ButterflyGirl Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 I am 32 years old and I don't think I've ever had a crush so debilitating in all my life! I took a 5 week class just this past Summer and over the course of the class I somehow developed a HUGE crush on my professor. He's not the best looking guy I've ever had the opportunity to meet, however, he's quite intelligent. He has a unique and effective teaching style that I'm not familiar with, so I admire that a lot. He's Hawaiian and highly intelligent--two qualities I find extremely attractive. The last time I actually saw him was the last day of the Summer session at the end of August of this year. I have thought of him incessantly ever since, in my wake as well as in my sleep. To make things more complicated, I have a boyfriend that is not only gorgeous, but also kind, thoughtful, and supportive--I know that he loves me dearly and I do love him as well, so I most definately do not want to jeopardize our relationship. However, whenever we're together, I have to fight real hard to not say my crush's name out loud. Avoiding my crush has taken quite a bit of energy out of me. I find myself having to take the long and scenic route just to avoid the possibility of bumping into him--yet he occupies so much of my mind. I feel as if I have no control in my desires for "Mr. Crush" and yet, I want to maintain the relationship that I do have with my boyfriend. Do I just wait the crush out? Or should I act on it to get it out of my system? Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Acting on it would amount to cheating. As I see it you have two choices (well you have more than two, but two decent choices) break up with your current bf and pursue Mr. Crush find a way to get over Mr. Crush and stay with your bf Its healthy to fantasize. Maybe you and your bf should try some role-playing games and you can each have a different name - suggest Mr. Crush's name as one of your favorites - then it won't be a mistake to say his name when you are with your bf! Plus, if you role-play it out of your system you might be able to get over it faster. Link to post Share on other sites
Herbapou Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 You're pretty much in the same situation has I am. The only difference is I cant avoid "my crush". If you decided to leave your BF for your crush, make sure that the crush is really interested in you before. If you want to get rid of it: I think getting crush when your not single is a sign of a weak relationship. What really helped for me is to improved my relationship. But, despite all my efforts, I still feel all mixed up if I talk too much to my crush in a day (I guess I really love her and its no longer a crush). But the feeling doesnt stay too long. I am getting much better at fighting this. Another thing you can do (to get rid of a crush) is to focus on his/her defaults instead of is qualities. Dont hesitate to try anything that might help. GL Link to post Share on other sites
Author ButterflyGirl Posted November 5, 2003 Author Share Posted November 5, 2003 Thanks for your response. I don't ever see my crush--as a matter of fact, I haven't seen him since mid-August, nor have I had any contact with him, so there is really no way that I can focus on his faults-because I don't see any of them. I do, however, want so badly to get rid of the crush...any more advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts