Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Yesterday, my extremely hot trainer gave me a ride home from the gym (I live about a mile away, so I walked up, hence no car). We have known each other for years, and he is a pro body builder, so, suffice to say, he is not only physically magnificent looking, but also a total sweetheart. And very married. When he dropped me off, he asked if he could use the restroom. Er, sure. Afterwards, he came out to the kitchen, noticed the pool, and walked outside. I followed him to the pool, and once outside, we were standing up, chatting for a few minutes about who knows what (nothing important - probably fitness), and then he leaned in to kiss me. Ut, oh! Now, again, I find him very attractive, and I love his personality. In another scenario, ie. he was SINGLE, I would have been all over it. HOWEVER, HE IS MARRIED. So, I politely declined the advance, and told him it was best to NOT complicate our friendship. I thought about it later, because he really is very yummy, and then I thought to myself how I SO don't want to be "that person". The point of all this, is that for all of the OW and OM who say they just couldn't help themselves, ah, BS on that. There is a point in which all OW/OM can make a conscious decision and choice, exercise a little self-control and NOT involve themselves with a married person. See how I did it? It's really not that hard, and ultimately, will spare EVERYONE involved a lot of pain, heartache, disappointment, drama, and unhappiness. Now, if he winds up single one day... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Now, if he winds up single one day... yea but if he's so great and becomes single he'll have chicks all over him like white on rice and you'll be just another number. you missed your chance. maybe you can invite him over for a chicken dinner sometime. wait he's probably vegetarian so you better make it a veggie lasagna dinner Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 gave me a ride home from the gym noticed the pool, and walked outside. he leaned in to kiss me. best to NOT complicate our friendship Hey you hot thing, Are you going to keep going to the gym and have this guy as a trainer? Hmmm.... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Why did you have to post this? LOL. I just left the gym and my trainer is absolutely yummy too!!! But I am the VERY married one. He's the single one. Yeah. Just say no. I see him giving me the eyes wondering if I might either make a move or accept one from him. No haps. I do NOT have time for that kind of drama. Forget the talk about being "that person". Its drama. Too much drama. And, I don't want to put up with all the extra scrutiny my H would rightly put me through if I got caught. But he does look delicious. And married sex does go through ho-hum spells. Oh well. I have to pass on the well-stacked trainer. Good thing tonight was my last session with him. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 A - yes, I am. I'm not going to be drummed out of the gym because of his pass. He'll still be nice eye candy. lol NID - yes, he was hard to resist, but I honestly don't think any one person on the planet is tempting enough for me to lose my self-respect and start sleeping with someone else's man. Good for YOU for not following up on his flirtations. Maybe you should fix him up with me. ha ha! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 A - yes, I am. I'm not going to be drummed out of the gym because of his pass. He'll still be nice eye candy. lol Well, He got pretty darned close this time. (And you are pretty sexual) Yeah, he's married blah blah... (and ready). Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Why didnt you decline him coming into the house in the first place. You know women make alot of excuses. I think maybe subsciously you wanted him there.... maybe, possibly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Well, He got pretty darned close this time. (And you are pretty sexual) Yeah, he's married blah blah... (and ready). He wasn't that close to the nethers. lol. But, he clearly would have liked to have been. Yes, I am rampantly sexual, as you know , but, married dude? Ut uh. Plenty of quality c*ck out there that is not attached to someone else's guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Why didnt you decline him coming into the house in the first place. You know women make alot of excuses. I think maybe subsciously you wanted him there.... maybe, possibly. You're right. I should have told him all of my toilets were broken, and could he possibly use the bush around the corner. And excuses for WHAT? lol. Perhaps you didn't read the whole story, but nothing happened and I turned him DOWN. Reread it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 He wasn't that close to the nethers. lol. But, he clearly would have liked to have been. Yes, I am rampantly sexual, as you know , but, married dude? Ut uh. Plenty of quality c*ck out there that is not attached to someone else's guy. lol Well, you can do it JB.. Just say "NO" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 lol Well, you can do it JB.. Just say "NO" A - I'd sooner go back to shagging bi-cop than a married dude. Now THAT is drama!!! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 You know, the best thing about turning down a MM's advances? Watching him squirm the next time he sees you. Because YOU have the upperhand. So many times the OW says that she doesn't have any power in the relationship. But she ALWAYS had the upperhand. ALWAYS. The MM is the one that's uncertain of whether or not she's going to be offended that some confused married guy is inviting her into a world of hurt and drama. But that's why they keep making the advances until they get a woman that accepts. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 You're right. I should have told him all of my toilets were broken, and could he possibly use the bush around the corner. And excuses for WHAT? lol. Perhaps you didn't read the whole story, but nothing happened and I turned him DOWN. Reread it. I did read it... and women make excuses all the times and be frontin. You knew what you was doing. lol. But im glad you just said no. you have willpower. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I did read it... and women make excuses all the times and be frontin. You knew what you was doing. lol. But im glad you just said no. you have willpower. I agree with you, but I disagree with you too. Sometimes women make the mistake of thinking that the married guys that they know are somehow safe. That that married guy would NEVER do THAT (come on to them). I've had gay guy friends come on to me. And you KNOW I thought THEY were safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 You know, the best thing about turning down a MM's advances? Watching him squirm the next time he sees you. Because YOU have the upperhand. So many times the OW says that she doesn't have any power in the relationship. But she ALWAYS had the upperhand. ALWAYS. The MM is the one that's uncertain of whether or not she's going to be offended that some confused married guy is inviting her into a world of hurt and drama. But that's why they keep making the advances until they get a woman that accepts. Very, very true. Which is why women with poor self-esteem usually end up in those scenarios. Just think of all the misery spared if people only had a little more self-control. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I've had gay guy friends come on to me. And you KNOW I thought THEY were safe. they were just pretending to be homosexuals so that they could get into your pants. this is a fairly common phenomena among men who find it hard to get sex thru normal channels. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 I did read it... and women make excuses all the times and be frontin. You knew what you was doing. lol. But im glad you just said no. you have willpower. Still makes no sense. Would you have preferred I told him he was not allowed into my house to pee? That I can't allow married men into my house? Gimme a break. I don't know why people try to make stuff up where it doesn't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 they were just pretending to be homosexuals so that they could get into your pants. this is a fairly common phenomena among men who find it hard to get sex thru normal channels. LOL. I wish I could believe this was true. But I actually saw them in relationships with other men. After seeing this, I certainly thought they were safe. I don't think I know of any man that would actually do this just to get into a woman's pants. That's beyond pathetic and desperate. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Sometimes women make the mistake of thinking that the married guys that they know are somehow safe. That that married guy would NEVER do THAT (come on to them). I've had gay guy friends come on to me. And you KNOW I thought THEY were safe. Very true, but this is someone I have known for 5 years, and he was never once inappropriate, so him asking to use the restroom didn't seem like the big invitation for sex from me as Chrome seems to think it was. lol What's with the gay guy thing! Not fair! lol Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Still makes no sense. Would you have preferred I told him he was not allowed into my house to pee? That I can't allow married men into my house? Gimme a break. I don't know why people try to make stuff up where it doesn't exist. I dont know , just some people are real cautious about letting people in there houses, even if they dont truly know them. The way you gushed and fawned about him from your very first post indicated you was attracted to him. I read between the lines and you dont seem to see what we do. Like I said... your not so oblivious about this guy, you should have been cautious when letting him into your house, you could have told him my toilet is having problems but you was being nice I get it. but it's a slippery slope. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 I dont know , just some people are real cautious about letting people in there houses, even if they dont truly know them. The way you gushed and fawned about him from your very first post indicated you was attracted to him. I read between the lines and you dont seem to see what we do. Like I said... your not so oblivious about this guy, you should have been cautious when letting him into your house, you could have told him my toilet is having problems but you was being nice I get it. but it's a slippery slope. lol. Yes, I'm attracted to him, but I'm attracted to a lot of guys. I like men. It wasn't the first time he's been to my house, actually. He was over three other times over the years. Once with the owner of the gym, once for a party I had, and once with my yoga instructor. Still, doesn't mean that allowing him in to use the restroom was any kind of subliminal attempt to seduce him. I mean, it's not like we went out for drinks here. It was 11AM on a weekday. I DO get what you're saying, and I DO think a lot of women test situations with married men. This, however, wasn't one of them, because if you knew me better, you'd know I'm pretty in charge of my sexuality, and if I felt like shagging him, I would have. No games, no tests. The point of the thread was really to illustrate that people can make choices BEFORE they screw up a bunch of lives, all for a little nookie. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 The point of the thread was really to illustrate that people can make choices BEFORE they screw up a bunch of lives, all for a little nookie. But most people don't do it only for a little nookie. Its more likely they do it to build up weak egos or for attention that they aren't getting otherwise - both the married and the OP that helps them betray their marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My neighbor Lady has been trying to hit on me for months. She arranges to "drop by", when my wife is visiting my daughter, up state. She's much younger and wicked hot, but also much-divorced and willing to run with the big dogs. I say No about once a month. My wife laughs at her.:laugh: If I were single, would I sample her? Of course! But I'm not, so I won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 You'se guys are so great and commendable. You'se guys was nice in not letting these jokahs into your homez. I woulda told him my toilert was busted or sometin'. It's a slippery slowpe you know? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My neighbor Lady has been trying to hit on me for months. She arranges to "drop by", when my wife is visiting my daughter, up state. She's much younger and wicked hot, but also much-divorced and willing to run with the big dogs. I say No about once a month. My wife laughs at her.:laugh: If I were single, would I sample her? Of course! But I'm not, so I won't. I felt a HUGE attraction to my recently divorced neighbor last year. Besides a huge age gap, cultural and racial differences - we got along great. I was helping him help his son manage the divorce and the custody battle that was about to brew up. When I say I felt an attraction, I'm talking from him to me. But he backed waaaaaay off right around the time that I noticed it. Back to waving from across the street and saying hi when we see each other. No more long talks in his kitchen about his D or his son. We spoke so much, my H started calling him my boyfriend. LOL Second to workplaces, aren't neighbors the other biggest group engaging in affairs? Link to post Share on other sites
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