dobler33 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I was speaking sarcastically. Of course I don't believe it is always the man's fault but that is how society acts. No matter what wrong a woman does in a marriage she can twist it around to make herself the victim and many people will rally around her. Men these days are damned if they do and damned if they don't. This is why I don't even worry about trying to make women happy. good. don't worry about making "women" happy. each woman is different, as each man is different. worry about making your partner happy - not as a woman but as a human being - and worry about making yourself happy. you being happy and healthy and well-adjusted is bound to please your partner, be they man woman or a fish on a bicycle. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 good. don't worry about making "women" happy. each woman is different, as each man is different. worry about making your partner happy - not as a woman but as a human being - and worry about making yourself happy. you being happy and healthy and well-adjusted is bound to please your partner, be they man woman or a fish on a bicycle. That is what I do but most women in general will never be happy no matter what a man does. A man give her the world and she wants the solar system and then she gets the solar system she wants the universe. After she gets the universe she is still unhappy and she blames him for it all. I happen to be with one of the exceptions but for most women a man shouldn't even bother. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 That is what I do but most women in general will never be happy no matter what a man does. A man give her the world and she wants the solar system and then she gets the solar system she wants the universe. After she gets the universe she is still unhappy and she blames him for it all. I happen to be with one of the exceptions but for most women a man shouldn't even bother. who are these women you're talking about, these "most women"? i don't know anyone like that. it sounds to me like these opinions come from your very specific experience with a very narrow margin of womanhood. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 who are these women you're talking about, these "most women"? i don't know anyone like that. it sounds to me like these opinions come from your very specific experience with a very narrow margin of womanhood. Most women I know. Maybe you live in some rare area where women are not like that but for most men who try and have relationships with women this is what we deal with. Any man on here can relate to this. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Any man on here can relate to this. Word "It wasn't my fault your mom got sick" As heard only two days ago, when trying to work out a property settlement issue. Is there something bigger than the universe? Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Most women I know. Maybe you live in some rare area where women are not like that but for most men who try and have relationships with women this is what we deal with. Any man on here can relate to this. and most women on here can relate to putting up with the entitlement of male priveledge in all its lovely forms within their heterosexual relationships. but i still don't cast all men or even "most men" under that aspersion. i like to take people on face value and allow them to show me how naughty or nice they are all by themselves. and maybe i do live in a rare area - i'm on the west coast in a liberal and tolerant city, and the women i hang out with tend to be strong and self-aware, independent and well-adjusted. maybe you're just attracting the wrong sort of girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 and most women on here can relate to putting up with the entitlement of male priveledge in all its lovely forms within their heterosexual relationships. but i still don't cast all men or even "most men" under that aspersion. i like to take people on face value and allow them to show me how naughty or nice they are all by themselves. and maybe i do live in a rare area - i'm on the west coast in a liberal and tolerant city, and the women i hang out with tend to be strong and self-aware, independent and well-adjusted. maybe you're just attracting the wrong sort of girl. Are you talking about San Francisco? My wife grew up there so maybe women out there are of a better quality. I have lived in New York or New Jersey my entire but the stories I read on here and other boards come from all over the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Word "It wasn't my fault your mom got sick" As heard only two days ago, when trying to work out a property settlement issue. Is there something bigger than the universe? If there were something bigger than the universe women would want it and then be miserable when they get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justxme Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 wow, talk about opening a can of worms. ouch! our opinions are wide and vast, thanks for all the good advice. I think I will go to counseling, I realize that his bad attitude has to go, also he needs to realize that his body is falling part to and if he doesn't help make life a bit easier for me to live with him, than I won't be able to do anything for him, and as it is I'm the only one that he allows to take care of him when he is sick. If he doesn't than I stay alone, and try to get on my feet with out him. I really don't have much of a choice, I can't handle the constant stress anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixRise Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 wow, talk about opening a can of worms. ouch! our opinions are wide and vast, thanks for all the good advice. I think I will go to counseling, I realize that his bad attitude has to go, also he needs to realize that his body is falling part to and if he doesn't help make life a bit easier for me to live with him, than I won't be able to do anything for him, and as it is I'm the only one that he allows to take care of him when he is sick. If he doesn't than I stay alone, and try to get on my feet with out him. I really don't have much of a choice, I can't handle the constant stress anymore. Good for you justxme. I think counseling is an excellent first step for you. Hopefully either your H will realize he needs to start filling some of YOUR needs or your counselor will help you do what you need to do in order to protect yourself from this so called husband. