BearPower Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I went NC. After a week she called twice. I called back 2 weeks later (3 weeks NC). She said she didnt know why she called and was talkative for a while then got weird and went cold. I think waiting 2 weeks to call back pissed her off and did some damage. She wants to feel wanted not unwanted...I know her very well...no matter how she feels about someone if she feels they dont want her she walks. Ah bro...that is a bad place to be in!!!! I dont know what to suggest, that is how i feel too!! Although now, for me, im in NC Gorgio, stay NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wow123 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 She told me she doesn't think that I miss her and I am probably out having a good time! If only she knew what a mess I have been for the past 2 months! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 I went NC. After a week she called twice. I called back 2 weeks later (3 weeks NC). She said she didnt know why she called and was talkative for a while then got weird and went cold. I think waiting 2 weeks to call back pissed her off and did some damage. She wants to feel wanted not unwanted...I know her very well...no matter how she feels about someone if she feels they dont want her she walks. No no no. She only called when you went NC because she wanted validation. Once you called and she got her validation, she got cold. Trust me, if she really wanted to be with you, she would be. For your own benefit, stick to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wow123 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 Validation for what? She broke up with me? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Validation for what? She broke up with me? Validation for her ego boost. She has self esteem issues. It makes her feel better about herself when you answer cuz she knows that you are waiting on the sidelines- hence the no challenge. Basically when you answer the phone, she knows your still waiting. Dont you read anything that was said in any of your other threads? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wow123 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 OUCH! Easy man. Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 She wants validation that shes not a bad person. Meaning, if she can dump you but youll still talk with her, or be her 'friend, than shes really not a bad person. Guilt weighs heavy on the mind when you leave a relationship. Also, she wants validation that you would still take her back. See, one side effect of NC is that it leaves the person wondering what youre up to and what youre thinking, if anything, about them. If she gets the feeling that you might be with someone else or hate her now, youll get a call just to check in. Regardless of what you say, the very act of answering the phone or calling her back, even if its 2 months later, lets her know that youre still on the hook and dont hate her. As soon as she gets that, she can go on about her life looking for other guys, knowing that old Mr. Fallback seems to still be waiting just in case. SoulBearer, I'll ask for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wow123 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 Gotchya. Thanks for the info. So how do you know if they ever want you back then? Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Gotchya. Thanks for the info. So how do you know if they ever want you back then? Actions speak louder than words. All youve gotten so far are words, which are meaningless. If she actually wanted a second chance, neither hell nor high water would stop her from getting to you. She would make efforts, she would work to improve herself and her views on the relationship, and she would come right out and say 'I want you back, what can I do to fix this?' But you see, shes done none of that. She gave you a carefully worded email that basically says 'feel sorry for me and stay on the hook', and she hopes that she can continue doing whatever she wants while you wait for her to 'figure things out', which I can promise you - when she does, they wont include you. Actions my friend, what is she willing to do? If its nothing but lip service, you know what you need to do. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 Actions speak louder than words. All youve gotten so far are words, which are meaningless. If she actually wanted a second chance, neither hell nor high water would stop her from getting to you. She would make efforts, she would work to improve herself and her views on the relationship, and she would come right out and say 'I want you back, what can I do to fix this?' But you see, shes done none of that. She gave you a carefully worded email that basically says 'feel sorry for me and stay on the hook', and she hopes that she can continue doing whatever she wants while you wait for her to 'figure things out', which I can promise you - when she does, they wont include you. Actions my friend, what is she willing to do? If its nothing but lip service, you know what you need to do. BCCA, you're learning so much here! My prodigy! Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 BCCA, you're learning so much here! My prodigy! Finding this site and people like you have seriously been a blessing. I was in a rut, had no idea what to do, and was all but hell bent on waiting it out and putting myself through hell over and over. You personally have helped me a lot, my man. Your advice is spot on, and you know what youre talking about. I plan on sticking around to return the favor people like you have given me. The best thing you can do when you learn from your mistakes is to try and help others from doing the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Finding this site and people like you have seriously been a blessing. I was in a rut, had no idea what to do, and was all but hell bent on waiting it out and putting myself through hell over and over. You personally have helped me a lot, my man. Your advice is spot on, and you know what youre talking about. I plan on sticking around to return the favor people like you have given me. The best thing you can do when you learn from your mistakes is to try and help others from doing the same thing. Awesome man. Did you ever read "No More Mr Nice Guy" (Glover) ?? Now that you have learned so much, I think the book will touch on some important things that will help you the rest of your life GJ! Link to post Share on other sites
BCCA Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Awesome man. Did you ever read "No More Mr Nice Guy" (Glover) ?? Now that you have learned so much, I think the book will touch on some important things that will help you the rest of your life GJ! I did, and although it was a little hard to read at times (when you can see in writing all the stupid stuff youve been doing, written by a guy youve never met, its almost embarrasing), it really helped my life. I can feel myself making strides to completely rid my mind of the nice guy tendencies that got me where I am in the first place. I tell every guy I meet with any relationship problems to give it a read. Even if youre not a full fleged 'nice guy', chances are that youre doing some of the same stuff and its causing you problems. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I did, and although it was a little hard to read at times (when you can see in writing all the stupid stuff youve been doing, written by a guy youve never met, its almost embarrasing), it really helped my life. I can feel myself making strides to completely rid my mind of the nice guy tendencies that got me where I am in the first place. I tell every guy I meet with any relationship problems to give it a read. Even if youre not a full fleged 'nice guy', chances are that youre doing some of the same stuff and its causing you problems. Excellent. For women, a similar book I've found is "The 10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess up Their Lives" - Dr. Laura. It basically explains all the "He's just not into you" stuff in plain English. You know, the stupid mentality "I can change him" that gets women into trouble (and why they're so attracted to jerks and not balanced, good men). I have been recommending NMMNG for about 3-4 years now. I hope it helps more men stop being doormats! Link to post Share on other sites
BearPower Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Do Girls Ever Change Their Minds? Yes- they want to be single and have freedom, then they go and jump in a rebound relationship claiming they are in love. BITCH ASS WHORE MOTHER ****ING LYING LITTLE SLUT BAG SCUM OF THE EARTH LOW LIFE 2 TIMING **** **** ARSE **** **** **** ***** ****** **** "The 10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess up Their Lives" 1-Split up with SoulBear 2-Split up with SoulBear 3-Split up with SoulBear 4-Split up with SoulBear 5-Split up with SoulBear 6-Split up with SoulBear 7-Split up with SoulBear 8-Split up with SoulBear 9-Split up with SoulBear 10-Split up with SoulBear Link to post Share on other sites
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