I Told Him

[intrinsic]

that I loved him.

 

Because I do. I'm not "in love," or anything else so quixotic and idealistic, but I love him. I care about him a great deal.

 

He's a good friend. We've tried dating a few times, but it never entirely worked out.

 

I figured I'd lay it all out for him. Granted, I was also a bit intoxicated at the time, but I laid it out. And all of it was true, though a little extreme and much too honest. It felt good to get it out. It did. I planned on disappearing for a while to give him some space. I told him that.

 

His response was, essentially but not verbatim, "stop being crazy. I still want to be friends with you, but stop being crazy."

 

I dunno. I'm not stupid and I knew it wasn't mutual, but I didn't know he'd not want me to tell him how I feel.

 

I guess it was too much. I guess I'm being overwhelming. We're always told, as people, to tell other people how we feel. It needed to be said and so I told him.

 

I'm pretty sure I scared him, but I didn't mean to. I didn't expect anything in return; I just had to tell him that I loved him, that I cared.

 

I told him. Now I think I've lost him.

 

Cool, I want him to have his space; I don't necessarily need him. I just care about him. I expected his reaction to be a little more "Oh, okay," and a little less "You're a freak."

 

Mais c'est la vie.

 

Just... now I want to know: was I wrong in telling him how I felt? Is anyone ever wrong for telling someone how she feels?

[tweezers]

Similar situation here.

 

You've told him. You feel better for telling him. He knows now.

 

Yeah, he's probably a little scared, but isn't he entitled to be? Love's a big deal, especially to guys, I think, and especially if it's expressed early on or pre-/post-relationship, as it seems to have been here.

 

But you did right. There's no reason for a person to suppress her positive feelings. You told him how you felt. You've done a good thing. You've let someone know that he's loved. People thrive better when they know they're loved. You did a good deed and love is positive. If you've lost him, sucks, but so be it.

 

You should be proud of you for having the capacity to love and having the bravery to express it.

 

As for him, he'll feel weird for a week or two, get over it, and move on.

 

And so will you. Same process.

 

Then you'll find someone who's worth your time and doesn't invalidate your feelings.

[JohnnyBlaze]

No, you weren't wrong. If you didn't tell him, it would've eaten at you. Granted, his reaction was kinda weird, but us guys aren't good in situations like that, so don't sweat it. As to the love vs. in love thing, again, don't sweat it. We just don't see the difference between the two. We know the difference, but in the hypothetical, not practical sense.

 

Like Tweezers said, just let it blow over. Stay cool for a little while, he'll get over the shock, and things'll go back to being good again.

[intrinsic]

Yes...

 

Merci