I hate porn. What can I do?

[Shindig]

I don't know about you, but I'd rather eat chocolate than have sex or masturbate. Just kidding.

 

Sex isn't just about orgasm (which is pretty much the only good thing about masturbating... other than blindness and hairy palms ). Relationships aren't just about sex. Biologically speaking, we form monogamous relationships so that we can raise children. Subsequently we're hard wired to bond emotionally with a person so that we can be in proximity for a long enough period of time to raise a child. Biology aside, psychology is even stranger.

 

Why people have relationships at all is beyond me too. I'm still angry at the last jerk(s) and strangely I still want another one.

[sw1911ct]

I see two issues going on. First is the insecurity which you have acknowledged. You have labeled yourself as ugly and plain. I have no way of knowing if that is true, but I know that you are not so ugly and plain that you were completely unsuccessful in finding a relationship. So clearly you are not "scare small children" kind of ugly. I suspect you are much harder on yourself than is justified by the reality, unfortunately many, perhaps even most women are, even those who actually are "all that". The insecurity, though, is founded in a fear of loss. Deep down, whether you realize it or not, your reaction to porn is because you are afraid your SO will ultimately leave you because of things he learns from porn.

 

I am not going to tell you that could never happen, as I have no knowledge of the state of your relationship. However if it is truly strong, porn is not a threat. You see, he already knows there are women with bigger boobs, or better looks, or younger, or whatever it is you perceive about yourself that could cause him to leave. He already knows there are women who are enthusiastic about some sexual practices that you will not participate in. If he is willing to leave your relationship to pursue any of that, he will do so regardless of whether or not he views porn. Likewise, if he is NOT willing to chase any of that in lieu of having you, that won't change either.

 

Are you with him because of the size of his penis? Would learning that some guys have a bigger one cause you to pursue that? Same deal.

 

The other issue I see is some deep seeded issues with sexuality itself. Your use of sex-negative language (filth, whores, etc) and strongly negative reaction to the very concept of sex including more than just one M and one F indicate to me that you harbor some very negative feelings to sexuality outside of the vary narrow parameters that you were taught was "acceptable". I'm not suggesting that you are a narrow-minded prude who should just get over yourself and go out there and have some threesomes, but I do think if you were to allow yourself to not be so rigid and negative about anything that's even remotely outside the box, you may find it will help you to realize that your rigid rules are part of the problem. When you can so casually label erotica as filth, somewhere inside you associate sex with filth, and that can't be healthy.

 

Great points in this post but I have to say that someone who chooses a username like sadandugly is probably leaning way more to one side of this than the other...

[missdependant]

What's the point? It seems that without sex, all we'd have is a friendship. So what makes me better than porn, just so I don't give up completely? He doesn't need an emotional connection, at least not from sex. I can give him an emotional connection through words. So what makes sex with the same old girlfriend better than the alluring world of porn? Nothing, probably.

 

It is sad that you feel that way. If you truly cannot differentiate between intimate love and friendship, you are better off single, or dating a man who doesn't watch porn. Which I hate to tell you, you probably WON'T ever find. Men will always watch porn, there will always be sexy women out there, and men will always want variety. It wouldn't matter if you were Catherine Zeta-Jones; they'd still want to look at other people, they'd still want to masturbate.

 

You seem to believe that sex is the only thing that makes a relationship a relationship, or bring people together.. but it really isn't. It can be a part of it.. but it's not the only form of intimacy.

 

I am a girl and I watch porn. It doesn't mean I am trying to replace my boyfriend, it doesn't mean he's not good enough, it doesn't mean his dick isn't big enough; in fact I don't know what I would do without him, it simply means I'm enjoying some porn. I watch people perform in porn, not because I want a relationship with them, not because I want to marry them, not because I want children with them.. this is what my boyfriend is for. Porn is nothing but a tool. Same with my boyfriend. He doesn't watch it because he wants to leave me behind for one of these women, he watches it because it helps him when he jacks off. And that's fine. How, where and when he jacks off is HIS business. If he wants to use porn, then go for it.

 

I know I have NO right to tell him how to masturbate.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think porn can have a destructive effect on some relationships. The article below is somewhat related and provides some support for that point of view.

 

I understand the emotional reactions that porn can cause, but I agree that you need to devote some energy to improving your self-image, OP.

