Any thoughts?

[Forever loving life]

Like so many other people, I have been very much affected by the economy. My home has been on the market for more than 1 year and I lost 2 jobs in 2008. Plus, I have experienced an array of other problems since February of 2008. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and I am the one taking her to all of her appointments. I have had car problems, and was also involved in a traumatic event.

 

Recently, my friend moved in with me and is doing some of the driving to ease my stress level. My friend and I are both doing a lot for my mom and all my mom can do is complain. My friend just moved from out of state, so she is getting settled in. My mom complains that my friend and I don't have jobs and that my friend is driving my car when she is taking my mom to appointments for me. My friend and I are both adults, we don't need people telling us what to do. I also have an in-law that is causing the same problems with my lack of a job. The same in-law is complaining that I am not there for my mom enough, when for so long, it felt like I was one of the only people that was there for her. My mom asks my friend if I am looking for a job and she asks me if my friend is looking for a job. As if any of this is my mom's business.

 

It is bad enough that my family is bashing my struggles, they don't need to bring my friend into it too. It has gotten to the point that I don't even want to spend time with my family because it seems that all they will do is complain about all of my life struggles. As if I don't already have enough stress, now I have to deal with everyone else telling me what a mess my life is when I have no control over what is happening in the economy.

 

Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can deal with all the negative thoughts from my family? I also need them to stop badgering my friend too.

[ON MY OWN]

I am sorry to hear about your house. Things are tough all over I think. There are a lot of us out there that definitely need some relief in that respect. As far as your family goes they are probably very worried about you. But there is a thing called boundaries and if you feel they are overstepping them to the point where it is affecting you, then you should say something to put a stop to it IMO. You can think of a smart way of saying it or you can say it straight out in a respectful and loving yet firm way, however if you do not you can pretty much expect that it will continue.

 

Good luck to you as you sound like a wonderful person who is probably at a place in your life where you could use support:D vs bashing.

[Sweetcheripie]

She is your mother and she has cancer. She is worried about you. The other family members - none of their business - but if your mom asks, give her a little break. Tell the other family members you need help asap.

 

Your mom is sick and probably not feeling well at all. She may be worried about dying and leaving you when things aren't going great for you and she may feel guilty about that.

 

What stage is her cancer? Has Hospice been called? They can help A LOT!

 

If she is doing well and she is just being over-bearing it is ok to tell her.

 

Regarding your house, are you upside down? Is it priced too high?

Have a couple of other realtors than the one you have listing it come through and give you a couple of market comparisons. See if taking it off for a couple of weeks, staging it (this can be done by just decluttering and sometimes moving furniture around), then relisting it might create some interest.

 

I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate. If the family and your mom are dishing your friend maybe your friend should not help. I would definitely talk to the family and ask that they step up.