Who has never heard from their ex again?

[t0ri]

I keep hearing people say, "They always come back when you finally feel indifferent," "He'll contact you once it hits him what has happened and how badly he treated you," "He'll come back when you least expect it," "He'll contact you eventually." Although I wish he'd come back, I don't think he's going to. Last I heard from my ex, I asked him if he wanted me out of his life forever, and he said yes. He's the one who dumped me, came back, and dumped me a second time over the period of 2 months. We've been broken up 4 months, NC for 2. When he told me he wanted me out of his life forever, I believed him. That hurts especially since I never did anything wrong or to deserve to be treated so badly by him and then thrown away like a piece of trash with no understanding of it all.

 

All over this forum are threads about how the dumper contacted their ex at some point or another. I want to hear from people who never heard a word from their ex again (or at least up until this point) after the breakup because I am pretty positive I'll be one of them. I have no closure, so I'm forced to make my own. I'm planning on never ever hearing from him again, and I sure as hell will never break NC. His birthday is on Sunday and I bet he's wondering if I'll wish him a happy one - I won't. I'm not only doing NC for me to heal, but because that's what he wants

 

Does it just start to hurt less that you were suddenly cut from your loved ones life, FOREVER with no explanation or closure? It's the most shocking, confusing, difficult, incredibly hurtful thing I've gone through and I want to hear from others so I don't feel like the only one who has been easily forgotten about completely after being dumped. Have never heard another word!

 

Anyone?

[wow123]

Once about a year and a half ago. It was a short lived relationship (no label), about 2 months long. She just stopped calling me back. Finally got in touch with her said she thought I wasn't into her. I tried to convince her I was but she didn't want to hear it. Haven't heard from her since. Been through 2 breakups since so I don't want to ever hear from her. All of the others eventually contacted me...even the ones I thought never ever would including my most recent whom I told not to call me anymore after she dumped me but she did anyway after a week.

[sedgwick]

Mine dumped me without warning two years ago, and I've never seen him since. He walked out the door giving only the explanation that I'm not a musician (he is), after a year together. One year ago he called me and started chatting like we were old buddies. I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about and he said, "Oh, just getting in touch with people I haven't talked to in a while, and you were first on the list!" I told him I loved him very much and always would, but it was all or nothing. He said, "I can't give all," and I said, "Okay, I love you, bye." That was the last time I heard from him, he's been 100% silent since then. People said all the "he'll come back" stuff to me too, but when he finally did call it was like he had no comprehension whatsoever of having left me sobbing on the bed the last time he saw me. I still love him with all my heart, but I assume I'll never hear from him again.

[pleasebelieveme]

Been since July 30, 2007. While generally I'm fine, and have gotten better over time, there's still not a single day that goes by that I don't wish that she contacts me.

 

-pbm

[PinkToes]

With one exception, none of my ex's ever contacted me after the breakup. The one I'm still in contact with became a friend almost immediately (something I wouldn't recommend!)

 

The thought of never hearing from them again was always painful at the beginning, but now -- with the exception of the most recent -- I doubt I'd bother returning any of their calls. I just don't care anymore.

[andy2009]

I am one who has not been contacted since breakup.

 

But this is also depends of longevity of past relationship.

[adamt]

I hear all this talk of the ex will get back intouch at somepoint but rarely does it seem to be to work things out in the relationship. mostly it seems out of interest to see what you are doing and them wondering if they have missed out on anything. once they find out what you are upto they disappear again.

[EmperorR]

haven't heard from my ex cheating fiance since september of last year, no text no email no phone call nothing

[LadyV]

Since I initiated NC, 47 days ago he has contaced me 3 times. Left a card on my door for my graduation. That was in May. Then last week, I got a forward from him via email...and another one just the other day...

 

I haven't replied. Don't know if I'm going to...He has a new girlfriend now so I don't care and don't want to know how he is doing.

[redy2]

the times ive been dumped. ive always heard from them agaion at some point. ranging from a few weeks to a few months ill hear from um again. either wanting to meet up or just see what im up to. nothing becomes if it beause by then ive done moved on.

[CaliGuy]

Well remember, there is "contact" directly and indirectly. All of my exs have been in indirect contact since the breakup. The one from 4 years ago and the most recent one from last year (though I work with her, I don’t seek her out, she will contact me every few months). The most recent ex only contacts me when the new B/F is treating her like crap. Otherwise, I don't hear a peep from her.

 

Also note that social websites that you don't lock down from people who are not on your friends lists is pretty much an open invitation for your ex to peek into your life. So while they may not be contacting you directly, I'm willing to bet they've peeked at your Facebook or Myspace page to see what you're up to.

 

And more often than you think. They care about you and love you as a person. They just aren't IN LOVE with you. (If they were, they'd be with you now).

[Exit]

I pretty much talk to all of my exs at some point. It always seems like I will never talk to them again, but I do. I know one for certain contacted me first. The others may have been a bit more mutual, just started talking online or whatever. There is one who I am friends with who is helping me get through my current breakup, ironic.

 

I guess if I think really hard there are a couple exs I never hear from, but only from like 2 week long high school relationships. Anybody who I spent a decent amount of time with always talks to me in the end.

[jqb05443]

I have had 3 relationships. The first lasted almost ten years. He broke up with. I thought I would never hear from him again and about 3 months after I changed my number and was dating my current ex he left me a message at work begging me to call him back. I did and he wanted to get back together but I told him NO and that I was happy with someone else now. We still talk to this day once in a blue moon. In between the ten year relationship, we broke up for awhile and I dated a guy for a couple months and he broke up with me basically by never calling me again and never returning my calls. The most messed up part was that he was my friends brother lol.

