how often do you get to see each other?

[confusedcookie]

here's my situation:

 

i met my bf in my hometown, canada, where he's an international student, studying...

 

i'm going to teach in japan for a year, when originally he said he would go with me, and now he's not because he said he doesn't have the money and can't find a job there (he's from china, so he can't teach english there)

 

but after i teach in japan, he won't stay in canada, where my hometown is because he stresses, he can't find as good paying job here as he can in china, so he's going to go back, no buts. if we want this to work, i would have to move to china...

 

i find that a little unfair, and i know love is not equal, but i just think that if he loved me enough, he would make it work with me in canada...

 

anyways, enough of the rambling, my question is that my only expectation of him when i'm in japan is that he will visit me once a month, is that expectation too far fetched???

for the first 8 months, he will be in canada, so that would cost about $1000us for a round trip, and when he's back in china, he would cost $300us to visit me in japan.

 

i just want to know how often do you get to see your bf/gf, i mean, if you don't at least see him/her once a month, doesn't the relationship "go cold" (for lack of a better term, lol)

[KikiW]

I have seen my honey about once every other month since last October. It definitely doesn't make the relationship go cold.

 

Just ask IslandGirl how often she sees her husband, time apart can be irrelevant if the love is there.

[LDR]

My bf and I started met online, and became friends at first. We met after 1.5 years of knowing each other. We see each other every 4-5 months, but we do make sure to talk every single day by MSN, phone or text messages, no matter how busy we are. The relationship is great as we keep communicating constantly. It's unrealistic for us to see each other once a month as it would be too expensive, plus we cant take that much time off.

[SophieA]

We've got visits planned for about once every 8 weeks. And like LDR said, it's just important to keep up w/ communication...text, call, im...whatever it takes, and stick with it!

[Island Girl]

As Kiki pointed out - seeing each other is great but not necessary. (Thanks for the shout out Kiki! )

 

Communication is crucial, however, even if that is reduced it doesn't mean it will "go cold". The only thing that makes the relationship "go cold" or end is the people involved.

 

Dedication and commitment overcome circumstances. ANY circumstances.

 

Of course there is care of each other and preservation of feelings - i.e. I would never ask him to put up with something I would never put up with. Just like I wouldn't expect to run over his feelings and have him still be my man. That is common sense isn't it?

 

If the two of you are committed to sticking it out and staying together no matter what then you will be.

[LonelyTiger]

We see each other every 3 or 4 months and there is nothing 'cold' about our relationship! If anything it's probably 'hotter' than when we lived together!

 

Going LDR means we no longer have each other 'on tap' and that just makes time together more precious.

 

As everybody here has already said, it's all about communication. If you want to keep the relationship strong, you have to commit yourselves to it and do whatever it takes.

 

Get together as often as you can but, even if it's not often, you'll make it work in the long term if you both really want it to.

 

Good luck.

[barbiedhol]

Hey there =)

My SO is in med school right now finishing off his last year so its a bit tough on my side here too. Normally the first two years he would come once every four months to see me and his family back home. Now that he is another state (four hrs away) from me, i am going to go visit him at least once a month. If he does residency in another state then i am going to do the same as well.

 

It is really hard to go many months without seeing your SO, but with good communication that pain will soon be ease to cope. I found it hard to not see my SO for four months. Slowly it got better and now its much better. Things will get easier as time goes by, you just gotta stay strong and know that if one person becomes weak that does not mean the other one should do the same.

 

School is tough, and in this tough situation they need their SO's (us) to be their for them. listen to their complaints and support them. I hope everything goes the way you wish it for too =) Good Luck

[Mei Mei]

I am a chinese from hong kong and he is from Ireland. We plan to meet thrice in a year for the coming three years, like April, Aug and Nov this year. But in each year the period of stay would be longer due to our refining financial arrangements. He visits me twice whereas I visit him once. But at interim, we keep meeting online with cam for one hour, a few phone calls and sms per day, and bearing the 7 hours' time difference. But LDR is very romantic I feel it:bunny: