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why do we manifest our own problems?


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BuckWildLady

I swear i have some sort of trust issue and i've never been cheated on but i'm constantly thinking my boyfriend of a year and a half is cheating.... i wish i knew how to cope with my issues and not be a nut case and annoy him because i know i will push him away if i keep acting like a loon but i know my issues stem from not having a dad around and have been to counseling but i don't know why i still act in this manner. He has never given me a reason to not trust or to be jealous but i am.... i think i'm sabbatoging my own relationship...

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It's good you at least reconize what you may be doing. Maybe google some books about how to cope with or get past self sabotage. Or maybe seek out a counselor in your area that deals with cognitive behavior therapy.

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You are correct, it's not necessary that you will doubt him or be jealous to feel this way, you are also correct that you could be sabatogging your relationship. It could be that you have a low level of self esteem (SE).

 

I still think it depends how your past relationships have been (even though if they have never cheated on you). For instance, if someone goes through an abusive or rough relationship, then it can put a blow to the person's SE. Or maybe your bf is super amazing to you and you may not feel good enough (despite from his eyes you are just fine), but because of your low SE you may question the relationship and wonder if he has other intentions.

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