. The ones with horrible attitudes are treated this way but then, that's regardless of looks. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Actually pretty women with a crappy personality and poor self-esteem have it worse in the long run that average women with a great personality and a healthy dose of self-esteem...they just get more respect. Yes the hot girl will get a$$-kissers in the beginning only because the guy wants to get into their pants. And I ask so what? Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Meagan, if you think that being a piece of meat on display, is being somebody, then good luck with that. My wife is beautiful as is my daughter, both have told me the same thing. Beautiful women are not taken as seriously, because of their looks. My wife has a very high-profile job, and actually dresses down, so her co-workers will regard her with the proper respect. My daughter does the same thing. She is the C.F.O. of a large company and wears glasses. keeps her hair in a tight bun, wears little make-up, and dresses in the most severe business suits, she can find. If all you want is sexual attention, then by all means, slut it up, if you want to be treated with respect, then work on your character as much, if not more, than your appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 This is not true. Take Megan Fox for example, who is a total bitch but making lots of money off of her looks and certianly not lacking in male attention and admiration. Men are very superficial and shallow. They are nice to you based on how attractive you are. I know the men who happen to find me attractive are VERY nice to me, while if I am not a guy's type, he's not that nice to me and pretty much ignores me Even when I go shopping, if a guy thinks I am pretty, he is very helpful and will even go the extra mile. If I am not looking my best or I am simply not the guy's type, the quality of my customer service goes downhill. It was like pulling teeth trying to get one guy to help me out in a store once. I probably wasn't his type, too dark, or whatever it may have been That's why if I get plastic surgery and improve on how I look, I can increase the positive attention I get from men Yeah, but none of the examples you give involve relaitonships. Of course I'd love to bone Megan Fox if she fell in my lap this morning before I got dressed for work (and then disapeared into thin air). But, would I want to deal with her for the rest of my life? 'ell no! If that's the kind of attention you want, I'd say your investment in plastic surgery will produce poor return . As for incousequential everyday interactions, it is true that looks affect them, but more than anything it tells you what kind of person you're dealing with. Store clerk's job is to treat everybody nicely. At least you can exploit it to your advantage, and it applies both to men and women. When I roll in a well-tailored suit, people know I mean business and treat me differently than if I show up in jeans (although i still mean business ). Gullible suckers, i guess... Link to post Share on other sites
cyril's fan Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Actually pretty women with a crappy personality and poor self-esteem have it worse in the long run that average women with a great personality and a healthy dose of self-esteem...they just get more respect. Yes the hot girl will get a$$-kissers in the beginning only because the guy wants to get into their pants. And I ask so what? However the "poor" average women don't get asked out as much as their beautiful sisters. They don't get as many chances to get to the second point where they show their great personality. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 So you think that getting hassled by random men in cars honking or yelling at you, values you? Eewww... I can't stand that. It's to me, the height of rudeness and objectification, like meat on a slab. Aaarrgghhhh! I can't stand when they do the whistling/kissing sound or the sound that a mouse makes. It makes me wanna punch them in the face! Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 However the "poor" average women don't get asked out as much as their beautiful sisters. They don't get as many chances to get to the second point where they show their great personality. True, but don't underestimate guys: most are not stupid and understand this dynamics and prioritize accordingly. Actually there are many beautiful women who may have troubles marrying or establishing solid relationships. Makes perfect economic sense, actually: looks fade, so a gorgeous girl with no other major qualities is a depreciating asset to be dated and dumped once the looks fade . An average girl with greatr traits and personality on the other hand is better positioned to draw consistend long term returns on her assets on the marriage market because even if her looks fade, her other assets make her more desireable partner in the long term . There. Cynical enough for you? Sure, occasionally there is the best of both worlds, but the odds are slim, so why waste time thinking about it? I honestly don't see how a marginally hotter girl than my already pretty and great girlfriend would make me any happier??? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Aaarrgghhhh! I can't stand when they do the whistling/kissing sound or the sound that a mouse makes. It makes me wanna punch them in the face! I hear you! Look Meagan, how can you cry about men being shallow, when you're all about shallow? This to me, appears to be the height of hypocrisy. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 She has stated numerous times that she doesn't like the men who approach her. IMO, her psychology is a no-win perpetual conundrum. There are no possible openings to resolution. Sorry Men are damned if they do, and damned if they don't. If we notice "attractive" women we're pigs, and if we don't notice "unattractive" women we're pigs. Where does female insecurity start, and so-called male sexism end? Link to post Share on other sites
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