garagegal Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 My ex still calls me 1-2 ti'mes a week, even though he got hes ex pregnant after we had just split up. Its been the worst year of my life so far. I lost the man i loved ( who i thought loved me) i had an abortion in march ( same guy) and now his baby has been born, he has gone back to his ex, to try and make a go of it with her. I'm so angry, and sad that he could do this to me. Its not that I'm naive, but when someone tells you throughout your relationship that they would never do certain things to you, and then you find out theve been doing just that, it kills your faith and trust, and makes it very hard to do it again. Why would he still call me and tell me about Hi'm getting them a flat together, or changing his jobs to make more money so he can support them both. That, my friends, is wot i wanted all along but he didn't make the effort with me. I wish i didn't have feelings for Hi'm, but i do. We went through a lot and i cant believe hes just gone from being in a relationship with me, to having a baby with his ex and starting completely new. Do you think he even feels any pain about the abortion, or are men unfeeling like that. Please, anyone and everyone, would love your two cents on this situation. Will i ever move on after being so heartbroken Link to post Share on other sites
Girlinterrupted Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Wow, I just went to a simular situation. I can totally relate to your pain. I was with my man for 3 yrs and last year I had an abortion, he was devasted....answering your question...do guys feel the pain...Yes! Even if they don't really let you know just how much. In fact I found that he kinda resented me for it, even though he went with me. Anyway I just found out that he had messed with some girl sometime after that (during one of our breakups) and he got her pregnant. Long story short: She just had his kid and we finally broke up for good! He denied everything to me, even told me the chick was slut and the kid ain't his but I met the child and it look just like him plus I read a letter that he wrote this girl......he was lying all along. Anyway my advice is...move on....things are going to be so complicated now, not only is she his X (they have history) but now she is his baby's mom and that puts her on a level that you can never be on unless you too have his kid which....you should absalutely not do! Now he has responsibilities and more important issues to worry about in his life. He will always call you if you he knows that you are available to him....just a note....men are dogs and will try to keep as many girls as they can under their belt. This is a really hard thing to deal with, the drama of always dealing with another woman (his child's mother, who is now for ever in his life), always having to wonder if they are more than that, the calls the $$ issues it's just all too much to deal with. It's just not worth all the mental stress that it will put you through. My advice is move on, you don't want suffer the consequences of his mistakes with him. You have no attachements and you are free to move on to a happier life. I did and now I look at him and I feel bad for him and am so happy that it's her and not me having to deal with all that drama. Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 I'm sorry for the pain you're going through right now. You have got to stop talking to this guy! By continuing to allow him into your life you are abusing yourself. He has shown you through his actions where his loyalties lie. The more you talk to him, the more you're inhibiting healing. He has a family now with his ex. You cannot change that, nor can you make his baby "go away." That is the reality. I know it's got to be tearing your heart out, but you are adding to your own pain by remaining in contact with him. If you want to feel better and somehow get past this, the first step you have to take is learning to not answer the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Guidette82 Posted October 29, 2003 Share Posted October 29, 2003 Wow...my situation is KINDA similar..except he didn't have a kid with his ex..he is just back with her. WELL, I can say this....I know it's hard to move on..I know you love him and you are feeling a lot of pain about the abortion...but think of this...WHY would he have a kid with her, and not with YOU?? I was lied to throughout TWO relationships and fell for it both times....you need to know that YOU deserve better. One day you will meet a man who will love you more than ANYTHING in the world..that's what you deserve. Good Luck with everything...it'll get better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author garagegal Posted October 30, 2003 Author Share Posted October 30, 2003 Thank you all so much for replying. I know i deserve better, and i am doing my best to get on with my life, meet new people and start afresh. Its just hard to forget how things happened and it sometimes makes me feel so horrible and rejected in the horriblest way. I feel i wasted two years on a man who then threw it all back in my face. LIFE GOES ON AND I HOPE I COME OUT OF THIS A STRONGER WISER PERSON. Thank you again for your advice. Any more comments welcome Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 You may have wasted two years but don't allow yourself to waste any more! Time is precious and you're young. You need to grieve this loss and then move on and not let the experience rob you of any more time out of your life. What's done is done and unfortunately you can't change that. I know it's hard but you're going to have to force yourself to stay away from him and out of his life. Doing anything less is only going to make two years wasted turn into three and eventually four. Is he really worth that? I think not. Hang in there! Time will heal this for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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