nassersombat Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 [font=times new roman][/font][color=black][/color] I was looking for answers and I hope that you guys can help. I started dating my girlfriend about 1 1/2 years ago. She is 24 I am 25.We met at school and we were perfect together. We never argued, traveled alot, had alot of mutual friends, and enjoyed everything together. A month ago she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship right now. That was a bomb shell to me. I thought we had great communication and we spent 4-5 days a wk together hanging out and learning new things together. We would actually laugh at other people who weren't happy in a relationship. To be fair here is alittle background on her. Youngest of 7 children and still lives at home. Just got out of a 7 year relationship with her last boyfriend and jumped into a relationship with me. Has alot of guy friends. Very faithful to me in the whole relationship and respectful of me. When she told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship I said that I can deal with that but I asked her if we could start over and just be "dating". She said that she could try that and we also agreed (at my request) that even though we would go back to just dating that we would keep a promise to keep ourself for each other. She also agreed to that and I said that we could just go from there and see what happens. Since then she doesn't call me very much and often makes excuses why she won't go out. 2 days ago she agreed to have dinner with me and I took her to one of the best resataurants in Boston and said it was "just because". We had an awesome time together and we talked about previous trips that we had gone on together. At the end of the dinner I gave her a ring telling her that I "care" about her alot and that she was very important in my life. It looked like she was going to cry and she put the ring on her finger and we kissed. Well, yestarday she gave me the ring back saying that she would feel guilty taking the ring from me. She said that she didn't feel right since she was "single". Here are some of what she has said to me. "You feel like a good friend to me and I am not sure about romantically speaking" "I am not looking to be in a relationship with anyone I just want to be single" "I want to be single so I don't have to deal with relationhips" "It hurts me to hear your voice or see your face" Those are a few things that she has said to me lately and here is my question. I love this girl very much and I know that this is someone that I could spend the rest of my life with given an opportunity. Btw when I don't call her in a few days then she leaves really sweet voicemails for me telling me that she hopes that I have an awesome day etc. Or she will call me 3-4 times in a day to talk to me. Do I stop calling her all together or just be her friend? I have told her that I would wait for her and that their wasn't anyone else in my life that I would rather be and that waiting was just a small price to pay to be with the one you love. I know I probably sound really foolish but, if you care about someone as much as I care about her then emotions just take over. Link to post Share on other sites
the1dman Posted November 1, 2003 Share Posted November 1, 2003 Run. Run fast and far. I know...it's a lot easier to say it than actually do it. It sounds like your girlfriend wants to 'explore' other relationships. AND she wants to make sure that you don't stray too far...that's why she calls you every few days. I my experience this is one of the dumbest, cruelest and selfish games that women play. She wants to see if there is something better out there but does not want to let you go...just in case she does not find someone or it does not work out. Try this...don't take her calls....be too busy to talk when she calls...just ignore her for a week or two. I know...it will be VERY DIFFICULT to do this. When you do talk to her act like you are totally over her and have moved on. Don't be mean to her...be mysterious...let her wonder what you are up to. I would be willing to bet that she will come back to you. The question for you is this...If this is how you have to get her back...Do you want her? Will she do this again? What do you do if she does? Do you want to play this game? Good Luck! D Link to post Share on other sites
Author nassersombat Posted November 2, 2003 Author Share Posted November 2, 2003 Not taking her calls will be very hard for me. If not calling her is what you suggest then I would do it and play her games. Part of me still can't believe that she has done this to me. Part of me looks in her eyes and I don't see the same person that I met or embraced so many nights. I thought that this woman could never hurt me the way that she has. Her friends said that if I was always faithful to her that I would always have her heart. If she decides to come back to me then I am going to play it alot different with her. I won't call her as much. I had always thought that calling everday to say goodnite or a simple "I love you" was kosher. Not anymore, never will I let a woman make me shed a tear over her. Link to post Share on other sites
mewbomb Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Nasser, I feel the same way, maybe calling too much is what pusshed them away. Im in the same boat... thinking that those little calls here and there were too much. But how come at the time all this was happening, i didn't stop calling... who knows!@?@# Either way, both you and I will learn from this. DONT CALL ALL THE TIME!!! Well...thats all i wanted to say...and to those of you in a relationship right now. If you feel you are calling too much... YOU PROBABLY ARE!@# Good luck everyone... Link to post Share on other sites
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