sullenboy Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 You know, I've dealed with the same stuff as Ms. Long Legz... I still struggle with it everyday. People have a hard time "Getting" me. My close friends and family consider me a joy and a breath of life to their lives. They always say I'm funny, they love me, I'm so cool and creative. Yet...I still have a hard time believing it..I can't be comfortable with myself and I feel like, Sure everybody has bad days and I know that there are People dying in other countries and babies dying of AIDS in Africa and horrible suicide bombings going on... But I still cannot get my brain to destroy the dark sides of wanting to end my life. I feel Like Mel Gibson In Lethal Weapon sometimes. SOme days he'd be so down and so ready to put a bullet in his head, Yet he was crazy and funny and could do his job perfectly. It sounds dumb, but thats me. My point was only to say that, Yeah, I hear ya Long Legz, I know what it's like. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 sullenboy - you know we got chemicals inside us that can get messed up, right? They can make you believe things are hopeless when they really are not. If you find you feel awful often, please see a doc. You don't want to let some dumb body chemistry flaw ruin your whole life when it's easily fixed. take care! Link to post Share on other sites
TheDonny Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Listen Sullenboy. You are a person (obviously) and people are going to miss you. But if that doesn't smite the darkness from your mind then maybe my story will. I attempted suicide a few years ago. But as I was commiting to dying I realized that if I was going to end it all, I might as well stay alive and do whatever the hell I want. So now I LIVE LIFE by my own rules and I love every minute of it. The quality and enjoyability of everything around me seems to have increased ten fold. By the way what was your reason for wanting to end it all. Mine was having everyday be the same exact thing. Boredom took over my life and I became depressed. But now I'm happy! Link to post Share on other sites
Fodie Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 Originally posted by TheDonny Listen Sullenboy. You are a person (obviously) and people are going to miss you. But if that doesn't smite the darkness from your mind then maybe my story will. I attempted suicide a few years ago. But as I was commiting to dying I realized that if I was going to end it all, I might as well stay alive and do whatever the hell I want. So now I LIVE LIFE by my own rules and I love every minute of it. The quality and enjoyability of everything around me seems to have increased ten fold. By the way what was your reason for wanting to end it all. Mine was having everyday be the same exact thing. Boredom took over my life and I became depressed. But now I'm happy! Thank you, that is what i need to apply to my life as well. and im serious Link to post Share on other sites
mattdad Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Can I ask you a few questions? 1. When you get into this deep funk, does it seem kind of like a chronic, deep-lying pain within, as if you're not a person that makes mistakes, but in fact IS a mistake? 2. Do you doubt everything you do, and that you honestly believe in your heart that nothing will ever get better? 3. Does being by yourself trigger fear that no one loves you or cares about you? If you do, then I heartily implore you to find help. This sort of chronic-self-hatred doesn't go away by itself. I know, for I've been working at healing wounds from my distant past for the last ten years - it's scary, but. There's no better time than the present to find the care you need to heal the relationship with yourself. Please keep us informed about how you're doing, because WE care about you! Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 Sullen- prozac (and my cat) saved my life. i still struggle daily why i have to be here. but anti-depressants do help. at first i refused to take them , i would hide the pills like i took them, i thought if i took them that it would make me better, i really i didn't want to live anyway, and figiured if i took it i would. but it doesn't work that way. i have been off and on it for 4-5 yrs now. each time i go off i start getting suicidal, and self destructive. i still do harm to myself and i do have very low days still, but at least i can function now. Link to post Share on other sites
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