dunstable Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Most men just want a drama free woman that treats them well and is fairly attractive. I agree with the part about "drama free". For me, that is a fundamental requirement. I think "fairly attractive" is too weak -- for me, she needs to be not necessarily conventionally beautiful but extremely arousing. What makes a woman extremely arousing to me is something I don't fully understand, but maybe it's something to do (in part) with body shape and pheromones. I am turned on by women who combine delicate bone structure with voluptuousness, which is the way my girlfriend is. My girlfriend likes chunky, hairy men -- which is lucky because that's the way I am. Another vitally important quality for me is kindliness -- not just kindliness towards me but kindliness to all people and towards all sensate creatures (a large proportion of my relationships have been with women who are vegetarians). I don't think it's possible to make oneself irresistible by trying to learn what makes the other sex tick and then behaving in a certain way -- I think two people either mesh or they don't. I think one has to be oneself and hope to meet that someone who meshes with you. One does have to be cautious because my experience is that it takes a long time to find out whether one really is a fit with the other person or whether it's just an infatuation. I'm sorry, I find it really hard to put my feelings on this topic into clear words. Whenever I've been in a lasting love, it's been hard to analyze why, it's been more like an unreasoned animal attraction --like an infatuation except it doesn't fade but goes on and on. Link to post Share on other sites
solo_flyer Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 MY FRIENDS AND I REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THE ACTIONS OF MEN. I USED TO THINK I UNDERSTOOD THEM HALFWAY ONLY TO FIND OUT I WAS EVEN MORE BAFFELED AT THEIR BEHAVIOR. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? THEY WANT WOMEN WHO DON'T SHOUT AT THEM Link to post Share on other sites
Left in a Lurch Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Aside from attraction, I like a woman that doesn't give mixed signals. If she is not interested, I hope she wouldn't give me her number and not answer, say "maybe", or agree to go out and then be the busiest person in the history of the world. I guess a woman that is confident and if she is interested says yes and follows through and if she is not, says no upfront. The 'chase' is not always that fun. It can be a pain in the ass and stressful if we have to keep jumping through hoops to prove something. If I call her, call me back within a day. If we make plans, find a way to follow through. Other than that, don't judge me harshly because I like to do things that men like to do. Don't judge what I do based on your former boyfriend's actions. If I go out with friends to the bar one night, it doesn't mean I am a drunk and abusive because your last guy was. If I go to a bachelor party, don't think I am hooking up with a stripper because your last bf did it. Don't expect because you loved the movie Titanic, I will ever watch it. Most importantly, I have enough work and bs to deal with at work so be fun, not more work and bs. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 She has to do all she can to keep looking visually appealing. Take pride in her appearance, wear makeup even at home, keep her nails nice (that includes toes) change her hair color and style every once in awhile. She should be sexually adventurous and into new things. She should cultivate a lusty attitude toward sex and see it as recreational fun and not just a way to share intimacy. She shouldn't rely on her husband for all her personal happiness- she needs to go out and cultivate her own goals and interests. She should treat him with respect, even if she thinks he doesn't deserve it sometimes. She should compliment him on a job well done is he is working around the house. Most of all be she needs to be kind generous and loving. Wow... this post made me nauseated. No wonder I don't know for certain that marriage is a necessity in my life! How about you men? Are you gonna be clean shaven, suck in that beer gut, wax all that body hair, stop farting and burping in public all the time and wash your freaking dirty feet? I guess the worst part about this post is that your first and foremost statement was about looks. Hope you're ready for the gigantic plastic surgery bill for your wife with an attitude like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Left in a Lurch Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Wow... this post made me nauseated. No wonder I don't know for certain that marriage is a necessity in my life! How about you men? Are you gonna be clean shaven, suck in that beer gut, wax all that body hair, stop farting and burping in public all the time and wash your freaking dirty feet? I guess the worst part about this post is that your first and foremost statement was about looks. Hope you're ready for the gigantic plastic surgery bill for your wife with an attitude like that. Guys were asked what they want and yes, we like attractive women just like you like attractive guys. It's human nature. This is why women don't know what guys really want because when we get asked, if we answer honestly we get attacked with the, "what makes you so great?" line. It's easier to lie and say we want a woman that loves children and animals and it doesn't matter what she looks like. It's the same way women say they want a "nice guy" but don't really want one. They want Brad Pitt, not the chubby nice guy with two chins. I guess women aren't that much different from men in what they want. I don't know of any women that date guys they are not attracted to at all. Link to post Share on other sites
