ON MY OWN Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 MY FRIENDS AND I REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THE ACTIONS OF MEN. I USED TO THINK I UNDERSTOOD THEM HALFWAY ONLY TO FIND OUT I WAS EVEN MORE BAFFELED AT THEIR BEHAVIOR. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Most men just want a drama free woman that treats them well and is fairly attractive. For most of us it really is that simple. I don't feel that our tastes change much with age but many of us become embittered after being put through the ringer with women. Link to post Share on other sites
JayJ Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving. And those are just the basics. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving. I would actually hope men would do the same thing for their women as well. except maybe change the hair color thing. That's really a weird request. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? By the verbiage and capitalization, I'll assume you're young, like young enough to be my daughter, even if an adult. I'll bet what you want is rapidly changing, as that is normal during this period. It is the same for men. Do they know? In the moment, sure. Projecting long-term, IME, no, and, generally, it doesn't matter to them. If you're someone fun to hang out with and enjoy sex, you're good to go for most young men. They have male friends to socialize with and do guy things with. Most are not interested in starting a family at a young age. WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? Continuing, as a man ages, his priorities shift. He looks more for stability and companionship and a solid woman with whom he can have children, if he wants that. This is a generalization, but has been the case IME. He still might have leftovers from his younger, wanderlust days, but learns to temper those behaviors and respect the value of a solid woman in his life. Some men don't mature in this way and are known as womanizers. I can tell you, as an older man, the largest contributors to my desiring a divorce were: 1. Lack of spontaneous affection 2. Feeling unappreciated as a man, both for the security I provided as well as for the emotional and physical support I offered 3. Fear that it was me and then God, and not feeling the security of a solid woman who had my back So, to extrapolate, and this is only one datapoint, as an older man, show me affection (this does not mean sex necessarily) and respond positively to that which I offer, appreciate my contributions to the relationship, and show me in actions that you have my back when occasions arise that I need emotional and physical support, and you will enjoy the love and fidelity of a committed partner for life. I know life isn't as simple as that, but, for me, those are the essential building blocks and what I bring to the table as well. The other aspects of compatibility are assumed. Good luck and best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
JayJ Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 And those are just the basics. don't be so sure. I was on the dating scene for 15 years before I finally gave in and got married and in all that time I never met a woman who had all these qualities in one package and I dated dozens of them and live in a major city. So I wouldn't call them basics. It's more like a wish list. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Utopian and unrealistic would be my opinion Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 MY FRIENDS AND I REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THE ACTIONS OF MEN. I USED TO THINK I UNDERSTOOD THEM HALFWAY ONLY TO FIND OUT I WAS EVEN MORE BAFFELED AT THEIR BEHAVIOR. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? I think there are definate differences between the sexes but mostly I think a persons spirit defines their character and thus their behaviour, beyond their gender. Hence I dont consider that a person treating someone badly or well comes down to their gender. It more than likely is something to do with who they are deep down. Now, there does seem to be a 'tit for tat' level of relations that I have witnessed. Whereby the relationship is simply based on what each person does or (mainly) what they do not do. Then there is a 'deep connection' within relationships that goes beyond any material and even emotional content that life throws up. To reach this level I have seen that a person must be willing to work on themselves/source a higher meaning within life in order to even recognise the potential for such a bond. So saying, I think many men want their visual fantasies to match real life content as much as possible. Whereas females want the opposite to be true. At my most cynical I would say that many relationships only exist within the minds of those involved due to incompatible views of what life actually means/is about. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
Carolyn Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving. Wow, sounds like something that you would find in The Good HouseWife Guide, the 1930's issue!!! Just as well some of us women arent as fussy......lots of men would find themselves single all their lives! Link to post Share on other sites
JayJ Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I think maybe the "respect line" needs fine tuning. It should read "there needs to be mutual respect" Link to post Share on other sites
JayJ Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Wow, sounds like something that you would find in The Good HouseWife Guide, the 1930's issue!!! Just as well some of us women arent as fussy......lots of men would find themselves single all their lives! OK, OK....I think maybe the "respect line" needs fine tuning. It should read "there needs to be mutual respect" Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 don't be so sure. I was on the dating scene for 15 years before I finally gave in and got married and in all that time I never met a woman who had all these qualities in one package and I dated dozens of them and live in a major city. So I wouldn't call them basics. It's more like a wish list. Hehe, hence the rolling of the eyes...some things, of course, I do agree with but wearing full war paint even while in the home, is just plain ridiculous. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. Huh? There really should be a list of inner qualities and not superficial stuff, like changing the hair colour?? Is that really on a guys list of high priorities? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Regarding the bolded above, what does this mean exactly. It simply means I felt like I had no backup. It was me and then God meaning the only thing left for me to do was to pray; I had no one to turn to. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving. As long as he can afford to keep her well painted! I know men everywhere love the "I can't; you do it; I just got my nails done" excuse. I view nail polish and acrylic nails to be the younger cuter cousin of foot binding. Too hampering and unproductive. Not to mention a complete waste of time and money. I DO agree with the respect even when he doesn't deserve it on some occasions. I don't agree with my SO on everything, but I do have enough respect to take issue with those things privately rather than in front of company or the kid. I expect the same in return. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ON MY OWN Posted June 22, 2009 Author Share Posted June 22, 2009 Is communication of any importance to men? All the visual is not going to get you through your rough times. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Is communication of any importance to men? In a word, no. They depend on us women to handle that department. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ON MY OWN Posted June 22, 2009 Author Share Posted June 22, 2009 In a word, no. They depend on us women to handle that department. LOL, thanks again OB. I know your right. In my expeiences this has definitely been the case. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 If a man wants you, you will know it. If you have to ask, he's not very much into you ...yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ON MY OWN Posted June 22, 2009 Author Share Posted June 22, 2009 If a man wants you, you will know it. If you have to ask, he's not very much into you ...yet. Actually, guess I was generalizing my experience with men in general, straying a little away from original question. Yes I agree, I have never asked a man, I think its tacky, men are hunters, they like the thrill of the chase anyway, lol. From my experience less is more. Just love how these conversations grow and grow. I will admit there are some that are a bit better at communicating then others. Link to post Share on other sites
RunawayTrain Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 I would actually hope men would do the same thing for their women as well. except maybe change the hair color thing. That's really a weird request. Hi Neighbor from Jersey ! LOL Ever see the movie You Dont Mess With The Zohan! The hair color thing made me think of that. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeymcee Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 me and my friends wonder the same thing Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving.So Jay, what do you bring to the table besides a long list of superficial requirements? Link to post Share on other sites
clv0116 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 MY FRIENDS AND I REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THE ACTIONS OF MEN. I USED TO THINK I UNDERSTOOD THEM HALFWAY ONLY TO FIND OUT I WAS EVEN MORE BAFFELED AT THEIR BEHAVIOR. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? A low-drama woman who can understand how the CAPS lock key works is suddenly looking a bit appealing. Link to post Share on other sites
butcher's hook Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 , wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. you must have settled for the ugly one in the bunch if she needs this much work even in her down time! My guy would rather eat glass than have me wearing full on makeup around the house, he seems to love me sweaty and just off the treadmill au naturalle best! I take great pride in my appearance but that list is ridiculous! And see "sex as recreational fun"? Wow right down to how she should feel too! You sure you are not dating a blow up doll? Link to post Share on other sites
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