mr_roggger Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 We were "ok" together when I saw my ex last (making Christmas arrangements / meeting eachother next), but then she tells me that she doesn't really want to be with me any more. Now she won't even be plesant to me on the phone and isn't willing to meet me at present. I know I should wait, but she won't even give me chance to suggest meeting in a couple of weeks or so (i.e. waiting) before assuming that I want to see her "now" etc. "I have thought that one reson she won't talk to me right now is because she is afraid that her feelings for me might come back when she meets me and make her feel bad/upset etc." Is this a sensible idea, or complete fantasy on my part. If it is a sensible idea, what could I do about it, or is there nothing for me to do about it. for the full story, see my post here "really want my ex back" I had to post this here now as its on/in my mind right now and I can't get to sleep without saying something. Thanks for all the advice in the past... Link to post Share on other sites
ArdeaCandidissima Posted November 12, 2003 Share Posted November 12, 2003 Sounds like a fantasy, but hey, if it feels good to play that movie in your head, there's no harm in it. My standard advice is to leave doors open (no drunken, tearful calls at 3 am), but move on with your life. Men (or women) who have happy, full lives (or at least fake it well) are just somehow more attractive to exes than those who weep, cling and fill their bedsheets with Oreo crumbs or drunken strangers. Better make some holiday plans that DON'T include your ex. Do something different from your usual arrangements. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr_roggger Posted November 12, 2003 Author Share Posted November 12, 2003 I haven't contacted her in any way since 29th. I am coping a little better each day, but it is still very hard. I think that this time apart, will at least stop her being pushed even further away from me, if not bring us back a little closer as the bad thing that happened last time may fade with some good memories of us possibly taking it's place. I know this is wishful thinking, but I believe that at least not contacting her is giving us both space, which is what we need. I have been going out with friends a lot more now, and am getting on at university just fine (I am ok when I am thinking about work etc. as that means my mind is on something else!), so hopefully she'll see this as being attractive, rather than me appearing to be clinging onto her. This is a change for me, I am changing my ways (self-esteem, trust etc.) very slowly, and I hope that when I meed up with her someday she will se this. Rest assured that I am not going to plead to her to take me back, nor am I going to reassure her that I have changed. If I have, she can see that for herself. I miss her dearly still, and I think that, even if we don't get together again, that there will always be a place in my heart for her. I hope that she will remember me just as fondly one day too. However, I will leave it at least another 2 weeks before I even *think* about contacting her... Link to post Share on other sites
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