 

Source: http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2007/03/30/science-flirt.html (emphasis mine)

 

Flirting women affect how men view mates: study

Last Updated: Friday, March 30, 2007 | 3:44 PM ET

CBC News

Men are more likely to think less of their partner after exposure to flirtatious women, according to a study published this month that puts a new twist on human mating behaviour.

 

The paper, which appears in the March issue of the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, is the first to show that one woman's behaviour can affect how a man views other women, including his partner.

 

Previous studies had shown men rated their partners lower after they were exposed to images of attractive women, said lead author and University of Lethbridge graduate student Sandeep Mishra.

 

While Mishra and two colleagues from McMaster University were unable to replicate those exact results, they were able to show that flirtatious behaviour could produce a similar reaction in men.

 

In one of the two experiments, the 87 male and 66 female test subjects watched a video of members of the opposite sex being interviewed and asked questions about politics and other non-sexual subjects.

 

Unbeknownst to the subjects, some of the interviewees were asked to behave in a more socially open manner by looking directly into the camera, smiling often and acting as if the viewer was the centre of attention. Other subjects viewed the interviewees behaving in a bored and disinterested manner.

 

The subjects were then asked to rate the attractiveness of their own partners, or, if they were single, to rate the attractiveness of other members of the opposite sex.

 

Men's ratings of their current partners and unattached men's rating of other women were both lower if they had viewed the more socially open videotape interviewee.

 

The relative openness of male interviewees had no effect on women subjects.

 

Results support evolutionary theory

 

Mishra told CBC News Online the results support theories of evolutionary psychology on the different ways in which men and women historically looked for partners.

 

"Women are less likely to respond to signals of intent because they are more exposed to them than men are," said Mishra. "Historically females also benefit most from finding one high quality partner, so their opinion of their partner is less likely to be swayed by exposure to an attractive male."

 

Reproductive success for men, on the other hand, has historically been contingent on finding and mating with a large number of females, said Mishra.

 

But he cautions this behaviour, while fitting with evolutionary psychological theories, does not determine how an individual will or should act.

 

"This doesn't mean that what is natural in biological terms is necessarily good," he said. "People still have the ability to make choices."

 

He suggests more awareness of these tendencies can be useful for people in relationships.

 

"When a man goes out and experiences these twinges of feelings, he should know there is a reason for it, and that it may not be because he is unhappy," he said.

 

"These behaviours can be superseded and don't have to shape the way we behave."

[optimisticpessimist]

I feel pretty much the same way about porn. I know that it's mostly because of my own jealousy and poor body image. I am extremely lucky in that I found a guy who is very cerebral and doesn't have any interest in magazines or movies. I wouldn't be surprised if he reads dirty stories, but I'm ok with that...it's the idea of him actually looking at hot naked chicks that bugs me. I dated a guy for 3 years that was really into porn...had a bunch of magazines and VHS tapes. I hated it. We argued about it all the time. Once he got so mad at me he threw the entire box out the window of our apt!

 

I have seen a few people make suggestions about watching it with your bf, and all I know is that didn't work for me. I have tried it a few times with a few bf's, and it just made me uncomfortable and angry. I will say this however...if I am alone, and left to my own devices, I have looked at free porn online...and only girl/girl porn. Men in porn is just gross. I just don't like my men getting off on another "superior" looking woman. Plain and simple.

[Eoweniel]

I know I am a very attractive, outright hot woman. Still I hate porn more than the devil itself. I think it's still partially about insecurity, but in a different way - I feel my man shouldn't NEED let alone WANT to watch other naked women just "to get off" (that's all guys say it means), when I am right there to webcam with or give him videos anytime he wants.

 

In my opinion, porn is just another way of "cheating", only in a more fishy and subtle way which means the partner can get away with it. And the poor girls "accept" it. Sure, good on ya - but doesn't it irk you that, IF you put so much effort into pleasing him visually (provided you do. I know many women don't), that he still likes to watch other naked women having sex?

 

I am most certainly not a prude, not when it comes to sex or sexuality. And I am totally okay with porn if one is with a partner who is very "lazy" in the sexual department, or if you happen to be "settling" for a partner you aren't very sexually/visually pleased with. But porn, in a relationship where you're extreeeeemely attracted to your partner in all ways and find them more than fullfilling, the desire to watch it shouldn't be there.

