Zorie Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I wasn't quite in a LDR yet... but it was heading towards it sorry this is a little lengthy but please bear with me! My situation in a nutshell is that I met a guy through an online dating site, we live 5 hours away from one another but we immediately connected and had nearly everything under the sun in common! Been in contact 3+ months with discussions about making plans to meet in the very near future. The last 3 weeks or so our communication elevated quite fast, and we started to really open up and talk about how we were beginning to have feelings for one another etc... We communicated through IM nightly for hours and joked how we spent more time talking to each other than people in the "real world". He told me that he had told his family about me, and how they must think he's crazy talking the way he did about someone he's never met... anyway, last thurs i receieved a message from him saying he'd been thinking about me all day and that night he called me (our first phone conversation) he told me he was extremely nervous about calling me and stared at the phone for a long time before dialing... so everything was going really good - or so i thought... we carried on the conversation like any normal get to know you phone conversation! then.. about 45 min into the phone conversation the phone goes dead, he never called back, never messaged me anything... Initially i was going to call the number back but decided against it because it happened on his end i figured he would get back to me and now its monday and I have yet to hear a word from him!!! We've never met and it hasn't been all that long but I was really excited to have met him even if it would have evolved into nothing more than friendship but now I dont have a clue what happened?? of course all these crazy thoughts are going through my head like, did I say something on the phone that annoyed him? (I dont think i did lol) Did he not like the sound of my voice??? what gives? It's not that i expect to hear from him daily, but I had for several weeks and I just found it rude how the phone convo ended, i dont even know if I was hung up on or if the call was disconnected somehow? I sent him one message saying that i was concerned and hoped that everything was ok, and then one email saying sorry If I somehow scared him if he no longer wanted to communicate that was fine but to please just let me know and not leave me hanging. Well still nothing! Has anything like this happened to anyone else? I keep thinking back and there is nothing at all I can think of that could have caused this! If he just flaked out then I obviously wouldnt even carry on with someone like that but its eating away at me! of course I know there is also the possiblity that something bad happened but I just don't know if I feel ready to pursue trying to investigate that far into it. who does this!?!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Sometimes your phone/internet service flakes out at the most inconvenient time. One time my LDR didn't hear from me for two days because my phone line went down, so I had no phone and no internet, and I couldn't get into my email to retrieve his phone number so I couldn't call him from another phone. After two days I went to an internet cafe just so I could let him know everything was ok. I would suggest trying to call his number back to see if it rings, and if someone answers you might be able to get more information about what happened. It's possible that he just freaked out mid-conversation and hung up, but any normal person would say goodbye and hang up if they wanted to end the conversation. Unless someone came home and caught him making a phonecall (wife/girlfriend) so he hung up in a hurry? The fact that it's been four days since you heard from him doesn't bode well. If you call back you might get some answers. God, I hate it when men just ignore you instead of telling you up front that they want to end the relationship. My ex started to ignore me well over a year ago, but he still hasn't officially broken up with me! He's not dead cos I see his Facebook updates; he just vanished from my life without having the decency to end our relationship first (I have a new bf now so I don't care ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zorie Posted June 15, 2009 Author Share Posted June 15, 2009 God, I hate it when men just ignore you instead of telling you up front that they want to end the relationship. My ex started to ignore me well over a year ago, but he still hasn't officially broken up with me! He's not dead cos I see his Facebook updates; he just vanished from my life without having the decency to end our relationship first (I have a new bf now so I don't care ) AGREED! why take the cowardly route and not just be up front and honest. And I'm sorry you had to go through that with your ex I can't even imagine going through it with an actual bf! Up until this happened I sincerely thought we had good honest communication both of us agreed that good communication was key in making a relationship work then this... It's possible that his internet/phone may have gone down that night but not overall because i saw him pop on and off on IM although if his is set up like mine it will sign you in when the computer is turned on and i know there have been a few times when his brother or roomate were using the computer so he was "technically" online but it wasnt him at the computer... I keep struggling with wanting to call the number but my insecurities keep getting the best of me! I don't want to sound like some crazy stalker if indeed he just decided he no longer wants contact Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 If someone else is using his computer then his computer is working, there's no reason why he couldn't come online himself and tell you that the phone died or something. It sounds to me like, for some odd reason, he just hung up on you and is now avoiding you. If he does decide he no longer wants contact, he should have the decency to tell you that himself, not just hang up on you and avoid you. It would take him all of five minutes to do the decent thing - bah, this sort of behaviour really annoys me! It is not stalker-ish to want to clarify what's going on when a friend just vanishes on you, it's perfectly reasonable. You have every right to call his number back without feeling like you're doing anything wrong. In fact, you should probably do it for your own peace of mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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