LadyV Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 So, as I mentioned in earlier posts, I have been in NC with XBF for 38 days now...I initiated NC when I found out he was persuing another person....It hurt me so bad after he was telling me how much he loved me, blah blah blah, and said he had hope for us, then, all of a sudden, his thinking switched. Because he had someone else waiting in the wings. I closed all my email accounts, opened a new one and blocked his email just in case. I blocked his phone number too. I can't receive texts or phone calls from him...I have not contacted him AT ALL. I recieved a card on my graduation day from college. Mind you, I am a 36 year old single mom of 2...I was married for 13 years. XBF was the first serious relationship after my D. He left the card at my house, wedged in my door. 2 weeks after I initiated NC. In it he said that he was so happy for me that I got my walk, and my family was here. That I gave him the very best of who I am, and he would have loved to share my day with me, but that everything happens for a reason! He also wished me the very best for my future. I didn't reply with a thank you card....Just 2 days ago I tore up the card because I was so angry with him and just want him out of my head!!!!!! I know he has a new girl, because I am very good friends with XBF's roomate. He mentioned to me that new girl was at their place the other night....Roomate and I dont' talk about XBF much. I don't ask questions, and he is really leary about even saying anything. I mainly talk about my frustrations, and he listens. He has frustrations too because living with XBF is no easy task!!! When I found out about new girl spending the night, I just laughed and thought...POOR GIRL...Honestly, I didn't care that she was there...what bothered me was the way he did things...."I love you". BLAH...Okay, then you start dating someone else just 3 days later. Okay..sure buddy! Whatever you say!!! No contact has been very hard. But I keep reminding myself that it is for the best. After the way he had treated me and strung me along, only to just start seeing someone else, as well as wanting me in his life, NC was my only choice. I refuse to become a doormat!!! LIke I sid, it is been 39 days today!!! 39 DAYS!!! That is great. I haven't contacted him AT ALL. Blocking his number was the best thing I could have done... I get back from my lunch and find a forward to the ONLY account I couldn't change. My work account. When I saw name, instantly, I had a rush of emotions come over me. I thought about just deleting it, but decided to open it. In the Subject line it says... "FWD: FW: WOW!!WHAT AN EMAIL THIS IS WONDERFUL" It was a forward about touching people's lives...about making a differnece and letting that person know. It was a bunch of pictures, and it mentions something in there about. "If you are receiving this email, it is because I think you are important and you make a differerence. Here is a blue ribbon." I figure whatever, just a forward. I looked to see whom else he sent it to...It looks like he sent it to his son as well.... WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT??? I guess I I feel a sense of power, yet, am angry all over again...Is he thinking about Me? Why would he only send it to me and his son....BLAH!!! I just wish he would leave me alone..... I haven't replied either. Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Gawd! Who does this ex of yours think he is?? You have been doing so great. I am glad you didn't respond to the card or email. Obviously he has you work email. If he had anything important to say to you, he should be a man and just say. In the mean time, he has this new girl that he is distracting himself with, and he also refuses to let you move on. He sounds really selfish to me. You don't deserve that. It's too bad you can't change your work email. Can you at least put his email address into your work spam filter? Just continue ingnoring him. If he ever figures out what he wants, he should be able to find you. But I honestly beleive you can and will do better. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LadyV Posted June 10, 2009 Author Share Posted June 10, 2009 Gawd! Who does this ex of yours think he is?? You have been doing so great. I am glad you didn't respond to the card or email. Obviously he has you work email. If he had anything important to say to you, he should be a man and just say. In the mean time, he has this new girl that he is distracting himself with, and he also refuses to let you move on. He sounds really selfish to me. You don't deserve that. It's too bad you can't change your work email. Can you at least put his email address into your work spam filter? Just continue ingnoring him. If he ever figures out what he wants, he should be able to find you. But I honestly beleive you can and will do better. Hang in there! EXACTLY!!! I know, I was SO MAD. I called ROOMATE right away and again, he said to me..."I told you so...." He has told me to NOT unblock phone numbers or email because one way or another, XBF will contact me. I told him he won't dare email me at work. Boy, was I wrong. UGHGHGHGHG. I want to write back and say....'Uh, I think you mean to send this to your current girlfriend, not your ex....' LOL Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 That is not cool LadyV, what an *******. Can you possibly get his email blocked from your work account, or use a spam filter and his name to it? Do not email him back - he most likely just wants a reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LadyV Posted June 10, 2009 Author Share Posted June 10, 2009 That is not cool LadyV, what an *******. Can you possibly get his email blocked from your work account, or use a spam filter and his name to it? Do not email him back - he most likely just wants a reaction. Well, I probably could, but even then, it would still end up in my spam folder and I have to check my spam folder daily, so I would see it. It's a Gov't account and we use Outlook.... I am just going to ignore it...but if I were to reply, this is what I would say.... "Uh, think you sent this to the wrong person...shouldn't it go to your new girlfriend and not your ex? Have a great day!" Oh, it would feel so good to, but NO reaction is better than A reaction...right??? Oh well....Pisses me off!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 He has some nerve. Just because they break up with us, they think they can just pop in and out whenever they feel like it. Doesn't work that way. You are moving on, and he needs a clue! Good for you, don't respond! But I don't that's the last we will hear of him. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I would suggest not responding. Your proposed reply makes it sound like your still bitter - which is fair enough, but don't let him know that, better if he thinks you just don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LadyV Posted June 10, 2009 Author Share Posted June 10, 2009 I would suggest not responding. Your proposed reply makes it sound like your still bitter - which is fair enough, but don't let him know that, better if he thinks you just don't care. Yeah, I'm a little bitter...just the nerve of him!!! I AM NOT RESPONDING... Promise...If I do, then he wins...I refuse to let him know that I even am bothered by it...Just going to carry on and remind myself how good it feels to no longer have him in my life.... Link to post Share on other sites
z1850 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Hang in there and be tough with him...you're doing the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LadyV Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 UGH!!!! 40 days is good, yes. But I am so confussed...I keep analyzing things...Why did he have to send that forward to me? Why was it addressed only to me and his son? he didn't send it to family or anything. Just he and I. I keep assuming it was just a mistake... I almost send an email to him. But I didn't. I know, it comes and goes in waves. That is what makes it hard. I want to know why....why does he feel the need to drop hints that I am important. He has a girl now and should be telling her this stuff. I just hate this. I am trying to move on, but when he pops in like he does, it makes it difficult. Moving On..... Link to post Share on other sites
BearPower Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I used to know this brilliant website.... It was something to do with being 'cool'...so you took the test and aswered one question, and it flashes up ''no.sorry.your still a d*ck head'' This would have been PERFECT for you to send him. If i find it ill let you know Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 LadyV I know what you know by the over analyzing.... I'm quite a logical person (I have a degree in math ) so I tend to try and rationalize everything, but (and funnily enough I think this is a major issue) you must understand that reason has its limits. Its a bit sad at first and hard, but I tried to accept that "I would never understand fully this breakup". No matter what he says, you will have no idea if its the truth, no matter what you remember there could have been subtle hints you missed. Its hard to accept that we won't know exactly what went wrong, but I believe it to be true... so try to stop having a war in your head Link to post Share on other sites
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