 

My man is right here on the forums, I think he can correct me if I am wrong, but... He knows how I feel about it. He knows I can even get obsessed with it at times because while I KNOW that he has no interest in watching it, I keep thinking that the interest might have been gained during the time I didn't ask if he's still watching it. I've been trying to come to terms with trying to accept porn but I just can't. I don't see any place for it in a relationship that's sexually fullfilling.

 

STILL, I don't outright forbid him to watch. I don't see a point in forbidding him to watch. Why not? Because the whole point is that he shouldn't WANT to watch it on his own, in hope that what I provide is more than enough to cover up the fact that he has to "get off". If he stops only because it's hurting me, that means that the desire to watch is/might still be there. In short, I guess you could say that for ME, the desire to watch is as bad, if not worse, as the actual watching of porn itself. I mean, if I tied my man to a chair and forced him to watch it and he obviously didn't enjoy it and got upset with me, I wouldn't be mad/upset at all, even though he technically DID watch it.

 

BUT, IF he did, I still wish he told me. Despite all my suspicion and despite all the unwarranted crap I've given him for it, I still think I believe he doesn't watch it deep down inside. I guess this has resulted in me having built up some kind of...hope in him. Hope, that I am so good that porn is completely uninteresting/irrelevant to him. If he changes his mind and decides that porn has some relevance after all, I would very much appreciate to be informed of the change. But unfortunately, I have so many issues with this that I've developed fears of him having "changed" overnight, without telling me. I feel so bad for it, and am going to force myself to trust that IF something changes, he'll inform me and I won't have to pester him for it.

 

I do get rather crazy when it comes to porn. So you're not alone. And fyi, no, I'm not one of those feminists who finds that it's degrading to women or whatever. Sexuality is free, woop de-doo! I just wish the ****** will stay away from my man, and he from them.

Sorry for the long post, I just had to rant. Anyone is free to comment/ask questions.

[missdependant]

I feel my man shouldn't NEED let alone WANT...

 

Who are you to say what he SHOULD and should not NEED or WANT? It's not just a security issue, it's also a control issue at that point.

[missdependant]

 

doesn't it irk you that he still likes to watch other naked women having sex?

 

No. It really doesn't.

 

I don't see any place for it in a relationship that's sexually fullfilling.

 

What difference would it make if he were watching porn or checking out hot women in rated PG-13 movies? He's always going to find other women attractive. Believe it or not, you're not the only attractive woman in the world, and he has every right to think this.

 

Because the whole point is that he shouldn't WANT to watch it on his own

 

Again.. it's not up to you what he wants or needs.

 

 

 

Even if he tells you he doesn't watch it, chances are that he DOES watch it. He just hides it from you.

[Eoweniel]

No. It really doesn't.

 

What? Your qoute doesn't quite tell me what you're trying to prove.

 

 

 

What difference would it make if he were watching porn or checking out hot women in rated PG-13 movies? He's always going to find other women attractive. Believe it or not, you're not the only attractive woman in the world, and he has every right to think this.

 

There's a difference between finding someone attractive, and sexually attractive, atleast to me. And my partner describes it the same way.

Finding someone attractive means you can notice that they obviously ARE attractive, but you leave it at that. No "Oh MAN, I'd like to hit that *Hardon*". And porn DOES cause hard-ons that I am aware of. So obviously, yes, it's sexual attraction to some degree, even if very weak.

 

 

 

Again.. it's not up to you what he wants or needs.

 

Course not. I am just stating my opinion of what I want in a partner - is that such a major issue? I just can't be compatible with someone who wants/desires others. He doesn't have to want or need what I tell him to. But since he's already clearly expressed he DOESN'T want/need these things, a sudden change in that would be somewhat two-sided.

 

 

 

Even if he tells you he doesn't watch it, chances are that he DOES watch it. He just hides it from you.

 

Course. All guys are addicted to Jenna Jameson cause she's ALL that. So addicted that they have to hide the porn from their dumb GF's right?

No, there actually are some decent guys out there, believe it or not. He's right here on the forums - ask him yourself.

