hisprincess4eva Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Hi there everyone.. I kinda needed ur input and advice in the situation my SO and i are in right now, because i am really confused and getting paranoid. My SO is in med school in another state and i was suppose to go visit him in 2 weeks for 4-6 days. I emailed him saturday asking him if i should confirm my booking since the prices go up every week. He replied back saying "how hard this semester is going to be, and he doesn't know if i shud come or no....because he doesn't want me to feel neglected. He then said he will call me later tonight to discuss it further" I got really sad, because i was looking forward to this mini visit for such a long time. But i also understand his situation, it is not his fault that this semester is hard. I then replied back saying "its okay baby =/, when u call me i will have to call u back from skype or yahoo cuz i don't have any mins. So either miss call me or txt me so i can come online". He then thought i was i was mad at him so he asked, "babe r u mad???" i replied "No babyy im not mad, i am okay" I had a gut instinct that he wud be online, cuz normally he wud be online listening to lec or making notes. So he was online and again i left a msg saying "babyy pls do not think i am mad at u because i am not, its jus something else. I think ur busy so im going to go now. I will talk to u later tonight, I love u =)" after that i signed off. I also sent him an last email, because maybe i did sound mad when i was replying back (i was kinda mad) i told how i am not mad at him, and everything is fine. I explained how excited i was to come see him and now its all good. He shud jus call me when he gets a chance. Then 3 hrs later i get a miss call from an uknown number and i end thinking it is him, so i emailed him again and asked if it was him. I did not get no reply. After that i decided to call him and jus leave a voicemail and i did, and also left an email again saying the things i said in the email (because he barely listens to his voicemail) He has been online for 4+ hrs today, most of the time he jus leaves his messenger on to download his lecs and stuff. I barely go on there to chat with him, and i don't want to ruin things by going online now and pushing this issue more and more. I am not sure if he is mad at me or what? or i am jus being super paranoid here???? (i dunno what to do, its killing me here not to hear from me and also i understand he has an exam that he has to study for) (we have been together for more than a yr now, and we have been doing this LDR for 14 months) Link to post Share on other sites
Thornton Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 Yes, you are being paranoid. You told him you weren't mad, and instead of trusting him to accept this you sent him a msg, emailed him, emailed him again, left a voicemail, then emailed him again... If you're so worried, go online briefly and ask him if everything is ok. But I really do think you're worrying about nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I am not sure why you are not talking to him. If he is mad, only HE can tell you that (I don't think he is as there is no reason for hm to be) and then -- IF HE IS -- you can address the problem and go back to normal. If he isn't then you can save yourself this confusion and hysteria by confirming that he isn't. You have been in a relationship for over a year. It is my understanding that this is going to be LD for a while longer. You simply MUST start communicating with him. The threads you have started here are all about the same thing. Your insecurities and lack of communication. It's great that you have lasted so long in this but you really must take your relationship to the next level. This can only be done by you trusting in him with all of your feelings -- about everything -- including your insecurities shown here. Situation will always happen that can, if you are in the position you are now, cause insecurities to flare up. The ONLY way to put them to rest is to communicate with him and hear what he has to say. You are planning on getting married correct? Then you need to start trusting in him and believing in him as your best friend. And I do not mean by blindly attempting to shut these feelings you are having out or ignore them. The problem will not go away if you do that and you will keep having these flare ups. You have to start telling more about how you interpret actions and lack thereof. There is a lot he could be doing on his side to help you with ALL of this and the situations like this in the future. BUT HE CAN'T HELP YOU WITH WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW. I implore you to start reaching out to him instead of assuming. Even if he were mad you would want him to talk to you about it and fix it, right? So talking to him can help with that. Talk to him. Talk to him. Talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hisprincess4eva Posted June 16, 2009 Author Share Posted June 16, 2009 Thank you for your replies... Islandgirl i did talk to him today and we had a long conversation today. I told him everything that you explained to me. It's true that if Im going to get married to him i must learn to communicate with him. i cannot just assume things and keep on doing this forever. i feel SO MUCH BETTTER NOW thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts