nevergiveup Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 I've never had sex outside of a serious relationship. I've had a few situations where I could have, but stopped it. As I felt I was taking advantage of the person lying naked in front of me. Deep down I know that deceit is wrong and have lived by this since day one of my understanding it. I'm 23 years old and working hard toward my future. I want to learn to take care of myself before I try to take care of someone else. I want nothing serious at this point in my life, but ultimately don't want to waste my time on something not serious. I'm not like most of my friends my age. I have morals that I try very hard to live by, but still leave myself open to being wrong and learning more and more about myself. One of my morals is that my body is my temple. I choose who to give myself completely too. I try hard not to be what society has created in men my age. I try to learn from the mistakes of yesterday(the mistakes of others), but as the saying goes,"You can't learn until you've experienced it for yourself." A woman I have been sharing my time with, recently gave me a very good sign that she wants to have a friends with benefits relationship(I said, "I'm getting kinda tired." and then she said, "Me too." followed by a wink and a turn of the head to wards my bed) I blew it off, unsure of my own intentions with her. I want the sex as it's been 2 years since my last intimate experience, but am not sure if the consequences are worth the trouble. Add my Moral Factor and the fact that we work together. Plus I'm not sure if I can have this kind of relationship without getting feelings beyond the sex. She's 37 years old and the sex would undoubtedly be the best I've had yet. I also wish to learn from my experience, but think I already know the outcome of these actions. Any advise? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 Plus I'm not sure if I can have this kind of relationship without getting feelings beyond the sex. Wise of you to have doubts about this. From everything else you've said about yourself, you could well be the sort of person for whom emotional and physical involvement must go hand-in-hand. Other than that, objectively there is no reason you should not take her up on her offer. However, this is not at all a subjective decision. Do you have any gut feelings about this at all? If you can, shut off your brain for a sec; what is your first emotion when you think about going forward with a FWB relationship? Is it 'oboy' or is it closer to trepidation? Only you can reconcile your own feelings about doing something like this. If it helps, I have known one fellow who had a similar relationship with an older woman and he was grateful to her for the experience but he had a somewhat different moral outlook than do you. I applaud your thoughtfulness in these matters. You are well on your way to being a wise man. Perhaps some fellows who have had FWBs with older women will share their experiences and their 'after' perspectives. Link to post Share on other sites
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