[AlektraClementine]

I'm okay with you not wanting a partner that watches porn. That's cool. But to refer to your man as a "decent man" because he doesn't watch porn implies that men who do, are indecent. Maybe you were referring to him being truthful, idk.

 

To chime in....I watch porn. Never because I want someone different than my partner. My dude watches porn. He has a girl on girl fetish. I don't do girl on girl. He watches because he likes it and it turns him on. He's never going to cheat on me or stray in an attempt to get girl on girl action in real life. Does his watching this affect me? Not in the least. If he wanted to marry a couple of faked out lesbians, I wouldn't have a ring on my finger. Better put, he's not going to cheat on me because he's a decent man.

 

BTW- men get hard-ons when they watch fully clothed women in PG-13 movies sometimes, too. Some guys get hard-ons watching CNN news anchors if that happens to turn them on. We women, simply cannot police the blood flow to a man's genitalia. Won't work.

 

Another point - It sounds (correct me if I'm wrong) like you think that you must sexually and visually stimulate your man to keep him from cheating. While I agree that sex is important, I think it's important to point out one simple fact.

 

Crappy men cheat

Decent men don't

[Eoweniel]

I'm okay with you not wanting a partner that watches porn. That's cool. But to refer to your man as a "decent man" because he doesn't watch porn implies that men who do, are indecent. Maybe you were referring to him being truthful, idk.

 

To chime in....I watch porn. Never because I want something different than my partner. My dude watches porn. He has a girl on girl fetish. I don't do girl on girl. He watches because he likes it and it turns him on. He's never going to cheat on me or stray in an attempt to get girl on girl action in real life. Does his watching this affect me? Not in the least. If he wanted to marry a couple of faked out lesbians, I wouldn't have a ring on my finger. Better put, he's not going to cheat on me because he's a decent man.

 

BTW- men get hard-ons when they watch fully clothed women in PG-13 movies sometimes, too. Some guys get hard-ons watching CNN news anchors if that happens to turn them on. We women, simply cannot police the blood flow to a man's genitalia. Won't work.

 

Another point - It sounds (correct me if I'm wrong) like you think that you must sexually and visually stimulate your man to keep him from cheating. While I agree that sex is important, I think it's important to point out one simple fact.

 

Crappy men cheat

Decent men don't

 

Hah, I actually thought of that right after I posted. I figured I'd get to clarify if someone pointed it out. No, ofcourse men who watch porn aren't indecent. I meant something more along the lines of; he's truthful, as in decent, and doesn't lie to me. Lying to me, is indecent.

 

Men can get hard-ons when they see or do...whatever. In most cases, it isn't even sexual. BUT, since porn obviously IS sexual and one of those things where it's obvious why he gets a hardon, that's something I have a problem with.

 

I don't mind that you or your man watch porn. Good on you! Trust me, it's alot more relieving to be able to have a relationship like that - and one less thing to worry about. But that's just not how I work.

Sure it's okay to watch something cause "it turns him on and he likes it" but to me, that just seems kind of...inadequate. That's like, if I were a burglar and someone asks me why I rob people, I say "Well, I like it, and it's exciting". To clarify before anyone else points it out; NO, watching porn doesn't make you a criminal or bad, the example I used has nothing to do with porn.

 

Oh, and what made me laugh the most (not being mean, it just made me laugh cause it's endearing)... No, I give him all the visuals because I love to. I love showing off my bod to him, whenever, where ever, however. I love how it turns BOTH of us on, so why not do it? So, it's not like I feel forced to "put out".

[GorillaTheater]

Men can get hard-ons when they see or do...whatever. In most cases, it isn't even sexual.

 

Not necessarily true in my case, but it's possible I'm in the minority...

 

In any event, which poster is your guy? Random curiosity on my part.

[Eoweniel]

Well, men can get hard-ons in the morning as a result of having to pee, AFAIK. Same with being on the bus. The vibrations cause a hard-on. Those were just examples.

 

And um... It's Bejita463. I hope he doesn't get angry with me for having pointed that out.

[GorillaTheater]

Ah, thanks. Haven't "spoken" with him, per se, but he seems like a good guy.

[sadandugly]

I know I am a very attractive, outright hot woman. Still I hate porn more than the devil itself. I think it's still partially about insecurity, but in a different way - I feel my man shouldn't NEED let alone WANT to watch other naked women just "to get off" (that's all guys say it means), when I am right there to webcam with or give him videos anytime he wants.

