AriaIncognito Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I'm just curious about something. How many of you, both men and women, have found that you tend to end up being the one that your SO dated before finding "The One" for them? I've had this happen to me at least 2-3 times (might even be 4 if i really looked into it). Most recently my current ex is now engaged (got engaged earlier this year, he met her at the end of our relationship). I feel like I'm the person that gets my SO to realize exactly what they want and somehow find it as soon as they aren't with me. Anyone else have a similar experience? Of course this hasn't happened with all my exes I have about 10 more where it didn't but most of those were in my younger years where it wouldn't happen as easily. Just curious to hear stories and how others feel about being the one before your ex finds "The One". Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Yup. Three times that I know of, but it's been about 6 or 7 years since that happened. Irritiated the crap out of me, particularly because in TWO of those instances, he was cheating on me with the girl... and in the final one, while we were together, I knew she had a thing for him. A year after we broke up, they started dating...and two years later, they were married. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 No I can't say that I have. I'm usually the "One". Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted June 10, 2009 Author Share Posted June 10, 2009 No I can't say that I have. I'm usually the "One". I need your problems, amaysngrace lol. As for SG - i feel your pain. Annoyed me too, because in my recent instance, he did cheat on me as well, he was looking for her while he was still sleeping with and dating me. It always hurt knowing that. And then this week I learned he was engaged. To me, I wish him well, but secretly (or not so much since i'm posting it hehe) i wished he'd be hurt in the way he hurt me. Maybe he still will, who knows, but it definitely sucks being the one before the one. More stories! These are fun...in a sad sorta way. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I need your problems, amaysngrace lol. No trust me you wouldn't want them. The ones that asked to marry me and the one that I did marry aren't any great prize. But see I had my head up my ass at the time and didn't know this about them. (or me) Link to post Share on other sites
sailing Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Yep, that's me! The funny thing is, I would be willing to accept - and even respect - ambivalence about a relationship, but it's so humiliating and disheartening to see those fears quickly dissipate once someone else (better?) comes along. What I would really like to know, though, is the extent to which I subconsciously pick them for exactly this reason. I never know whether it's my confidence and faith in deserving love - or their feelings - that falter first. Can you relate - or am I just rationalizing to cling on to some pride? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Glad to know I'm not the only "Good Luck Chuck"! Link to post Share on other sites
Carolyn Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Yup, same here. Im always the 'one' before the 'One'.......but I tend to also become, the Unforgettable Ex Girlfriend. They meet the 'One'....but cant seem able to forget about me either, hence I've all my exes try to return at some point...only I dont do committed or married guys. Link to post Share on other sites
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