Full Of Hope Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Mayday, Mayday! We're off track. MM had a bad therapy session today and decided to make a move. He's talking to his wife as I write this. You probably think I should be happy...but no, this is not the case. My confidence came from the fact that we followed our plan to a T. Yes, I'm aware it was "Plan D", but still...we didn't waver. The plan was only changed when she found out...and when she found out again. He's flying by the seat of his pants because his therapist pissed him off. This is scary. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 So what does this mean to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 I have no idea. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Mayday, Mayday! We're off track. MM had a bad therapy session today and decided to make a move. He's talking to his wife as I write this. You probably think I should be happy...but no, this is not the case. My confidence came from the fact that we followed our plan to a T. Yes, I'm aware it was "Plan D", but still...we didn't waver. The plan was only changed when she found out...and when she found out again. He's flying by the seat of his pants because his therapist pissed him off. This is scary. I suppose this is the part that is scaring you? How did the therapist piss him off? What do you anticipate his reaction will be? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 The plan was only changed when she found out...and when she found out again. He is dicking his wife around and sadly, he's dicking you around as well. I have no idea, just like everyone else, but my guess is his T is probably pushing him to stay with his wife and work it out, break it off with you, that is, if this therapist knows about you and the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 Yes...that's the scary part. He started to tell his kids this week. When they started to get upset, he stopped...decided to save it for another day. He explained this to his therapist, and she said "I know you love her (me), but maybe you don't love her enough." Therapy is once a week for 1 hour. Today it was almost 2 hours. He was very upset with her. He went straight home to talk to his wife. I have no idea how that will go. It's not time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 I have no idea, just like everyone else, but my guess is his T is probably pushing him to stay with his wife and work it out, break it off with you, that is, if this therapist knows about you and the affair. Actually, no. She's a former OW. Lucky me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Give him time and space to figure this out. Don't pressure or push him. Just be prepared that he could very well do some thinking, change his mind and not go through with this, especially since he's scared already of telling the kids. My concern for you is, he is leading you on and you really have no way of verifying all that he is telling you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 So, this T lets her personal feelings take over? You mean he's encouraging her to end his marriage and be with you because his T is a former OW? That's so not professional! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Full Of Hope Posted June 13, 2009 Author Share Posted June 13, 2009 I wouldn't say "encouraging"...but she's definitely not against me. Link to post Share on other sites
dobler33 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I wouldn't say "encouraging"...but she's definitely not against me. sorry, honey, but in my state a therapist letting a one hour session go to two hours and the fact that she has divulged her romantic and sexual past to her patient is enough to get her license reviewed. a little scary. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Give him time and space to figure this out. Don't pressure or push him. Just be prepared that he could very well do some thinking, change his mind and not go through with this, especially since he's scared already of telling the kids. My concern for you is, he is leading you on and you really have no way of verifying all that he is telling you.i agree, with you wwiup. Sometime mm creates drama to change the coarse and get OFF the plan! Its another tactic for stalling, or retreating. And flying by the seat of his pants,,, never works well. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 This reminds me of another thread I read recently. The OW was just convinced that the MM didn't love his wife and was only going back to her for the kids. Yeah, right. Don't mean to say I told you so, but that was awfully fast. I thought I was going to have to wait months before I told you that. But yeah, sorry. Please form your own life now. Expect more for yourself will you? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Why would a therapist divulge her personal life to a patient? How come they don't show that on TV?! Have I been watching the wrong TV series?? Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 This reminds me of another thread I read recently. The OW was just convinced that the MM didn't love his wife and was only going back to her for the kids. Yeah, right. Don't mean to say I told you so, but that was awfully fast. I thought I was going to have to wait months before I told you that. But yeah, sorry. Please form your own life now. Expect more for yourself will you? Actually alot of MM's DO stay with their wives FOR the kids. It's just less scary than the fear of ending up alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Actually alot of MM's DO stay with their wives FOR the kids. It's just less scary than the fear of ending up alone. If that's what you believe, then so be it. It's nonsense. I've never been a OW but I've been with single men who left their wives and kept their kids close to them. