past feelings

[chuck]

I was in a relationship for 2 years with a wonderful girl. About 2 or 3 months ago she dumped me saying that her feelings has changed and that she wanted to be alone. ok, it really hurt but I moved on. I kept myself really busy and doing stuff to keep my mind off of it. Just recently, i started seeing someone else. I really like this new girl. We seem to be very compatible and we have alot in common. Im starting to develop feelings for her and she is developing feelings for me also. My problem is, even though everything is going great in my new relationship, I still have alot of feelings for my ex and i think about her sometimes. Sometimes i question if my feelings in the future will get as strong or stronger towards this new girl then what i felt towards my ex. Is this tipical? If not, what should i do? Will my feelings for my ex eventually go away? Any advise or suggestions are greatly appriciated.

 

Chuck

[Tony T]

This is not a psychic site. There is NO WAY people here can predict how your feelings will go. Obviously, you started seeing this new lady before you healed from the previous relationship so you are the one that will have to face the consequences.

 

You sound like a rational, sane man and therefore I'm sure you understand that your previous relationship is OVER. Therefore, the only sensible thing to do is get ahold of yourself and your feelings and stop thinking about this old relationship. There simply is no payoff for living in the past.

 

As for your new situation, there is just no way to predict how things will go there either. My experience tels me if two people just hang around together hoping feelings are going to develop, you have a problem. If you stay together because you genuinely enjoy each other's company, there is good conversation and fun, then the chances of developing feelings are greatly increased.

 

At any time and at any place, either party to a relationship can have their feelings change. There have been many priests who changed their mind about romantic love, resigned from the priesthood and got married. Of course, more than 50 percent of married people change their feelings about their spouse at some point and get divorced.

 

My best advice to you is to enjoy your new lady, don't expect too much so if something develops you'll be very happy. Enjoy the relationship, value and appreciate her love, and if it lasts you will be a very lucky man. Only you can make the decision to let your feelings for your ex go away. If you stop thinking about her and give your energy to your new lady, YES, they will diminish.

 

You worry too much!!!

[suzanna]

yes this is very typical. you can't expect that your feeling for your ex will go away overnight. you two spent alot of time together and that is the only thing (time) that is going to help you.