 

You see, that's the difference. I know I'm NOT a very attractive, outright hot woman. I've been told so, by several men. Well, boys (when I was back in high school). But I still don't get any positive feedback when I'm out, even when I put a lot of effort into looking good.

 

Not saying that you have it easier, I mean, I totally understand your disliking of porn. But at least YOU KNOW and FEEL hot and attractive. You probably get a lot of positive feedback. I only get it from my boyfriend, just because he knows I'm insecure and that he "has to" make me feel good.

 

I guess men just say that because well, they produce a lot more testosterone than us, so it is kind of just a biological instinct. And that's what also creates conflict for me. It's their nature... and I feel unable to accept that nature!

 

The other day we were in Psychology class and the teacher started talking about how society has changed and that many instincts we used to have are now gone, and that as we have evolved, we now control them, etc. So of course one could argue that men should control it and just because it's natural (like aggressive instincts) doesn't mean it should be ok. But still, I feel like I'm the one with the problem, because I should be the one to accept men's nature. It's been said many, many times that it's a harmless thing, and I guess it is, to an extent.

 

I guess what bothers me the most about porn is the fantasy aspect, the obsession with perfection. Maybe if porn actresses and actors were normal looking, average and not too unrealistic looking, in not too unrealistic settings, I'd be more comfortable with it. But I guess then porn would lose the whole appeal? And that's what upsets me. That the very thing that makes it so hot is that women in it are soooo perfect that they're unattainable and therefore "hotter" and that the things they do are also soooo "unattainable" that they're better... it's like real women are so inadequate that men need an "escape" into the fantasy land of what they would really like to experience... the unattainable... I don't know if you understand it? Like when he watches porn and fantasizes, it makes me feel like he was a famished person dreaming about eating a juicy steak, while all he has to eat are some cheap crackers.

 

The unattainable... it's like "let him dream about paradise, it's the closest he'll get to it, why be such a bitch and forbid him of it? You will never be paradise, so let him dream about it, don't be selfish!". I want to be paradise, I want to be steak, I want to be able to fulfill all his fantasies and not be the boring "same 'ole, same 'ole...". I do make an effort, don't think I'm lazy in bed, it's just that there are things that I can't do, and I wish he was satisfied with what I'm able to provide and not wish for threesomes and all that stuff that is probably "cooler and hotter" in his mind than what we do. I feel boring when he looks at porn. I don't have the fantastic body, nor the fantasy aspect. It makes me feel boring!

 

Also, that he only needs to look at it to get turned on, while I have to put an effort into licking him, kissing him, showing interes (being "into it") in order for him to get turned on. While they only have to get naked on a stupid screen and that's all it takes. Why do I have to make such a huge effort in order to please him, while they only fake orgasms while naked and that's all it takes?! We have to be "into it" or else guys don't like it, yet their beloved porn stars FAKE orgasms, they know they're faking and these women look so bored they don't look like they're "into it"... yet just by watching it, it's so hot it's such a turn on, blah, blah...

[Eoweniel]

You see, that's the difference. I know I'm NOT a very attractive, outright hot woman. I've been told so, by several men. Well, boys (when I was back in high school). But I still don't get any positive feedback when I'm out, even when I put a lot of effort into looking good.

 

<Rest of the amazing post here>

 

I completely agree with every little thing that's been said here. And I guess I got a little bit too carried away with my confidence - I don't really get any positive response other than from my boyfriend or other people who it's "expected" from, either. I have a handicap - an eye disease, that many have found has made me a laughing stock over the years. So that leaves me even more unconfident. Atop of that, I've been trying to put on some weight over the years but failed miserably.

 

I guess you summarized all my thoughts much better than I could, myself. I never meant to say I THINK he should do/want/desire this and that. It was just an attempt at trying to express where I'm coming from, with my dislike to porn. It works like that in Sweden, using a phrase like that. I guess it doesn't in english, and sounds too controlling. I'm not a native english speaker, so I guess it's valid that many jumped my gun because I expressed myself in a bad way...

