Recentl Hurt

[Charlie]

Just this week I discovered that my girlfriend was cheating on me with one of my best friends. This has been devestating and I don't know what to do. Its all I think about. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't smile. I really love this girl, but there is no way that I want to get back with her. My friends are trying to help me get over this, but nothing works. If I am at home I wish she was there, if I am out I wish she was there. Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds. But, I can't take this right now. This is the worst that I have ever felt in my life. I feel betrayed by both her and him. She was even telling me that she loved me up till last week and friend was even asking me for rides to work. There were some signs, but I trusted them both. What do I do? How can I stop this feeling and move on? Will I ever be able to trust someone again?

[Tony T]

If you tell me how you can love someone who cheats on you with your best friend?

 

You have no choice but to go through the healing process and you will trust again.

 

This was an unfortunate and tragic event in your life. However, you should be singing praises that this didn't happen after you got married and had three kids.

 

You feel betrayed because you were betrayed. You were born in an era where morals and ethics are at a premium. The world will never be perfect and people seem to be going backwards in their tendency to be humane, kind and moral. So you have to learn to live with it. Stick to your own principles and move forward.

 

You'll get over this in due time. Don't bend your friends' ears too much, though, they'll get sick of hearing about it. Talk to a counsellor, a clergyman or whomever else you trust.

 

Get it out of your system. Read some books in the self help section that deal with loss and betrayal. They'll help a lot to.

 

This too shall pass.

[Miranda]

Unfortunately, you now know you your REAL friends are NOT.

 

You WILL get over this, and you WILL learn to trust again.

 

The relationship is over with that girlfriend and your 'best friend'. Life WILL go on. Many of us posters here are living proof.

 

Be a little selfish now. Think of yourself. Do some things for yourself. Go to a movie, go on a hike, get outside and get some sunshine. Talk to your friends. Write a angry letter to your ex- and ex-friend and do not send it. Keep a journal of your feelings: the anger, shock, disbelief, sadness, thoughts of revenge....purge those feelings so that you can heal yourself.

 

You can't control their actions, but what you CAN do is cut them out of your life. Absolutely NO contact with them.

 

With friends like these....who needs enemies?

 

Good luck.

[billythe kid]

another thing that helps is getting out, and I don't mean going out to clubs, some people think that by finding a new mate things will get better, but you will still be toting around excess baggage... get plenty of excersize,, even it is just a walk... change the path you are walking on now.. do some or alot of things different.... leave town for the weekend... go camping with friends...just be a different person, even try new foods, change it all... once with an ex of mine I couldn't stop thinking about her untill I stopped eating a cheese cracker we use to eat while watching tv.... time and changing your routine will really help... good luck..

If you tell me how you can love someone who cheats on you with your best friend? You have no choice but to go through the healing process and you will trust again. This was an unfortunate and tragic event in your life. However, you should be singing praises that this didn't happen after you got married and had three kids. You feel betrayed because you were betrayed. You were born in an era where morals and ethics are at a premium. The world will never be perfect and people seem to be going backwards in their tendency to be humane, kind and moral. So you have to learn to live with it. Stick to your own principles and move forward. You'll get over this in due time. Don't bend your friends' ears too much, though, they'll get sick of hearing about it. Talk to a counsellor, a clergyman or whomever else you trust. Get it out of your system. Read some books in the self help section that deal with loss and betrayal. They'll help a lot to. This too shall pass.

[MA]

HI,

 

I totally agree with Billy, I had to go out and buy all new bedroom stuff b/c going to sleep reminded me too much of him being there. We had slept with the same sheets, comforter etc.. for over a year. Hopefully you won't have to go to that extreme but the concept is still the same. Exercise works great, go out with friends you haven't seen in a while or maybe do things you couldn't or wouldn't do b/c you were in a relationship. Time will help you get over this, it always seems like it will never end in the beginning, but one day you will meet someone so right and this whole situation will be funny to you. Also there is no way in hell you would cheat on someone after knowing how bad it felt to you.

 

Good luck.

another thing that helps is getting out, and I don't mean going out to clubs, some people think that by finding a new mate things will get better, but you will still be toting around excess baggage... get plenty of excersize,, even it is just a walk... change the path you are walking on now.. do some or alot of things different.... leave town for the weekend... go camping with friends...just be a different person, even try new foods, change it all... once with an ex of mine I couldn't stop thinking about her untill I stopped eating a cheese cracker we use to eat while watching tv.... time and changing your routine will really help... good luck..