Can you feel needed and not be in love?

[2030]

Lets say a girl says to her guy friend that she needs him and wants him around, this makes him feel needed and wanted; this makes him in love with her or him have very strong feelings towards her?

 

If the girl doesn't feel needed and wanted. Its a one way street.

 

Ofcourse the sexual attraction has to be there.

 

I'm trying to understand what is required at the root to be in love.

 

Needed, wanted and sexual attraction?

[playlislay]

For starters you have to 'click' with someone. Someone that makes you feel happy and sparky internally (in my opinion). So you two are friends, so you obviously enjoy their company, but do you two click?

 

I was in, sort of, the same position. I have a male friend that I felt I could talk to about anything, we didnt hang out often, but we had known each other for years. My bf left me at xmas and this friend happened to be just what I needed. He would cuddle me when I was down, talked to me and made me feel a who;le lot better. Things progressed to us meeting up nearly every night, although I know that at the time he was trying to get me into bed But, I knew that we didnt have feelings for each other and we didnt click, so a relationship together just wouldnt happen.

 

We discussed how we missed spending weekday evenings cuddled up with another person and the general cosy company of the opposire sex. The feeling of being secure and loved (even though it would be false) I suppose? We began to become slightly more "comfortable" with each other.

 

I really did enjoy having a man around, that someone to rely on and get comfort from. It appeared that I needed him and he needed me, yet I understand that this could have happened with any single man in a similar position. That was until we had sex. Thats when it all stopped dead in its tracks.

 

We had sex twice, which to me looked like a promising FWB (I dont like having sex with any tom, dick-how appropriate, lol-or harry) which is what I wanted, with the benefits of a "cuddle buddy". But he went all weird on me and at times there was akwardness in the air between us.

 

We go to the same bars. A while back I was there and saw him trying to chat up a girl and my first reaction was jealousy! I soon talked myself round and felt rather confused as to why I felt jealous. I realised that it wasnt because I loved him, it was because there is a link between what I recieved from him emotionally/physically, and what I would recieve from a loving partner.

 

Feelings, but not love. Get it?

 

My main point is that I did start to like him and get feelings for him, but I dont think it was because I was in love with him, as we didnt click in that way. It was because I got too close, too comfortable with the feeling of being loved.

 

Blame it on the chemicals in our brain, thats what I say!

[2030]

I read somewhere that distance makes the heart grow founder. Spending too much time with someone doesn't make you miss them. I've had awkwardness in the air in the past with her, while driving mainly, but thats when I use to be very materialistic/insecure. I believe feeling comfertible in your own skin without all the materials will get rid of the awkwardness. I feel confident driving now which cancels out the awkwardness. The communication is there.

 

Seems to me he felt more of a parent then a friend/boyfriend. Working at it is not good in my opinion. When you meet someone new, you have fun romanticly and it just happens.

 

I believe to go from friends to lovers, the guy just needs to treat his lady friend like a lover or see her that way, don't hold anything back. He got weirded out cause he saw you as an attractive friend after having sex with you, and not a lover.