NoIDidn't Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I commend you for those aspects but they have to be age appropriate, without enabling the dysfunctional aspects. The human mind doesn't even mature until someone's in their early to mid-twenties. With this in mind, how will he be able to fully mature to his potential, without knowing how to navigate life? How do you rationalize giving him no life skills? How will he eat, where will he sleep? Without the basics in life, there is NO happiness. If anything she is saying is true, the only conclusion one can draw is that she can't teach what she herself doesn't know. Beyond that, she's trolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I think that your son would rather have no relationship with his father and dropped out of school than show any respect for any sort of boundaries says a lot about the chances of success he will have at holding down a job or marriage. Well, they do have a relationship the phone mainly. The problem is that at his father's house they have to be in bed at 9pm and so on. With me he is used to sleeping any time he wants, and is not fond of being told when to go to sleep. And like this many other things, so he won't have it. And honestly, he found that going to school for him was a waste of time. He said he should have left much sooner. Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 And honestly, he found that going to school for him was a waste of time. He said he should have left much sooner. Oh well. That changes everything. I applaud his wisdom and clear thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 If anything she is saying is true, the only conclusion one can draw is that she can't teach what she herself doesn't know. Beyond that, she's trolling.Ariadne has the skills to teach. She just doesn't choose to, for whatever her reasons. She's not a stupid woman but most definitely, has chosen a life of fantasy, which is her right to live how she chooses. The only problem is that this has impacted greatly on someone who she's responsible for. In her role as mother, she's absolved herself of any real responsibility towards ensuring for a viable future for her loved one, which is incredibly unfair. She's not trolling. She just is who she is, believing herself to be authentic but realistically speaking, just being a child that refuses to grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Oh well. That changes everything. I applaud his wisdom and clear thinking. (Yeah... right now he is becoming the sex samurai ) Link to post Share on other sites
Soul-Searcher Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 (Yeah... right now he is becoming the sex samurai ) Oh brother...... Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 It's the truth. When men try to make a marriage work with one of these modern and independent women it usually ends up with his balls in her purse and her losing all respect and attraction for him. Most men actually would like a true equal partner but the average modern woman's version of an equal partner means that he does whatever she says and he sits and takes it when she berates him. Deep down though very few women are actually attracted to this type of emasculation. Are you serious??? I live in household with an equal partnership & I'm with carhill here - it's a matter of BOTH spouses doing their part. I do not "order" my husband around nor do I berate him - he's a man, not some recalcitrant dog. Right now, he is down for the count with a horribly injured back & therefore, cannot do all the things that he normally does in the course of helping keep our home running smoothly. So, I have stepped up to the plate & done both our shares of the work, but I will tell you this - if the roles were reversed & I couldn't do anything around the home, you better believe he'd step right up & do whatever was needed. I think you need a reality check. Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Of course it is always the man's fault. No matter what a woman will spin to be the man's fault. That is not how it was in my first marriage but I bet you will find a way to blame me. I did everything and was still made out to be the bad guy. I was even blamed for things that she did to herself that I had nothing to do with. I'm still being blamed for the fact that she's a junkie and I haven't seen her in person since 2006. It's all our fault isn't it? Oh, DO get over yourself, Woggle! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 recalcitrant dog LOL, good one. I'll remember that one. Best wishes for your H's recovery. Back injuries suck. IMO, in a healthy relationship, lists of duties are fluid and flow situationally, with each spouse/partner proactively being mindful of the team's responsibilities and duties. Perfection is generally unattainable but a noble goal Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 That is what I do but most women in general will never be happy no matter what a man does. A man give her the world and she wants the solar system and then she gets the solar system she wants the universe. After she gets the universe she is still unhappy and she blames him for it all. I happen to be with one of the exceptions but for most women a man shouldn't even bother. Wow, bitter much, Woggle? Link to post Share on other sites
HsMomma Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Is that why there is damn near a whole generation of males who are not prepared for life? Men these days are lost and I think a large part of it is because there is nobody in boyhood to teach them how to become a man. Not saying that single mothers can't do a good job but despite what feminists may think a generation of fatherless boys is not a good thing. Then again maybe we should just shove kids out into the world at a young age and let them learn the hard way. I have been on my own since age 16 and I turned out fine.[/QUOTE] Debatable, there, Woggle - debatable! Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I am a well educated, professional woman who doesn't work a job, rather I engage in a fascinating and at times all encompassing career. Tasks like cleaning, cooking and laundry are things I have other people do for me frequently it's a luxury for me to be able to cook (which I love doing) I feel I contribute MORE this way, once thru the value of my professional work and again thru the value of the monies I pay the lovely people who help me to run my life. Running a home in an organized, eco-friendly but stylish manner and doing so frugally is an art form. I couldn't do what my household manager does. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 A huge problem in the US. The black community has been dealing with this problem for a long time. A huge percentage of black men have at some point in their lives been to jail. Many grew up with absent fathers. The sad and horrifying thing is, other communities are catching up.... if not, already. Yet this is what feminists promote as the ideal statement of female independence. Who cares if we have a lost generation of boys as long as women can give the finger to the patriarchy. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Are you serious??? I live in household with an equal partnership & I'm with carhill here - it's a matter of BOTH spouses doing their part. I do not "order" my husband around nor do I berate him - he's a man, not some recalcitrant dog. Right now, he is down for the count with a horribly injured back & therefore, cannot do all the things that he normally does in the course of helping keep our home running smoothly. So, I have stepped up to the plate & done both our shares of the work, but I will tell you this - if the roles were reversed & I couldn't do anything around the home, you better believe he'd step right up & do whatever was needed. I think you need a reality check. Just because you and your husband have this relationship does not mean every couple is like that. Why do people have such a hard time seeing what goes on outside of their little bubble? