tooinlove Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I just started my LDR on Friday. I put up a couple of posts already. This just seems to get harder and harder everyday and I don't know what to do... I keep finding things to worry about and it really isn't healthy you know? I think about him every second of every day, wondering what he's doing and what not. I keep doubting him. I'm used to being with him practically 24/7 and this transition really sucks. I'm slowly killing myself by doing this. It doesn't help that the only thing I have to do around here is work and I don't have any true friends to talk to, but I am thankful for my mom. Whenever he doesn't call me on time, I get so worried and stressed out. I need to relax, but I just won't let myself. Can anybody relate? If so, do you have any tips for me? Please I'm desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 It gets harder for a while... and then it gets easier. Really. It's almost the same process as a breakup actually, although they're two rather different things. It takes me a few weeks at least to get used to the distance, each time he comes to visit. I'm so sorry that I can't really say much, since I've gotta go soon. But I hope you'll find the strength to go through with this, and I know the others will have plenty of tips for you. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I don't know that it's normal to doubt him. You're supposed to have 100% trust in an LDR, and I know that's hard to have. But when you doubt them in the beginning, it's not normal. Anyone can feel free to disagree here, but it's just what I think. It does get easier with time. You just have to be strong and not get so down that you don't know how to get back up. You can't sit around and wallow in self-pity all the time because that will drag your relationship down faster than you'd think. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Bearandsue Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 First thing you have to do is stop moping around. Make a real effort to get out and do stuff. Clean house, read a book, go for walks, plan your next visit. If you sit around just stressing about it, it definitely wont get better. Think yourself lucky you will get to see him every month. Sure it wont be the same as seeing him everyday but its better than going months on end without seeing him. I see my husband() only 2 times per year for 2-3 week. I would give my whole left side to be in your situation right now. You have to have trust to be in an LDR. I had my insecurities in the beginning of my LDR but I have learned how to trust him completely. I used to worry about everything. Just hang in there it does get a bit better. Keep busy and trust in what you have and I'm sure things will work out fine. Link to post Share on other sites
LovieDove24 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Tips? Sure. Anytime you put 100% of your energy and happiness in the hands of someone else, you are setting yourself up for failure and anxiety. This is not specific to an LDR--its a general relationship thing. I do not pretend to know all of the dynamics of an LDR, but surely you must have something that makes you happy other than your SO? Things that make you happy will be a helpful distraction for you in painful times like these. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tooinlove Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Thank you all so much. Your advice made me feel a lot better. I'm still open to more. Your words make this time for me a bit easier. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 OP, I think what would change the dynamic of your relationship, is if you two found a way to be closer. Not geographically, but intimately, emotionally etc. Not that it would make the distance just dissapear, but it would change the time you spend apart dramatically. Link to post Share on other sites
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