Nuala83 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Here's a wee list I've compiled of some of the most common things people do to try and win their ex back. This is from an ebook that I downloaded a while back which like most 'win your ex back' e books was filled with a lot of fluff but contained the odd gem. 1. Give reassurance: "I've changed. I wont be controlling anymore. I wont lie to you anymore. I wont have another affair. I've improved myself so much," and so on. This doesn't usually work. 2. Telling them over and over again "I love you." 3. Wishfull thinking, prayer and hope: Forget wishfull thinking and switch to realistic thinking. 4. Arguing, reasoning and trying to talk them into feeling differently. 5. Recruiting others to side with us: A mutual friend or parent for example. 6. Acting depressed: It might work temporarily by making them feel guilty but in the long run it'll increase their motivation to get away from you. 7. Blaming them and telling them the relationship breakdown was their fault and they 'owe you'. 8. Exaggerating: This can be exagerating the good such as "He was my whole world and I'll never be able to cope without him" or exaggerating the bad " everything that led to the breakdown in the relationship was caused by him/me." How many of these have you done??? I totaled 7! The only thing I didn't do was try to recruit others to side with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I think, at some point or another, I have tried them ALL at some point.... Except 6...I think I tried that one for about 2 minutes just after we broke up...It didnt get me anywhere Great post I hope people follow your advice SoulBear Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nuala83 Posted June 14, 2009 Author Share Posted June 14, 2009 Cheers Soulbear! Or should it be bearpower??? I tried no 6 for 2 weeks after we broke up and in the end I felt like a total tw*t! Oh man if I only knew then what I know now Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I tried 1 and 4. The others I wanted to do but learned from experience what a loser it made me look like last time. Link to post Share on other sites
Alan430 Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Yeah i think i have done them all also. 5) i did only once and i felt like a complete tool. I really never push any of them that hard, but i think its part of the emotional Rollercoaster we all have had our ride on. I never deliberately thought let me try this to get her back, it just kinda happened. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I didn't do recruiting others or saying he owed me. (even though he did, dang it) Link to post Share on other sites
Gottabestrong Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I think I did 1,3,4 and 8 at some point in my life. The only thing I do consistently after every breakup is 3. And yeah, wishing and praying never works. Link to post Share on other sites
BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Cheers Soulbear! Or should it be bearpower??? I tried no 6 for 2 weeks after we broke up and in the end I felt like a total tw*t! Oh man if I only knew then what I know now No, its still SoulBear. That account is suspeneded tho until the 21st as I was soliciting my charismatic ego CV in the dating forum LOL Asked for a job overseas too -duh- I have tried them all, and I can clarify that none of them work. In fact, I am a prime example of what NOT TO DO after a breakup!!! If your new, read my posts (SoulBears not bearpowers) and I hope you learn. I think if you did the opposite of what I did actually, it would probably go in your favour:laugh: Saw in your other thread- dont worry about using me as an example, im totally cool with that! Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 i can honestly say i've NEVER used any of them. whenever someone dumped me,no matter how much it hurt,i just sucked it up,to much pride in me to stoop to begging. Link to post Share on other sites
BearPower Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 i can honestly say i've NEVER used any of them. whenever someone dumped me,no matter how much it hurt,i just sucked it up,to much pride in me to stoop to begging. The way your message comes across is condisending and slightly arrogant. Im sure you didnt mean it that way. Its not begging, no one has 'stooped' its a reaction to an action. You must have done at least ONE, at ONE POINT in your life with someone or some situation... Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 honestly,i've never begged,cried,anything ever to a woman.did i hurt? who wouldn't! but i'm not going tro lower myself for that. i'm not tring to come off as arrognant, or anything like that,just stating the facts. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 How many of these have you done??? I did all of them. I didn't request a friend to contact him though.. But my bff asked me if it was ok with me for her to send an email to DG to ask him to write to me. (Of course he didn't even respond to her either). Link to post Share on other sites
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