ambrah Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 what does it mean when your ex, who you haven't talked to in a year and a half except for short IM sessions, tells you that he misses you physically? we dated for three years and were very much in love. the relationship ended b/c we had to be living too far apart and were not at points in our lives where it would have been wise to move where the other person was. it's not possible for us to be together now, as i am dating someone else that i truly care for. but i am not putting out of my mind a future with my ex, and i want to know what he's feeling is he just telling me that he misses the physical aspects b/c he is hurt that i am seeing someone else and doesn't want his feelings hurt? or has he erased all emotional care for me and reduced me to a physical object to lust over? Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 Best way to find out how he is feeling is to talk to him. I think when someone means they miss you physically, presuming he is talking sexually, that doesn’t really give me the impression that he wants you emotionally too. I would just concentrate on my current relationship, but if you are really curious, talk to him. But don’t forget the commitment you have just made to your current guy. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 I agree with PurpleAngel that you shouldn't assume that your ex wants to reconnect with you on all levels just because he has mentioned missing you physically. Funny, my ex (who lives far away) did the same thing recently. But then he started dating someone else, and is still madly in love with his most recent ex. My interpretation: he let me know he still has passion for me as a means of distancing himself from his most recent ex (emphasized that our physical connection was unmatched, and while the recent ex was never mentioned, it implicitly disparaged their sex life). He was at a low point in his life and thus wanting to stroll down memory lane. I feel rather sorry for the woman he just started dating; I wonder if she knows that she's Miss Rebound. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that part of the reason our sex life had been so fantastic was because of the genuine emotions between us. I don't think my ex was thinking about that recently. But that doesn't mean it isn't an intrinsic part of the formula. I didn't just make him feel good physically when we were together, ours was a genuinely loving relationship. His most recent ex was a cold, selfish woman. His nostalgia for me was probably as much about my love for him as it was about passion. But it was all a function of his bleeding heart. My advice to you would be to not allow your hopes about your ex to derail your present course. If your ex wants to come back into your life in a meaningful way, he'll make a more substantial effort than merely telling you he still fantasizes about you. If he keeps on bringing things up, ask him what's going on. Link to post Share on other sites
stewh Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 Originally posted by ambrah it's not possible for us to be together now, as i am dating someone else that i truly care for. but i am not putting out of my mind a future with my ex, and i want to know what he's feeling Could you explain to me how you could go about making any future plans with your current guy and really care for him like you say you do when you have not completely dis-attached yourself from your ex or the thoughts of having a future with him? Are your feelings for your ex still quite strong? Do you think about him a lot, even when your with your current guy? Just curious Link to post Share on other sites
ambrah Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 i don't think about him a lot; mostly only when i feel like my current man and i are on a different page. i reminisce about a closer emotional connection and kind of make comparisons. i know that's not great. both my current guy and i are not planning long term. we would welcome it if it happened, but with masters degrees to be attained, we are trying to be flexible with the relationship and not make too many demands...therefore i still think about the ex at times Link to post Share on other sites
stewh Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 I sort of expected what you said ambrah. My ex gets in touch with me when she is feeling low and things aren't going to plan with the new guy. Just like you described as being on a different page at times but then things pick up and she is well enough to carry on without me. What hurts the most is the fact that I know really she doesn't give a monkeys about me anymore, it really is just to help herself through a period of feeling ****ty. I have addressed this now and blocked her ability to contact me out completely, she was the one who moved on with someone else and so should leave me to the past and enable me to move on also. Yeah I was dumped, I'm not bitter about that but I don't appreciate being stringed along and being kept in the cupboard like a mug in case things go all tits up for her. From the way you talk though I get an impression that the relationship you are in now simply exists because it fits into both your current lifestyles. What with you both studying for masters degrees. I don't get an impression that you truely see it lasting long term especially with the 'if it does it does' kind of attitude. Maybe you are more confused about your ex than you thought you would be. Especially now for some reason maybe the recent discussions have triggered some hidden memories or thoughts. I don't know, I don't even know you lol I'm just bored on a Sunday morning because the weather is shocking. Anyway good luck with the Masters, if it's in relationships by the way then maybe you can pass on some tips. Link to post Share on other sites
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