RavenHair Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Ha! Good point. Maintaining your appearance should go both ways IMO...however, unfortunately, that job is usually left to the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
happy girl Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 Guys were asked what they want and yes, we like attractive women just like you like attractive guys. It's human nature. This is why women don't know what guys really want because when we get asked, if we answer honestly we get attacked with the, "what makes you so great?" line. It's easier to lie and say we want a woman that loves children and animals and it doesn't matter what she looks like. It's the same way women say they want a "nice guy" but don't really want one. They want Brad Pitt, not the chubby nice guy with two chins. I guess women aren't that much different from men in what they want. I don't know of any women that date guys they are not attracted to at all. I would rather find a nice guy over Brad Pitt anyday. Some of the guys that everyone else sees as being so great looking, tend to lack a personality. A true nice guy is hard to find! Men tend to think there is a problem with being labeled a "nice guy", however, being nice and letting someone walk all over you are 2 entirely different things. Link to post Share on other sites
dunstable Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 I would rather find a nice guy over Brad Pitt anyday. Some of the guys that everyone else sees as being so great looking, tend to lack a personality. A true nice guy is hard to find! I kind of agree with you but I do think that mutual physical attraction is very important in addition to "niceness". I think that perceiving the other person as nice and finding them physically attractive are ideally both necessary. If one had to choose though, I would (like you) opt for niceness over physical attraction. Niceness could hold a relationship together in the long term but physical attraction in the absence of niceness could not do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ON MY OWN Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 Wow... this post made me nauseated. No wonder I don't know for certain that marriage is a necessity in my life! How about you men? Are you gonna be clean shaven, suck in that beer gut, wax all that body hair, stop farting and burping in public all the time and wash your freaking dirty feet? I guess the worst part about this post is that your first and foremost statement was about looks. Hope you're ready for the gigantic plastic surgery bill for your wife with an attitude like that. Great feedback...I have been reading posts and quite a few in this thread have valid points...however we as women in this society seem to carry more pressure having to look like barbie dolls. I know not everyone is like that. The men I see on this thread say niceness and looks are important, which is true, however if they met that so called nice girl they might not know it if they are too wrapped up in looks only. It is the total package IMO, if a man is sweet it tends to win me over and make the man look even more attractive, just as a man who is very attractive, if his attitude is bad it actually takes away from his looks. I think being a truly good person should come naturally and things just have an overall good flow then. Link to post Share on other sites
Left in a Lurch Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I would rather find a nice guy over Brad Pitt anyday. Some of the guys that everyone else sees as being so great looking, tend to lack a personality. A true nice guy is hard to find! Men tend to think there is a problem with being labeled a "nice guy", however, being nice and letting someone walk all over you are 2 entirely different things. Well nice guys come across as boring a lot of times and if they are not type A personalities it takes a while before you would get to know they are not boring. A lot of women base it on their first reaction like on one date where nothing really deep gets discussed. I know there are women that like nice guys over pure attraction but let's face it, Brad Pitt has 1 billion options to choose from, your average nice guy is lucky to have 3, and 2 of them are daughter's of their mom's friends. For a good looking guy a bad joke is funniest thing she ever heard so he must be a really funny and interesting guy, for an unattractive guy it's a bad joke and probably offensive so he is a bore or offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW?I don't think most people bother to do an indepth analytic, about what they want in a partner. WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER?Does it matter what they look for? Isn't what matters, finding the man who appreciates what you have to offer? As far as changing as they get older, everyone changes to a degree. Conceptually, if you're with a partner, the two of you should change in the same direction, due to similar goals and values in life. Link to post Share on other sites