 

I guess it could be argued that my whole stance towards it is controlling, but I've never outright done anything to prevent partners from watching it. I hate how everyone tells me that it's just "natural", and that these are issues I should have to deal with and accept, and that I have to grow up and let the man have his perfect women, because I on my own am apparently not enough for him. If I were, WHY would he want to watch others? That'd only be a waste of time. It's exactly like you put it. All the regard, and respect should be given towards the one who wants to view porn these days, it seems. :/

Well, I can't just get over something that bothers me so deeply. He can watch it all he wants, but I doubt I'm going to be able to hide that it's going to make me cry and probably bash my head against a wall.

 

I realize by now, most people think "Get therapy and grow up", but... No. It's just some thoughts that will linger. If a guy has me, and chooses to watch others, it basically means I could be the most drop-dead gorgeous woman in the world, but ultimately the porn would be better somehow so not even that would matter.

I realize what most people are going to say now; "You get the best of both worlds!", but a statement like that just adds on to the trouble... Why could I alone, not be the best? Why do I have to share "1st place" or even runner-up with porn?

 

ugh. I hate porn. Death to it.

[AlektraClementine]

You're too focused on the "looks" aspect of porn. For most men and women who watch it, it's about what they are DOING that gets them off.

 

I watch it too. I'm not attracted to the people in porn. I'm getting off on what they are doing. You're man is probably not much different.

 

Your biggest problem is that you aren't even willing to accept that your boyfriend finds you beautiful. You think he's just telling you what you want to hear. Why on earth would he be with you if he didn't find you attractive?

 

My guess is that porn and your dislike of it is nothing more than an outlet (a scapegoat) for your severe insecurities. It's not porn. It's your self esteem.

[Eoweniel]

You're too focused on the "looks" aspect of porn. For most men and women who watch it, it's about what they are DOING that gets them off.

 

I know this post wasn't at me, but I am just curious... If you have a partner who is willing to, why not make a porno of your own? Either with both of you, or just a solo session.

Wouldn't that replace the want for porn for many people if you, as you put it, get off to what they're *doing*?

[sadandugly]

You're too focused on the "looks" aspect of porn. For most men and women who watch it, it's about what they are DOING that gets them off.

 

I watch it too. I'm not attracted to the people in porn. I'm getting off on what they are doing. You're man is probably not much different.

 

Your biggest problem is that you aren't even willing to accept that your boyfriend finds you beautiful. You think he's just telling you what you want to hear. Why on earth would he be with you if he didn't find you attractive?

 

My guess is that porn and your dislike of it is nothing more than an outlet (a scapegoat) for your severe insecurities. It's not porn. It's your self esteem.

 

 

I do focus on what they do, they do threesomes, I can't do threesomes. There. They make weird positions for which I'd have to take intensive Yoga classes to be able to flex like that.

 

Plus, so what if it bothers me that they're so attractive? They are, aren't they? He may think I'm beautiful, but he has told me "they are hotter, because they have to be, they are a fantasy, they can't look like normal women, they have better bodies than average". And I'm average. See? That's why it upsets me that they're perfect.

 

Maybe you get off on what they're doing, but don't you think that men find the looks of the women a factor of why it's such a turn on? I mean, imagine a porn video of a threesome. 2 gorgeous, slim, busty women are giving it all to a man. Now imagine that 2 average looking, fat women with small breasts are doing the same to the same guy. Which video do you think guys would think it's hotter? See my point?

[AlektraClementine]

I know this post wasn't at me, but I am just curious... If you have a partner who is willing to, why not make a porno of your own? Either with both of you, or just a solo session.

Wouldn't that replace the want for porn for many people if you, as you put it, get off to what they're *doing*?

 

Very good point. Matter of fact, my fiance and I have made lots of porn together. It's fun to put on a sexy outfit and do stuff that's a little crazy. I wouldn't say it's "replaced" the porn we watch. Let me ask you a frank masturbation questions. You can answer if you like. Have you been using the same fantasies since the time you learned how to do it? Or do you switch it up. For me, some fantasies get old and I think about new and different things. Same with porn. I guess if my fiance and I had the time to make porn on a weekly basis, sure it'd be different. I can't watch the same thing over and over again.

 

 

But yes, if you can do it...it's a totally healthy way to express yourselves sexually.