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Why would a therapist divulge her personal life to a patient? How come they don't show that on TV?! Have I been watching the wrong TV series?? I've had three therapists who's done that. Apparently their idea of good psychological help was to make the situation appear on equal grounds like they can relate to you. Yes...that's the scary part. He started to tell his kids this week. When they started to get upset, he stopped...decided to save it for another day. He explained this to his therapist, and she said "I know you love her (me), but maybe you don't love her enough." Therapy is once a week for 1 hour. Today it was almost 2 hours. He was very upset with her. He went straight home to talk to his wife. I have no idea how that will go. It's not time. FOH, are you ready to move on yet? People who continuously avoid confrontations are less likely to step up to the plate and proceed. What makes you think he will tell his kids? I'm not trying to be mean, but " saving for another day" doesn't sound specific in any sense of the sentence. Just like how he never gave you any specifics to his therapy sessions, divorce proceedings, living arrangements, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Sweet Jesus, Fire in the hole. Red Alert, Red Alert. You go , girl. A man will move mountains for the woman he loves. Banzai!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 If that's what you believe, then so be it. It's nonsense. I've never been a OW but I've been with single men who left their wives and kept their kids close to them.Touche, Its not as black and white as you think, You got lucky, you found Strong single men, But there are plenty of WEAK Azzz men out there too. Count your blessings Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 his life is full of chaos... you know it. he will constantly throw out all the chaos so that you have good reasons to stay emotionally attached to his antics. there will always be some crisis - in some way shape or form... that he's trying to reel you back in with - and to get a reaction from you. give him the opposite of what he's looking for and expecting. NO REACTION! something like... "that's too bad for you - what do you plan to do about it?" makes him accountable for the drama he creates (and there will always be plenty) and also makes it clear that you don't want to be involved in it - and lets him understand that it is HIS CRAP to take care of - not yours. it will continue - unless of course you remove yourself from all the drama until his divorce is FINAL - then agree to see him - after the divorce is final - thus keeping all of this yuk at bay until he is available, emotionally and physically. if he wants you that badly - he'll figure out a way to be with you. in the mean time - stay away... it will only get more painful in the interim. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Deleted my post Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Seems to me your going to need a lot of tissues. Unless you are actually there with him, experiencing things with him everything he says or claims to do could just be fabrications. Cheaters lie, big time. Or, you're his one and only and will do whatever it takes to be with you. Which is the most plausible? I know what my answer is but I'm sure you see the latter. Like I say, buy boxes and boxes of tissue...you're going to need them. The realization that you're not "all that" is what will hurt you the most. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Therapy is once a week for 1 hour. Today it was almost 2 hours. Let's hope he isn't intending to make her his OW too. He could be gaslighting both you and his wife. Wouldn't be the first time a MM did that. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 I know I am going to come off like a total biatch, but I'm not really caring at the moment. Can I just stop and point out just how much damage these kids are going through because all three of the adults in this relationship are too spineless or selfish to make a damn decision and stick with it? These children are getting mixed messages all over the place. Dad's here, no he's not, dad's telling us he's leaving, wait no he's not. Mom's freaking out, no she's not everything's normal. And the OP is contributing to this behavior by sticking around and being available. Do you have ANY idea what this is doing to them? I have absolutely NO OPINION as to which direction this situation should go, nor do I particularly care. I DO have the opinion that people need to do what they feel they need to, but they need to do it with the idea of making the children feel as safe and secure as possible throughout the transition. For some reason, this seems to be completely lost on some people, and I am really sad for those kids. I am not making this post to point the finger only at FOH, I see this throughout many other threads on this board. It was her statement that "He started to tell his kids this week. When they started to get upset, he stopped...decided to save it for another day." that really got my blood boiling. Absolutely spineless and doing his children no favors. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Touche, Its not as black and white as you think, You got lucky, you found Strong single men, But there are plenty of WEAK Azzz men out there too. Count your blessings I kind of agree with you but not sure about the luck part. Isn't up to us to choose whether we want to be with a strong single man, or a weak married one? It's up to US. And yes, you CAN help who you fall in love with. You really can. Link to post Share on other sites
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