 

My most recent ex, we were together 3.5 years and believe it or not I am finding it harder getting over this one than my 10 year relationship. This one hurts soooo much more. We have been broken up for 2 months now and during the break up we spoke here and there and hung out a few times. Yesterday he told me that he no longer wants anything to do with me not even as a friend. So I am forced to start NC as of today. I don't think I will ever hear from this one even though this is the one I thought I was going to marry and hurts THE MOST. I am thinking of having his number blocked but then I am conflicted with what if he does try to reach out to me? I guess like my other ex if he really wants to track me down he can.

[notalone]

I have always heard from them..sometimes a few months later and sometimes it had taken years. I am not saying that they come back with love in their hearts and tears in their eyes...nothing like that at all. Just being civil and saying hello. But my recent ex hasnt contacted me at all...been 4 months and nothing..no calls, no text, no email..nothing. And I dont think he ever will contact me.

But then, I felt like that each time a relationship broke. But somehow I always got to speak to them. Life's too long. You never know.

And it's true what they say. When they do come back in your life, motsly you just don't care about the past anymore...neither do they. Feelings and tears and longing eventually goes away. Old heartbreaks make way for new ones.

[motive2002]

I can think of a few exes I've never heard from again. They had made it up in their mind that I was no good for them and moved on with life.

On the other side of the coin, there are some exes of my own that I did the same with.

 

The old saying goes "They are called an ex for a reason" Some people can remain friends with exes, and they always take some kind of pride in that statement for some reason. "Oh i'm still friends with all my exes!" they say, like it makes them a better person or something.

I've never known anyone in my life that hurt me as much as some of my ex-girlfriends have. They can be real nasty sometimes during the break-up. It amazes me how hurtful they can be, especially if you're the one trying to work things out and you felt you hadn't done anything wrong.

 

Yeah, there are a couple exes I would never speak to again. Things got ugly and words were exchanged that were beyond hurtful. I think most people have experienced this at some point in their life.

[Montclair0011]

I have a few that I would never have heard from again, except that I found them on the internet and contacted them. Both were from 25-30+ years ago. One of them was not even sure at first who I was.

 

These are the kind of crazy things I did after my husband left me and I was all alone on the couch with a computer. It turned out to be a therapeutic exercise. I'm still in touch with both of them now on an occasional basis and have seen one of them in person twice. They are both married and so reunion was is of the question, but there were some vestiges of connection that made me somehow feel like I'd had a more interesting life than I had realized.

[sandy12345678993]

My first relationship we broke up 3 different times. The last time we broke up I called him a few times, but he moved away a few weeks later and I never heard from him again. I was heartbroken for months afterwards, but it mended. I met my next ex and had bigger problems to deal with. My second relationship I got pregnant and only heard from the guy a few times afterwards. I was always the one who initiated contact. My son is now 3 and I haven't heard from him in over a year. I have no desire to call him anymore. My third relationship ended 2 months ago. He texted me about a break to deal with a few things and PROMISED me that he was going to come back and be with me. (see my "why didn't he tell me goodbye? post) That was the last that I heard from him and since then his phone has been shut off. I would love to hear from him again, but the longer I wait, the more I think he's not going to. And that breaks my heart all over again.

[gorgio]

I have always been in touch with all of my exes but one where I broke it off and refused to contact her again (it has been over 2 years). She was a little on the crazy side so I guess it was necessary for both of us to move on.

 

The current ex broke up with me and even though we did go through a period of LC (now we are in NC) I suspect that I will never hear from her again, but who knows?

[Faded]

It's been 9months since she and I broke up.

 

She's been in and out of my life 2-3 times since then, Contact for about a week and then gone for a few months. Well, she's back for good now. Still loves me, still thinks we have the insane connection we did, let's just hope I can be everything I want to be this time for her.

[lovebound]

I went thru a similar thing. I dated this guy for about 7 months, spent every day together, we had a big fight, then we broke up. next thing i knew he had a gf, he still called me every day for three months, but i got fed up and told him not to contact me again, so I figured i would not hear from him again, but six months later, he came back, and after two months, he disappeared on me only to reapper a month later. But I was already tired of the game, and gave him an ultimatum (not recommended) and I have not heard from him for about a year exactly. I do not think he will come back, I think it is over for good. But yes, that hurts, and it took me a while to get over him, and I still think of him cause I fell hard for him and had such good times when we were together. Does it gets easier with time? Yeah, you learn how to move on too, but since I have not dated anyone seriously since then, it has not been easy to forget the feelings, they will always be there. So, in time, when I find someone that I really care about and fall in love with, I am sure that 10 years from now, it will be a thing of the past.

[now_what]

My ex has me so mad right at the moment, I almost wish I didn't have to hear from him again.

[D-Lish]

The majority of people I have broken up with or have broken up with me have contacted me again.

 

The last guy I dated, I broke up with at x-mas because he said he couldn't make up his mind about getting serious- so I left him. He still reaches out and tries to re-establish the connection.

 

You do get over it, and there does come a time when you just don't care if you hear from them again or not.

[mark982]

never heard from any ex's whether ex wives or gf's. only one i would like to talk to though. not to get together but just talk to,she was just plain ol good people.

[sunshinegirl]

I haven't heard from my ex. It's a weird good/sad thing: it would almost certainly do me no good on the healing front to hear from him. And my brain knows he is bad news and an inappropriate relationship partner.

 

OTOH, I think the ego wound still smarts and that part of me wishes there would be some kind of contact. Not to get back together but to hear some kind of apology. I'm not holding my breath but it still makes me sad to think I've pretty much been erased from his memory.

[now_what]

That's the way I feel too, after 30 years together, I feel like I didn't really exist to him. He has just gone and created a new life for himself, without a thought about the ones he left behind. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he would just disappear, but I don't want my kids to not have a dad, even if he is a stupid , selfish jerk at the moment.