dunstable Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 I don't think most people bother to do an indepth analytic, about what they want in a partner. I'm a firm believer in NOT doing an indepth analysis about what I want in a partner. I think attraction and compatibility are rooted in our animal instincts and if there is not an unreasoned overwhelming attraction, it probably isn't going to work in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
happy girl Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Well nice guys come across as boring a lot of times and if they are not type A personalities it takes a while before you would get to know they are not boring. A lot of women base it on their first reaction like on one date where nothing really deep gets discussed. I know there are women that like nice guys over pure attraction but let's face it, Brad Pitt has 1 billion options to choose from, your average nice guy is lucky to have 3, and 2 of them are daughter's of their mom's friends. For a good looking guy a bad joke is funniest thing she ever heard so he must be a really funny and interesting guy, for an unattractive guy it's a bad joke and probably offensive so he is a bore or offensive. Of course Brad Pitt will have more options but they will mainly be based on something shallow such as his money or fame, I don't think he is really even very good looking. I don't believe in deciding if I like a man until I have a chance to get to know him for who he is. I feel it helps to be friends first, that way you can get to know each other without the pressure of dating. I have been friends with the guy I like for awhile now and we have been getting to know each other really well. I find him attractive, but it has to do with who he is on the inside. He is open and honest about who he is and what he has done, good and bad! That is something I appreciated about him right away. It seems that when you first start dating someone, both people tend to put on a front, pretending to be someone they aren't so they can impress each other. I would rather a man that is comfortable with himself and isn't trying to make me believe he is someone he isn't. My friend also admitted pretty early on to not having much money, however, I love that he doesn't consider money to be on the top of his list of priorities. Some women may have shallow requirements when it comes to men, however, some of us would rather a man that is true to who he is and doesn't try to decieve us. Nice guys do finish first with those of us lucky enough to find and appreciate them! Link to post Share on other sites
happy girl Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Isn't what matters, finding the man who appreciates what you have to offer? Well put! This is what everyone should be finding when it comes to love! Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? It depends entirely on the man in question - different guys have different tastes & interests. Like trialbyfire said, instead of worrying about what men want, it's best to find someone who wants you as you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 MY FRIENDS AND I REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING THE ACTIONS OF MEN. I USED TO THINK I UNDERSTOOD THEM HALFWAY ONLY TO FIND OUT I WAS EVEN MORE BAFFELED AT THEIR BEHAVIOR. WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY WANT AND DO THEY REALLY KNOW? WHAT DO THEY LOOK FOR IN WOMEN AND DOES THIS REMAIN CONSTANT OR CHANGE AS THEY GET OLDER? We want you to be straight up and communicate with us, and NOT PLAY GAMES to get what you want. We want you to be fun, friendly, active, cute, intelligent, generous, independent and drama-free. We expect you to expect the same from us. Oh and we want you to love sex. We're really not that complicated. You may have just met a messed up one. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Is communication of any importance to men? All the visual is not going to get you through your rough times. Yes, without good communication any relationship is doomed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ON MY OWN Posted July 7, 2009 Author Share Posted July 7, 2009 We want you to be straight up and communicate with us, and NOT PLAY GAMES to get what you want. We want you to be fun, friendly, active, cute, intelligent, generous, independent and drama-free. We expect you to expect the same from us. Oh and we want you to love sex. We're really not that complicated. You may have just met a messed up one. Thanks for the feedback ~ well put. I WAS in a relationship with a "messed up " one. LOL. So I wanted to throw this post out there and see what people had to say about what men wanted in general. Some of my friends were having questions on this too, not over analyzing, but just in general. Yes we do have different likes and interests as well as what drives us. I defintely love the honesty on this post!! Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Thanks for the feedback ~ well put. I WAS in a relationship with a "messed up " one. LOL. So I wanted to throw this post out there and see what people had to say about what men wanted in general. Some of my friends were having questions on this too, not over analyzing, but just in general. Yes we do have different likes and interests as well as what drives us. I defintely love the honesty on this post!! Thanks!! No problem, OMO! I'm always happy to share my thoughts with the ladies. Good luck to you and your friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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