PinkCrayon03 Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 OKay I met my boyfriend on the internet thru sum friendz. He wus real sweet we've been dating for about 2 years and 4 months i did meet him last year in person offline he wus such a gentlemen.. also like he always tells me he loves me and stuff like that and i kno wut he wunts to buy me for christmas this year cuz im flying over there, we usually have arguements on the phone about looking at other girls becuase i keep thinking he does that when hes with me in person cuz i see him doing it an he said no im not an he gets mad at me, above all i do love him but like he always tends to look at other girls it makes me feel like i am ugly an they are prettier then me.. an he wont even say he does he says "i love only u an u r the most beautifull girl in the whole world." so like.. he is sweet an i think he does mean that he loves me.. but like i've been doing some snooping around in his past message boards hes been going to because he doesnt kno i read his posts at another board that he USED to go to a long time ago before he knew me, and he told me about his ex's like how he never liked them his friends pressured him to date them and stuff. like this one girl he told me he dated her in october of freshmen year, well i saw a post from him like july 2nd 2001 that he wus dating her an im like..didnt he tell me he wus dating her around october? i dunno.. unless he wus lying to his friends or me, but he said in the post "My gf is lying ignoring me an cheating on me with her ex and my heart is sore, and she makes me feel like i can do anything in the world whenever i hear her voice i love and adore her i dont know what to do" and im like...he said those things to me.. so i felt bad like, i am not the one to make him feel like that first she wus, is it that all boys use the same lines or is that the only thing they can say, do they really mean it? does he mean it? please help me an thanks for listening i am confused. Link to post Share on other sites
geebz Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 let him look..... can you honestly say you don't "look" at other guys? it's a simple case of jealousy... i just hope you get over jealous, it can ruin a relationship. jealousy is normal, but needs to be controlled... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 This is an example of how insecurity can make you crazy. You are quibbling about whether it was July or October two years ago? You spend time accusing him of looking at other women? I'm starting to think I could make several million dollars on training people to be secure in themselves! You could, of course, be having doubts about the relationship and looking for reasons for it to tank - but going back two years is getting way out of line. You have to figure out for yourself if it's doubts you have or if it is your insecurity. If the first, you need to figure out why. If the second, you need to learn to kill the insecure thoughts when they start to bug you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkCrayon03 Posted November 1, 2003 Author Share Posted November 1, 2003 Does this actually mean that when he looks at other women he fantasizes of them as hot or marrying them? I mean he tells me he loves me over and over and over again, and he actually cries in front of me when he says it he says he means it.. But I want to know why he said the same things he told his ex girlfriend and he told me but he tells me he never really loved her, but I know what it wus like becuase he got cheated on then. And no i dont look at other guys i only love him. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Looking at other women means he's alive and breathing. It does not mean he wants every woman he sees. The man cries when he says he loves you and you still don't believe him? How would you feel if every time you told him you loved him, he said 'I don't believe you'. That's what you are doing to him. You will kill his love for you if you don't quit that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkCrayon03 Posted November 1, 2003 Author Share Posted November 1, 2003 Well I do.. but .. I just miss him I wish that he was with me but he talks to me every single day on the celphone 24/7.. and he talks to me about everything and right now im speaking to him while typing this and he's like mad at me cuz im not telling him what i am writing about and im making up stupid lies becuase i dont want him to know what's bugging me. . . cuz then he'll think im snooping around and he always asks me why i dont trust him or believe him.. and im like i do...... what should i do? I love him , i dont know anymore i wus fine then but i think it wus cuz he subscribed to some porn magazine a while back when i wus in europe an when i came back he unsubscribed but i found it in his e-mail and never told me about it but i always knew an i always felt like this but he doesnt do it anymore after i told him not to look at porn an he told me not 2 do the same cuz its a form of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Believe him when he says he wants only you. That's all you need to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PinkCrayon03 Posted November 2, 2003 Author Share Posted November 2, 2003 ok..but i dont know why im so like that.. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ-TK Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 I think you're like that from the first place, cause you feel very insecure... Maybe he does not complement you enough or saying "too much" good things on other girls, which make you feel like he finds you less attrective or pretty than others... I think it also depends on how he looks at other girls you know... He can just look for a few seconds, and he can really check them out you know... If you see him starring at some girl's butt or something, I can understand how you feel insecure... Link to post Share on other sites
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