 

To the OP - why don't you ask your man his what his dirtiest fantasy is, and act it out for him? Ask him to talk to you about porn. Ask him what turns him on about it.

[AlektraClementine]

 

Maybe you get off on what they're doing, but don't you think that men find the looks of the women a factor of why it's such a turn on? I mean, imagine a porn video of a threesome. 2 gorgeous, slim, busty women are giving it all to a man. Now imagine that 2 average looking, fat women with small breasts are doing the same to the same guy. Which video do you think guys would think it's hotter? See my point?

 

 

Depends on what they're doing. haha. Honestly. There are plenty of vids with average looking girls. There's a huge market for amateur porn. My fiance loves it. They are very "average" looking.

 

I can't say I'm too thrilled with your guy telling you that porn chicks are hotter. That's kind of an ********* thing to say.

[Eoweniel]

Very good point. Matter of fact, my fiance and I have made lots of porn together. It's fun to put on a sexy outfit and do stuff that's a little crazy. I wouldn't say it's "replaced" the porn we watch. Let me ask you a frank masturbation questions. You can answer if you like. Have you been using the same fantasies since the time you learned how to do it? Or do you switch it up. For me, some fantasies get old and I think about new and different things. Same with porn. I guess if my fiance and I had the time to make porn on a weekly basis, sure it'd be different. I can't watch the same thing over and over again.

 

 

But yes, if you can do it...it's a totally healthy way to express yourselves sexually.

 

When I have a partner, I fantasize about doing various things with that partner, and nobody else. I'm monogamous til the point guys find it boring, I guess.

 

But yeah, I am talking about making vids not just once, but perhaps once a month or twice. Vids, clips, hell even a webcam session if you have 2 PCs. I'm just saying, porn CAN be made unneccessary til the point where it gives you pretty much nothing. If a guy has a GF like this, shouldn't he be very happy?

 

---

 

Also,

 

To clarify my pair of long posts further up in the previous page, I want to say that whatever examples I might be using, or the questions "Why is he this, why should be that" aren't directed at anyone. Just general questions I would ask any partner who wanted to watch it, or questions I would ask people to better explain the point(s) I'm trying to make.

[AlektraClementine]

Also - there will ALWAYS be hotter girls. There are plenty of girls that are hotter than me. If my fiance wants to go for it, he can. Good riddance. But if I spend my life worrying constantly about who's hotter than me, I'll never be happy.

 

Also - you're not the only one who needs 3 years of yoga to contort into some ridiculous position.

 

I say, if my fiance wants a contortionist, go scope out cirque du soleil while I go find a normal guy.

[gopher]

Very good point. Matter of fact, my fiance and I have made lots of porn together. It's fun to put on a sexy outfit and do stuff that's a little crazy. I wouldn't say it's "replaced" the porn we watch. Let me ask you a frank masturbation questions. You can answer if you like. Have you been using the same fantasies since the time you learned how to do it? Or do you switch it up. For me, some fantasies get old and I think about new and different things. Same with porn. I guess if my fiance and I had the time to make porn on a weekly basis, sure it'd be different. I can't watch the same thing over and over again.

 

 

But yes, if you can do it...it's a totally healthy way to express yourselves sexually.

 

To the OP - why don't you ask your man his what his dirtiest fantasy is, and act it out for him? Ask him to talk to you about porn. Ask him what turns him on about it.

 

I agree with this, communicating about sex can solve a lot of issues.

 

On the porn thing, when I'm not dating anyone I'll watch it, but when I'm dating or in a relationship with someone, they are enough for me. But different strokes for different folks...pun intended.

[AlektraClementine]

When I have a partner, I fantasize about doing various things with that partner, and nobody else. I'm monogamous til the point guys find it boring, I guess.

 

But yeah, I am talking about making vids not just once, but perhaps once a month or twice. Vids, clips, hell even a webcam session if you have 2 PCs. I'm just saying, porn CAN be made unneccessary til the point where it gives you pretty much nothing. If a guy has a GF like this, shouldn't he be very happy?

 

 

I don't think that makes you boring. It just differentiates you from other types of women. Let me clarify. Porn isn't a necessity for me or my guy. It's just something we like. We're just as monogamous. My guy has a girl who does all sorts of cool sexual stuff with him. And yes, he's very happy. He also watches porn like a 13 year old.