Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 a co-worker just told me that i seem to be back, in mind and body, and seemingly better than ever. i told her that's just because she forgot how cool i really am in these couple of months. then, i went to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, and told myself you're really getting there. keep it up. admittedly, i felt the tears well up into my eyes but nothing else. i didn't try to resist. if i had to cry, i was just going to let it happen. i'm lonely, though. i want my daughter to come back. i want my wife to snap out of it still. i want my life back. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 One night stand! One night stand!!!! Splatter, then Scatter. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 exactly. i IM with my buddy all day here at work, and i don't want to tell him about it. his gf will stir the pot a bit. it was a bit creepy. she's very, very attractive though. i'll give her that much. LOL, so do you actually do any work then MMI? Cause your IMing your buddy AND you're on here! LOL If the lady was joking, one would hope she would have put an LOL or j/k, but that very much depends on if she knows and is used to text language? Did you actaully sign off before going to bed, as in, you were chatting with her, then you said, thanks for the chat but it's late I must go, or did you just leave without doing that? Only it sounds like you did leave without doing that? Would you just hang up the phone without saying goodbye? See, IF that's the case, she probably is p*****d, but to be honest? I would be too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 LOL, so do you actually do any work then MMI? Cause your IMing your buddy AND you're on here! LOL If the lady was joking, one would hope she would have put an LOL or j/k, but that very much depends on if she knows and is used to text language? Did you actaully sign off before going to bed, as in, you were chatting with her, then you said, thanks for the chat but it's late I must go, or did you just leave without doing that? Only it sounds like you did leave without doing that? Would you just hang up the phone without saying goodbye? See, IF that's the case, she probably is p*****d, but to be honest? I would be too! haha. yes, i get work done. the im is actually inter office e-mail. no, i told her i had to go do some cleaning/arranging in my daughter's room, and i'd be back later, but then i went to bed. it doesn't matter. i know i'm not ready for it. i had enough debauchery 2 weeks ago to know i don't need to do that again, right now. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 haha. yes, i get work done. the im is actually inter office e-mail. no, i told her i had to go do some cleaning/arranging in my daughter's room, and i'd be back later, but then i went to bed. it doesn't matter. i know i'm not ready for it. i had enough debauchery 2 weeks ago to know i don't need to do that again, right now. Oh OK, well there really should have been a LOL there then! Think you're right there MMI, I remember the incident and how upset you were. Take your time! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 Oh OK, well there really should have been a LOL there then! Think you're right there MMI, I remember the incident and how upset you were. Take your time! i will, thank you. i'm pacing myself from here on in. i know i'm going to fall back down again at some point, and i just don't want to have someone else even remotely in the picture. honestly, right now, there isn't a woman in the world as beautiful as my wife. no offense lisa, i've seen your pictures, and you are a knockout, but i still love my wife, you know? i'm really not longing, but i still have her halfway on the pedestal i had placed her on in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 i will, thank you. i'm pacing myself from here on in. i know i'm going to fall back down again at some point, and i just don't want to have someone else even remotely in the picture. honestly, right now, there isn't a woman in the world as beautiful as my wife. no offense lisa, i've seen your pictures, and you are a knockout, but i still love my wife, you know? i'm really not longing, but i still have her halfway on the pedestal i had placed her on in my mind. LOL, no offence taken MMI and thanks for the compliment. You may change your mind when you see Broken though! Now she is a knockout! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 LOL, no offence taken MMI and thanks for the compliment. You may change your mind when you see Broken though! Now she is a knockout! no freakin kidding. doesn't change my opinion on you though. some dumbass men in this world. Link to post Share on other sites
WTFO Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Geeesch, How many post do i need to see pictures??? Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 myself. i haven't been myself for months because of the torment i've put myself through due to this woman's actions. that's what. myself. then, i went to the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, and told myself you're really getting there. keep it up. admittedly, i felt the tears well up into my eyes but nothing else. i didn't try to resist. if i had to cry, i was just going to let it happen. Your getting there man, I think were all getting there. Just look at everyone elses thread. Everyone else in our little circle seems to be turning a corner of sorts. Were pulling each other out of the hole. Keep headin towards the light MayI, this tunnel is getting shorter and shorter. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 came into work late today because i have a migraine. pulled off my street, and there sits my wife's car parked BEHIND om's house. how ****ing convenient. i stopped in front of his house and called her. she didn't answer. 15 minutes later, a text. "do you need to talk to me?". i've yet to reply. don't know what to say. i'm just angry, and feeling that she could've easily signed the papers by now. **** this woman. it's time to "light her up" with a full fledged serving, on her job. Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 came into work late today because i have a migraine. pulled off my street, and there sits my wife's car parked BEHIND om's house. how ****ing convenient. i stopped in front of his house and called her. she didn't answer. 15 minutes later, a text. "do you need to talk to me?". i've yet to reply. don't know what to say. i'm just angry, and feeling that she could've easily signed the papers by now. **** this woman. it's time to "light her up" with a full fledged serving, on her job. Take a day, think it through, and then go for it if it is the right thing. I believe it is the right thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 Take a day, think it through, and then go for it if it is the right thing. I believe it is the right thing to do. i don't know if i can take a day, honestly. i may call her and tell her to go to my attorney's office and sign TODAY, or it is not going to be pretty anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 If there is one thing I learned through this, and I still don't do it at all well, it is DO NOT DO ANYTHING WHILE YOU ARE EMOTIONAL. Take your time and calm down first. Is there really a difference between today and tomorrow? Quite frankly you are probably going to make the same decision tomorrow, but you will be a much better person having done it in a calm, collected, and rational manner. Trust me on that...had I the patience or self-control to just chill, i'd be much better off. Take your time, don't do anything while you are emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 i know you're right man. it's exactly why i didn't knock on his door this morning. it would've ended badly for me, no matter what. my hands were shaking so ****ing bad on the ride to work. Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I am intimately acquainted with that feeling. Take your time...what else do you have but time? We're here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 the fact that part of me wants to punch someone's teeth down their throat shows that i still care, and i don't like that. i don't want that part of me anymore. i don't want to care. Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 You would not be human if you didn't care. You would not be a man if it didn't hurt. This just all proves how much love you have in your heart, and that to me means you have a good heart. The only way I'm ok with what is happening is that I somehow decided that I wasn't going to ever stop loving her, it was just going to keep becoming a smaller portion of the overall love in my heart. She'll be tucked away in a corner, and I'll think about her every once in awhile, but there will be other things, bigger, nicer, even more important, that fill the rest of me. i'm never going to stop loving my wife, I'm just going to end up being so much bigger, stronger, and better from this that my next love overwhelms what is left for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 You would not be human if you didn't care. You would not be a man if it didn't hurt. This just all proves how much love you have in your heart, and that to me means you have a good heart. The only way I'm ok with what is happening is that I somehow decided that I wasn't going to ever stop loving her, it was just going to keep becoming a smaller portion of the overall love in my heart. She'll be tucked away in a corner, and I'll think about her every once in awhile, but there will be other things, bigger, nicer, even more important, that fill the rest of me. i'm never going to stop loving my wife, I'm just going to end up being so much bigger, stronger, and better from this that my next love overwhelms what is left for her. i feel the same way. although, i want her out of my heart, and my head. today marks 2 months to the day since she moved out, and every wednesday since she moved out something has happened inside of me to stir the pot all over again. this time, though, it's something i witnessed. i'm sort of stunned that i'm not back to square 1. i'm never going to allow myself to go back there. Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Lupa you are an amazing person just from what I have read I truly believe that you will succeed with that...I feel the same way, I will never stop loving my husband but am excited to someday have a love that does overwhelm what is left for him...someday him and I may be friends again for the baby but I need someone who will love me for me and try for me as I will try for him... Mr...you will get there, quit focusing on the day and how many weeks...focus on what you have to do and where you need to go and what you deserve and don't deserve NOT HER!...you will see that couple holding hands and want to be that couple with someone who loves you not what you are going thru now...aim for that for you not for her...I have to fight myself not to stress over his happiness, he took my ability to comfort him and be with him away not me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 Mr...you will get there, quit focusing on the day and how many weeks...focus on what you have to do and where you need to go and what you deserve and don't deserve NOT HER!...you will see that couple holding hands and want to be that couple with someone who loves you not what you are going thru now...aim for that for you not for her...I have to fight myself not to stress over his happiness, he took my ability to comfort him and be with him away not me... i know what you mean, but the OCD/ anal retentive side of me is very meticulous. dates, times, everything. it's like i sometimes can't stop myself from keeping a mental log of it all. it's just been a very rough day. seeing her car there absolutely confirms what a miniscule part of me has denied. this truly is a snakewoman ( lisa). i'm holding on, breathing deeply, and waiting to hug my little girl after work. that'll turn me back around. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Oh MMI So sorry to hear what happened this morning! I haven't been on the board much today. I can imagine how hurtful that was for you, are you OK? Like Lup's said, wait it out until you are calmer, you will be the stronger man for serving her COLD. Lupa, in time you will come to see that what your w did to you is complete betrayal. That is what will allow you to change the way in which you love her. Yes, you will always love her, but it will become a different feeling altogether and it won't bother you. I can't explain it better than that at the moment and I can only go on how I feel now. Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Lisa I back you on that one...both times Mr I am OCDish about many things...and yes the person that, to me is the OW I see her car over where my H is and it hurts each time...nothing may be going on but yet there may be and it is now non of my business... hug that little girl and spin her around like there is no tomorrow! My H just text and asked if I needed him to watch the baby tonight while I went to counseling and I told him no it was on Friday and already taken care of. Then he called and asked if it was his weekend with the baby...yes (he only gets him every other Saturday and if it meant that much wouldn't you be chomping at the bit to spend that time with your child?) then he asked where I wanted him to pick the baby up...I told him I had plans to leave at 7:30 and when he didn't respond I told him I was going to the airfield with my dad to fly RC planes...J responded "well did you plan on taking him with you?" (no it was his day with daddy)"well I think he might have fun" (well I think he might enjoy the time with his dad) "Its not a balance of who he would like to be with more but where he would enjoy himself and then I could catch up on my sleep from being on call" what the hell! Why can't he cherish his little boy as much as I do? I told him we would talk about it more by Friday...right now I am thinking that yes I will take my boy and yet I don't know that is time he should be with his father (but if he sleeps the whole time...) Mr you have my respect for thinking about that little girl and cherishing that time Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 19, 2009 Author Share Posted August 19, 2009 my little girl is my whole world. i will never forget that my wife can say it was just me, but she left US. my little girl was completely devastated. lisa, i am ok. it really made me open my eyes, and realize that i haven't lost anything but a couple days a week with my daughter. that sucks, but it's better than spending 7 days a week with that shell of ****ing woman. Lisa I back you on that one...both times Mr I am OCDish about many things...and yes the person that, to me is the OW I see her car over where my H is and it hurts each time...nothing may be going on but yet there may be and it is now non of my business... hug that little girl and spin her around like there is no tomorrow! My H just text and asked if I needed him to watch the baby tonight while I went to counseling and I told him no it was on Friday and already taken care of. Then he called and asked if it was his weekend with the baby...yes (he only gets him every other Saturday and if it meant that much wouldn't you be chomping at the bit to spend that time with your child?) then he asked where I wanted him to pick the baby up...I told him I had plans to leave at 7:30 and when he didn't respond I told him I was going to the airfield with my dad to fly RC planes...J responded "well did you plan on taking him with you?" (no it was his day with daddy)"well I think he might have fun" (well I think he might enjoy the time with his dad) "Its not a balance of who he would like to be with more but where he would enjoy himself and then I could catch up on my sleep from being on call" what the hell! Why can't he cherish his little boy as much as I do? I told him we would talk about it more by Friday...right now I am thinking that yes I will take my boy and yet I don't know that is time he should be with his father (but if he sleeps the whole time...) Mr you have my respect for thinking about that little girl and cherishing that time Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 my little girl is my whole world. i will never forget that my wife can say it was just me, but she left US. my little girl was completely devastated. lisa, i am ok. it really made me open my eyes, and realize that i haven't lost anything but a couple days a week with my daughter. that sucks, but it's better than spending 7 days a week with that shell of ****ing woman. Good for you MayI. If you really want to get her attention, see if you can arrange to have her served at OM's house!!! I've heard of people doing that. Shows them both you know whats going on, without getting your hands dirty. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
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