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Is that why there is damn near a whole generation of males who are not prepared for life? Men these days are lost and I think a large part of it is because there is nobody in boyhood to teach them how to become a man. Not saying that single mothers can't do a good job but despite what feminists may think a generation of fatherless boys is not a good thing. Then again maybe we should just shove kids out into the world at a young age and let them learn the hard way. I have been on my own since age 16 and I turned out fine.[/QUOTE] Debatable, there, Woggle - debatable! I don't deny that I have my issues as most people do but I turned out a whole lot better than most men my age. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Yet this is what feminists promote as the ideal statement of female independence. Who cares if we have a lost generation of boys as long as women can give the finger to the patriarchy. huh??????? woggle, you are so ignorant of the goals and aims of feminism it is beyond laughable. in fact, i feel sorry even laughing at you, because it is clear that you have no idea what you're talking about and perhaps should be pitied for the fact that you seem to see strong women as such an amazing threat to yourself and the world. you have just suggested that the ideal statement of female independence is living without the man who knocked you up because he refuses to be an equal partner in you and your child's life. are you listening to yourself, honey? please, please, please do some research before you make any more of these boneheaded statements. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 huh??????? woggle, you are so ignorant of the goals and aims of feminism it is beyond laughable. in fact, i feel sorry even laughing at you, because it is clear that you have no idea what you're talking about and perhaps should be pitied for the fact that you seem to see strong women as such an amazing threat to yourself and the world. you have just suggested that the ideal statement of female independence is living without the man who knocked you up because he refuses to be an equal partner in you and your child's life. are you listening to yourself, honey? please, please, please do some research before you make any more of these boneheaded statements. There are plenty of feminists who think of fathers as nothing more than disposable sperm donors and celebrate this trend as a sign of progress. It is obvious that feminism is anti-father. I know that not all feminists think this way but until the sane ones openly speak out against the militant misandrists I will continue to group them together. The silence from so called euqlaity minded feminists is deafening. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Just because you and your husband have this relationship does not mean every couple is like that. Why do people have such a hard time seeing what goes on outside of their little bubble? Have you looked in a mirror and said this? Tell that bitter, women-blame-everything-on-men, men-are-whipped-chattel, woe-is-me, person in there, the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 There are plenty of feminists who think of fathers as nothing more than disposable sperm donors and celebrate this trend as a sign of progress. It is obvious that feminism is anti-father. I know that not all feminists think this way but until the sane ones openly speak out against the militant misandrists I will continue to group them together. The silence from so called euqlaity minded feminists is deafening. sorry, no. are you reading feminist publications, feminist writers? are you listening to talks by feminist thinkers? do you have any grasp whatsoever on what is being discussed in current feminist dialogues? i have to assume that the answer is no, because otherwise you would know that "equality-minded feminists" are far more common at this point than the "misandrists". again, stop making yourself look like a jerk. nothing is "obvious" because you are entirely uneducated about what you're evaluating. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 There are plenty of feminists who think of fathers as nothing more than disposable sperm donors and celebrate this trend as a sign of progress. It is obvious that feminism is anti-father. I know that not all feminists think this way but until the sane ones openly speak out against the militant misandrists I will continue to group them together. The silence from so called euqlaity minded feminists is deafening.Then I hold you completely responsible for all the male rapists, pedophiles, abusers and psychopathic killers in the world. Own it! Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Then I hold you completely responsible for all the male rapists, pedophiles, abusers and psychopathic killers in the world. Own it! holla! ouch, wog. she gotcha there. she probably hates men. sounds like most women who disagree with you are man-haters. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 holla! ouch, wog. she gotcha there. she probably hates men. sounds like most women who disagree with you are man-haters. Totally. I'm the biggest feminazi, man-hater on LS. Woggle knows that. I don't need men and convince every woman that they also don't need men. There's a secret society where we've deep frozen sperm from Beckham, Oosterhouse and assorted hot men. With this in mind, why the hell do we need ordinary man? Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Totally. I'm the biggest feminazi, man-hater on LS. Woggle knows that. I don't need men and convince every woman that they also don't need men. There's a secret society where we've deep frozen sperm from Beckham, Oosterhouse and assorted hot men. With this in mind, why the hell do we need ordinary man? fantastic. i'd like to place an order for a hugh laurie, an anthony bourdain and a little hugh jackman on the side, for cuteness. thanks for providing a laugh on what might have been an otherwise humorless day, woggle. keep 'em coming, you just keep looking worse. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Really??:confused:Why is it so sad and horrifying now? good eye, bent. thanks for pointing this out. i think this highlights an erroneous assumption we make that's akin to some of the gendered assumptions i've been wailing on about - as a culture we have come to expect african american communities to be riddled with crime and social ills. it is expected that strong black women will be raising their kids alone because of the "absenteeism" of their partners. why do we assume this, accept it and start to freak out when other communities "catch up"? as though paternal absenteeism was something created by african american families and is now contaminating other communities. tami, this isn't a dig. but i think bent makes a good point about what we expect, and what we will and will not accept in communities of color. Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 as a culture we have come to expect african american communities to be riddled with crime and social ills. Have we ? it is expected that strong black women will be raising their kids alone because of the "absenteeism" of their partners. Is It ? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts