School v Friend: Am I being selfish??

[JayJay]

I have a best friend who means a lot to me. She is very strong-minded though, sometimes to the point of being self-centred. Everything is in black and white and although 95% of our relationship is based on mutual respect, I sometimes feel like I have to (at least appear to) conform myself around her belief system.

 

ANYWAY, we are all in our final year of university and finish in 4 weeks. My subjects finish earlier than hers and I have 2 essays due and an exam early next week. The problem is, her birthday party is tomorrow night (her bday isn't actually until next week). She knows that I am totally stressed out about my study - as are most of our friends at the moment - so she is only having a small gathering. I called her today to tell her that things were going desperately downhill with my essays and that I would be at the party a bit later, and she basically said that she would rather I turn up earlier because it wasn't going to be late anyway.

 

I was surprised at her demand because I really only called out of politeness; it suits me better to get as much work done as possible and relax later in the night, rather than having my schedule disrupted early on. I am freaking out about the work I have to do and resent her for causing me more stress. I am going to the party because I know how tough minded she is and don't want to lose our friendship over something so trivial. The question is: am I being unreasonable? How can I push aside the hostile mentality I now have so that I won't be acrimonious tomorrow night???

[yes]

if i were you, i'd simply show up late and say smth like "sorry I'm late". if she asks why you can say that you were making sure you've got enough done that you can actually BE at her party, and not be thinking back to your essays.

 

not huge deal - she likely doesn't realize how stressed you are. that's my take.

 

have fun,

-yes