Author MrMayI Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 I hope not, for your sake. Your kid has been the shining light in all of your posts from day one, I'd hate to see all that become a source of pain. I'm sorry if it goes that way, keep the faith that it won't! i really do have faith that it won't. i'm thinking back on everything, and she has not once actually said the words "i want a divorce". i have about 15 times in the past 3 weeks or so. i'm wondering if in her insane little fog, if she really thinks this is her still puppeteering me. she's completely lost it if she thinks that. i hope she has a good financial support system if she tries to take the physical custody from me, because i will fight her until i am completely bankrupt. Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 i really do have faith that it won't. i'm thinking back on everything, and she has not once actually said the words "i want a divorce". i have about 15 times in the past 3 weeks or so. i'm wondering if in her insane little fog, if she really thinks this is her still puppeteering me. she's completely lost it if she thinks that. i hope she has a good financial support system if she tries to take the physical custody from me, because i will fight her until i am completely bankrupt. I'd donate to your cause if I wasn't in the middle of arguing about freaking spousal support! What a pain in the ass these people are. They are no longer human. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 I'd donate to your cause if I wasn't in the middle of arguing about freaking spousal support! What a pain in the ass these people are. They are no longer human. thanks just for thinking of it. i think it's under control. she dropped our daughter off at my mother's on her way to work, and moms called to tell me that she had her wedding ring on today, still. i can't believe her. excuse me for a moment. BITCH, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH ANOTHER MAN!!! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT!! I'M NOT DUMB, OR BLIND! I'VE ALL BUT CAUGHT YOU WITH YOUR ****ING LEGS IN THE AIR, AND YET YOU STILL DON'T WANT A DIVORCE???!!!!????? **** YOU!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Auroracoladybug Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 lupa I second that motion...they are not human anymore Mr get your day in court and for gods sake document all of this to the T Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Ok MMI, so like Toj suggested have her served at the OM's, end this, why keep waiting for her to go to your lawyers office and sign? If you want out, show her you mean it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 Ok MMI, so like Toj suggested have her served at the OM's, end this, why keep waiting for her to go to your lawyers office and sign? If you want out, show her you mean it! it's time for that. he and i discussed it today. we're going to have to file it in with the court before it can be served, so i'm looking at minimum 45 days before it's released to be served. after that, the fastest, easiest way to serve is by certified mail. so, essentially 2 more months of this headache, and then if she doesn't agree or accept service, at least 4 more til a court date. that's why i want her to just go and sign. plus, this will cost me the entire time and she'll be obligated to half of it if i win. i'm thinking i'm going to ask that she pay all of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I agree with everyone that you'll probably have to have her served. Since you're absolutely no longer considering any kind of reconciliation, I'd suggest that you tell her this point blank. "I've tried to work with you to start this divorce, but you're clearly dragging your feet. I'm not sure why, since I know that you've been over at XXX's house, and that's clearly an indicator that our relationship is DONE. At this point, if you're not willing to work with me to make this divorce happen, I'm going to have to go through the process to have you served, which will increase the time and costs for both of us. So, do we go down to the lawyer's at XX date and time and sign, or do I start the process to serve you?" You have nothing to lose by being blunt about what needs to happen. The way I phrased it, there's no reason for her to go ballistic on you and start a custody battle, nor does it even bring that up. Just be point blank, make it clear to her that you're DONE with her, and want nothing more than to get her out of your life...and that you don't appreciate her dragging her feet over this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 I agree with everyone that you'll probably have to have her served. Since you're absolutely no longer considering any kind of reconciliation, I'd suggest that you tell her this point blank. "I've tried to work with you to start this divorce, but you're clearly dragging your feet. I'm not sure why, since I know that you've been over at XXX's house, and that's clearly an indicator that our relationship is DONE. At this point, if you're not willing to work with me to make this divorce happen, I'm going to have to go through the process to have you served, which will increase the time and costs for both of us. So, do we go down to the lawyer's at XX date and time and sign, or do I start the process to serve you?" You have nothing to lose by being blunt about what needs to happen. The way I phrased it, there's no reason for her to go ballistic on you and start a custody battle, nor does it even bring that up. Just be point blank, make it clear to her that you're DONE with her, and want nothing more than to get her out of your life...and that you don't appreciate her dragging her feet over this. this is a very good approach. i was actually trying to think of just what i can say tonight to get her attention. i am done, and i just don't know if she believes me. i think she may think i'm pulling a 180 or something, when i'm actually just.... done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 this woman makes me sick. i'm having to keep buying my kid school clothes because she never sends any back. i've told her the past 3 days to send some back, and she didn't today. i'm going to have to show up on her doorstep and raid the closet. jesus. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 MayI, I just got caught up. She's playing with you man. Theres no other explanation. She dosen't want the divorce, but she left and she's treating you like dirt! If it were me, and If I could keep my anger in check (big if) next time i saw her car behind OM's house I'd knock on the door and hand her the papers right in front of him. Wouldn't say a word! I think it's to the point that your just torturing yourself by not having her served, shes obviously checked out. Sorry MayI TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 MayI, I just got caught up. She's playing with you man. Theres no other explanation. She dosen't want the divorce, but she left and she's treating you like dirt! If it were me, and If I could keep my anger in check (big if) next time i saw her car behind OM's house I'd knock on the door and hand her the papers right in front of him. Wouldn't say a word! I think it's to the point that your just torturing yourself by not having her served, shes obviously checked out. Sorry MayI TOJAZ no need for apologies. she's checked out, but i'm long gone myself. i don't want anything at this point but a divorce and i'm in the process of making just that happen. pardon my french, but **** her and the horse she rode in on. very big IF T. you and i are cut from the same cloth, i think. i could not keep my anger in check. if i ever, ever knock on that door, papers will be the last thing on my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 no need for apologies. she's checked out, but i'm long gone myself. i don't want anything at this point but a divorce and i'm in the process of making just that happen. pardon my french, but **** her and the horse she rode in on. very big IF T. you and i are cut from the same cloth, i think. i could not keep my anger in check. if i ever, ever knock on that door, papers will be the last thing on my mind. I hear you bro, steer clear then. Just remember what I said, keep that moral high ground, your daughter is learning from all of this. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 now that i've learned so much, i only have a few regrets. i regret not putting a keylogger on my computer. i regret not shaking the **** out of the suspected OM at the time. basically, i regret not doing all of the things i could've done to have turned things around, and put the wife's ass out before i got my heart broken. i feel pretty strong. just sort of wish i had someone to take to the movies this weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 now that i've learned so much, i only have a few regrets. i regret not putting a keylogger on my computer. i regret not shaking the **** out of the suspected OM at the time. basically, i regret not doing all of the things i could've done to have turned things around, and put the wife's ass out before i got my heart broken. i feel pretty strong. just sort of wish i had someone to take to the movies this weekend. Well, you've got that phone number of the girl from highschool right? What are you waiting for? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 Well, you've got that phone number of the girl from highschool right? What are you waiting for? i am going to call her tonight, and maybe set up a movie date for next weekend, if possible. a buddy of mine, his GF, and one of her friends are coming over sunday, and i'm going to cook for them. they think me and this girl will get along well. whatever. just nice to know i'm not anything my wife has made me out to be. some of the stuff she said to my daughter on the phone last night gives me total indication that she has a date tonight. funny thing is, it's not bothering me in the least (right now). Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 One more thing, just in case you're not doing this. You need to start DOCUMENTING all of your interactions with your wife. All the times you've requested her to send clothes for your daughter, when she hasn't, when you've had to take your daughter to cover for your wife, a log of your days/times with your daughter and when she was at your wife's, any kind of discussions you've had around child care, the divorce, etc... Start documenting EVERYTHING. While it may not be admissable in court as a standalone document, it will show you as organized, and does provide a lot of credibility on your side when you personally refer to it if you're asked a specific question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 One more thing, just in case you're not doing this. You need to start DOCUMENTING all of your interactions with your wife. All the times you've requested her to send clothes for your daughter, when she hasn't, when you've had to take your daughter to cover for your wife, a log of your days/times with your daughter and when she was at your wife's, any kind of discussions you've had around child care, the divorce, etc... Start documenting EVERYTHING. While it may not be admissable in court as a standalone document, it will show you as organized, and does provide a lot of credibility on your side when you personally refer to it if you're asked a specific question. i've been doing that all along. red dot on the calendar for her days, blue for mine. i have her on average 5 days a week. i keep a log of dates we spoke, and make a note as to what it was about. keep in mind, i retained an attorney THE DAY she said she was moving out. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 i am going to call her tonight, and maybe set up a movie date for next weekend, if possible. a buddy of mine, his GF, and one of her friends are coming over sunday, and i'm going to cook for them. they think me and this girl will get along well. whatever. just nice to know i'm not anything my wife has made me out to be. some of the stuff she said to my daughter on the phone last night gives me total indication that she has a date tonight. funny thing is, it's not bothering me in the least (right now). Go skydiving instead. You need an adrenaline rush. You need to kick her out of your head for a bit. I'll let you know if it works, I'm sure it will, will be doing it for the first time tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted August 21, 2009 Author Share Posted August 21, 2009 Go skydiving instead. You need an adrenaline rush. You need to kick her out of your head for a bit. I'll let you know if it works, I'm sure it will, will be doing it for the first time tomorrow. i hope you enjoy it. i've been before. it was really fun. i'm going to a gym a couple of hours away tomorrow to box. it's going to be great. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Go skydiving instead. You need an adrenaline rush. You need to kick her out of your head for a bit. I'll let you know if it works, I'm sure it will, will be doing it for the first time tomorrow. Skydiving (and most other life threatening experineces) tend to put things in perspective and take other minor things such as divorce off of your mind! :lmao: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Skydiving (and most other life threatening experineces) tend to put things in perspective and take other minor things such as divorce off of your mind! :lmao: :lmao: Great, do they let women who are 9 months pregnant skydive? I need something to get my mind off of what's going on with my screwed up life right now! I can't wait to have one little drink...just one, that's all I will need after 9 months of pregnancy and not having a sip! Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Great, do they let women who are 9 months pregnant skydive? I need something to get my mind off of what's going on with my screwed up life right now! I can't wait to have one little drink...just one, that's all I will need after 9 months of pregnancy and not having a sip! There will always be a cold beer in my fridge for you. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Skydiving (and most other life threatening experineces) tend to put things in perspective and take other minor things such as divorce off of your mind! :lmao: :lmao: That's what I'm hoping!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
broken hearted Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 There will always be a cold beer in my fridge for you. Thanks hopesndreams but my drink of choice is a rum and coke! haha! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Great, do they let women who are 9 months pregnant skydive? I need something to get my mind off of what's going on with my screwed up life right now! I can't wait to have one little drink...just one, that's all I will need after 9 months of pregnancy and not having a sip! THAT!? I WANT TO SEE! :lmao: :lmao: JUST GIVE ME A SECOND TO GET SIX PACK, A LAWN CHAIR AND SOME PORK SKINS! Link to post Share on other sites
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