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Yes, with respect and mutual support. And I agree with sharing responsibilities. In the case of that article, the man has all the responsibility of being the provider. That's more than plenty. Again, that applies more to people with families than just a single couple. Ariadne, the article does not take about equal sharing of responsibilities. It does not focus on that. Instead it's all about how to bend over backwards to please/serve a man without any mention of what a man should do to please a woman. Can't you see how very one-sided it is? The whole "provider" thing is overblown. If he didn't provide for himself, he'd be homeless. A man doesn't get a pat on the back for having a job of some sort. He'd have to do that even if he was single. Running a household is a joint responsibility of EVERYONE in that home. A woman that teaches her children that she alone is responsible for taking care of the children and the home has just done society a great disservice. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 A woman that teaches her children that she alone is responsible for taking care of the children and the home has just done society a great disservice. I agree that the father should participate with the children. But to do so when he is not tired, maybe on the weekend he can get to spend a little more time and even help with the care of them. It's an important bonding time. Stress free. And men usually do jobs around the house, like reparing things, lifting stuff, that should do it. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I agree that the father should participate with the children. But to do so when he is not tired, maybe on the weekend he can get to spend a little more time and even help with the care of them. It's an important bonding time. Stress free. And men usually do jobs around the house, like reparing things, lifting stuff, that should do it. I seriously think you are trolling, Ariadne. Just saying crazy stuff to get a reaction out of posters. You can't be seriously saying that mom should have stressed out, tired time with the kids, but dad is exempt? This is funny. I am not taking you seriously at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I seriously think you are trolling, Ariadne. Just saying crazy stuff to get a reaction out of posters. You can't be seriously saying that mom should have stressed out, tired time with the kids, but dad is exempt? This is funny. I am not taking you seriously at all. Well, you have to understand that I also grew up in a very traditional family. I have ingrained the concept of what being a woman is, and what being a man is. This modern idea of men coming home from work to do dishes doesn't make any sense to me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Well, you have to understand that I also grew up in a very traditional family. I have ingrained the concept of what being a woman is, and what being a man is. This modern idea of men coming home from work to do dishes doesn't make any sense to me at all. i was beginning to suspect the same thing, NiD, but that may be because the idea of a woman in 2009 in los angeles thinking this way makes me want to hurl. but, i fear there are women who would agree. there must be, otherwise this stereotypical bile would have been erradicated by now. if we all refused to take this kind of feces it wouldn't happen anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 i was beginning to suspect the same thing, NiD, but that may be because the idea of a woman in 2009 in los angeles thinking this way makes me want to hurl. but, i fear there are women who would agree. there must be, otherwise this stereotypical bile would have been erradicated by now. if we all refused to take this kind of feces it wouldn't happen anymore. But that's just it. This same poster has admitted to being an OW and not thinking anything ill of it. I'm not judging her for having been an OW. But I can't imagine a traditional person taking the "no harm done" stance on infidelity. Unless the W wasn't doing her "wifely duties" as the W of the guy she was with had just had a baby but kept her job (while her worthless H wasn't working but was using Ariadne as a babysitter) Given her past posting history, her stance on this is confusing. And I can't take it seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 But that's just it. This same poster has admitted to being an OW and not thinking anything ill of it. Well, being the OW is one of the most womanly things a woman can do. What better. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Well, being the OW is one of the most womanly things a woman can do. What better. OH. MY. GOD. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Given her past posting history, her stance on this is confusing. Also, My son never did a single chore around the house. I never expected him to. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Also, My son never did a single chore around the house. I never expected him to. Please keep your son away from my daughter. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Also, My son never did a single chore around the house. I never expected him to. GRRRRRREAT. So another girl out there gets to date a guy who expects a maid and a mother. Who can't do his own laundry, load a dishwasher, clean a bathroom, etc. His house is the "bachelor pad" that is absolutely disgusting. And he thinks the girl should just be happy he holds the sofa down and is there playing video games. Fantastic. A male should be able to care for himself and taught the basics of how to do so. A MAN is someone who can. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 There are plenty of women like Adriane out there who on the surface sound like a man's dream but deep down are just as misandrist as any feminst. They don't think that women should have to handle the hard part of independence and want a man to be a provider and take of them. Marrying a woman like this is like marrying Peg Bundy. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I think some roles in a marriage/partnership just happen, not to be sexest or anything, but it just happens naturally. Women tend to be more organized and can multi task better with stuff involving kids, the house, balancing work etc.. Honestly, how many men who are fathers are the ones who organize packing for trips? Making appointments for the kids? Arranging playdates, sleepovers etc? I'm talking when two folks are working, not a stay at home parent. MOST couples that I know, the women cook dinner and the men help clean up their wives do the dishes, or they do them on their own. There's a balance that has to work, a compromise and also there's always one person in any relationship that's better doing one thing than other. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Please keep your son away from my daughter. Thanks. GRRRRRREAT. So another girl out there gets to date a guy who expects a maid and a mother. Maybe. I also bring his food to his room in a tray, with a little tablecloth, napkin, silverware, drinks, bread etc. Every time. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Maybe. I also bring his food to his room in a tray, with a little tablecloth, napkin, silverware, drinks, bread etc. Every time. LOL. You are having entirely too much fun with this. Link to post Share on other sites
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