Angry at the parents

[wierdmunky]

I got a scare last night, that made me actually yell out and scream which I never do, and today I have my mom asking me why. I thought my brother was going to literally jump off the roof because he was upset. He got into into trouble again with my parents (which I'm not defending), and ran off, locked himself in his room, and climbed out his window, (2nd story) and when I saw him I yelled out his name and hyperventalated. This all happened while we (dad sister me) were trying to talk things out. My dad, angry because I yelled at my mom to "stop" because she was stomping her food and running after my brother, was trying to tell me that no one respects him in the house and that what is the point of working if this is the way we treat the parents.

 

I understand his POV. But he says that everytime a sitution like this happens. Me, and my sister do everything he asks, we clean, cook,are nice to him, and things are harmonious most of the time. I stepped in because things were escalating, and my protective side kicked in. I never do that inbetween them telling my brother anything, but an incident happened before with him and my mom, and it just came out.

 

They don't understand that I was for 5 seconds actually thinking that my brother was going to jump, and just think I'm crazy. Comparatively they treat me a lot harsher, I'm not so sure why. I am really at my wits end with being able to communicate to them about who I am, it seems like they just ignore what I say. I really don't like when these arguments arise and everytime try to get to the bottom of them everytime. I'm still shocked, while everyone else is pretending like nothing happened.

[anne1707]

Comparatively they treat me a lot harsher, I'm not so sure why. I am really at my wits end with being able to communicate to them about who I am, it seems like they just ignore what I say.

 

 

My brother is a couple of years older than me. He is very intelligent but has never been able to "stick" at anything (education, job, relationships). Meanwhile I have worked hard to get where I am (and succeeded).

 

It frustrated me for years that my father would give me grief when I made a mistake when I knew my brother had done far worse and basically got away with it. Eventually I confronted him about this. It basically came down to the fact that he expected far more of me. Because I had battled my way through tough times and challenged myself, he expected more of me - but here's the key thing, it was out of respect because he knew that I could (and would) improve my situation whereas my brother would not.

 

On learning this, digesting this and finally appreciating this, my perspective changed. Especially when a few years ago, my father insisted on having a party to celebrate a success in my life for which he could do the proud parent routine whilst my brother had to sit quietly on the sidelines and just watch.