LisaUk Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 i think maybe it was some match user name in another thread or something. i noticed a 1975 in there, and just deduced that's your birth year, as people do that a lot. now i feel like a stalker. i broke on the way in from work. i'm strong enough to take either direction, but i still have fears of each. got home and yelled into the air some more. unbelievable. i thought i had the reselince of gunny when i got broken 10 years ago. the greatest love one's ever known can do that, i guess. had a lady 7 years older than me, and very attractive, tell me to call her when i'm ready to go have some fun. yowza! Didn't get a stalker vibe! LOL, I actually remembered it was my match username after I posted! Well, that's good for the ego hey?! Like I said rollercoaster. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 Yeah that's hard I know, but in some ways it might be better if she doesn't? My ex called me on our 18th anniversary of the day we started dating, which was 2 weeks after he left. He called to hassle me about the legals! I think I responded with something like "do you not know what day it is you b****y b*****d." I'm used to spending b'days on my own though, and valentines, he was always at work and if he did take the day off, he would bring work home and say "I'll get up early and do it, so it doesn't interfere with the day", of course this meant he was tired the whole day and unattentive. I think the worst day for me is yet to come, that will be the day we should have married in about 5 months time. I'm not looking forward to that day one bit. Hows this for compulsive, I've been on this board for hours right after work. I'm grungy and sweaty and finaly decide to take a shower. What do i do? Prop the laptop up on the sink! Thats right folks TOJAZ is posting in the buff!:confused: Pssst. Lisa, my eyes are up here! Seriously, a beautiful woman should never have to spend her B-day alone, and certainly not one who is engaged. Valentines day! Work should have been the last thing on his mind. I always made every effort to make these days special for the wife. V day this year was a resort with gourmet dinner, wine, champagne, the works! Lot of good that did 2 months later. In 5 months, you will probably be dating and be glad to be rid of him. You have learned so much you will see that. To be honest, it will probably hit him harder then it will hit you. and when that day comes, you can just laugh because you will be on to bigger and better things. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 10, 2009 Author Share Posted July 10, 2009 Didn't get a stalker vibe! LOL, I actually remembered it was my match username after I posted! Well, that's good for the ego hey?! Like I said rollercoaster. it's not bad for the ol' ego at all. i think that had a hand in it. i saw her while buying cigs. know her from some work functions. i cried for 15 minutes after that, but none of the "why is this happening?" stuff. more of just silence than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 10, 2009 Share Posted July 10, 2009 i broke on the way in from work. i'm strong enough to take either direction, but i still have fears of each. got home and yelled into the air some more. unbelievable. i thought i had the reselince of gunny when i got broken 10 years ago. the greatest love one's ever known can do that, i guess. had a lady 7 years older than me, and very attractive, tell me to call her when i'm ready to go have some fun. yowza! Gunnys resilience comes from lessons learned I believe. In the heat of battle I'm sure he went through the same stuff we are. Keep yelling and doing what you need to do to get through. It sounds a little nuts, but it's actually healthy (as long as no one sees you do it ) I'm not gonna touch the rest, follow your heart not your.........just follow your heart. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 yeah. right now, my heart is so empty. i've broken apart twice today now. man, i'm falling apart today. started off strong, then read a good bit of that book, and now i'm at a loss again. i'm getting walked over, i just know it. this is going to be a long weekend, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 yeah. right now, my heart is so empty. i've broken apart twice today now. man, i'm falling apart today. started off strong, then read a good bit of that book, and now i'm at a loss again. i'm getting walked over, i just know it. this is going to be a long weekend, for sure. Time for a break, put the book down for the weekend and go have some fun. Your heading for burnout with all the stress. Been there. It's hard to do, but you need to take time for yourself without worrying about her for awhile. Get your head right and then think about this stuff, otherwise your just trying to dig yourself out of a hole. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 Time for a break, put the book down for the weekend and go have some fun. Your heading for burnout with all the stress. Been there. It's hard to do, but you need to take time for yourself without worrying about her for awhile. Get your head right and then think about this stuff, otherwise your just trying to dig yourself out of a hole. TOJAZ i know man. i have the kid all weekend. i have to hold it all together. my daughter told me a little while ago that mommy got her haircut today and she looks really different. i almost broke down in front of her over just that. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 i know man. i have the kid all weekend. i have to hold it all together. my daughter told me a little while ago that mommy got her haircut today and she looks really different. i almost broke down in front of her over just that. Little changes like that will drive you nuts. I remember the wife came by and i noticed she painted her toenails. Stupid little thing, but she hadn't done it in years, then it's why? or for who? Don't fall in to that. Make this weekend about your kid. Go out and make the both of you happy for awhile. Also, remember, just like mommys haircut made it back to you, anything you put out there will make it back to mommy, just like you called her on the phone. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 So she got a haricut!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh big F-ing deal. So she paints her toenails. You cant let the little stuff bother you... You need to start making changes for your own well being as well. Hit the gym, ride a bike, learn to play the piano, learn a new trade. Something to better you for your benefit. Stop caring what she's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 So she got a haricut!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh big F-ing deal. So she paints her toenails. You cant let the little stuff bother you... You need to start making changes for your own well being as well. Hit the gym, ride a bike, learn to play the piano, learn a new trade. Something to better you for your benefit. Stop caring what she's doing. damn, i needed that smack. thanks chrome. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Gunnys resilience comes from lessons learned I believe. In the heat of battle I'm sure he went through the same stuff we are. .:DTOJAZ Yea! More than lessons learned! Its the Life I've lived! Wow Just give me one Scotch, one burborn, and one beer! I really feel for you guys going through what your going through! I reemeber looking at the "Wall of Shame" during the first Gulf War. All of the wives and GF's that cheated? I've seen 1/7 Marines replace 2/7 Marines and 3/7 Marines replacing them out out HA. Wives would say goodbye to their husbands one week, and say hello to their boyfriends coming home to them a couple weeks later! It got so bad? CA Marines were replacing HA Marines on a six month rotation to Okinawa; Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Yea! More than lessons learned! Its the Life I've lived! Wow Just give me one Scotch, one burborn, and one beer! I really feel for you guys going through what your going through! I reemeber looking at the "Wall of Shame" during the first Gulf War. All of the wives and GF's that cheated? I've seen 1/7 Marines replace 2/7 Marines and 3/7 Marines replacing them out out HA. Wives would say goodbye to their husbands one week, and say hello to their boyfriends coming home to them a couple weeks later! It got so bad? CA Marines were replacing HA Marines on a six month rotation to Okinawa; Hey Gunny, what you doing up at this time? Can't sleep or are you partying? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Hey Gunny, what you doing up at this time? Can't sleep or are you partying? I work the second shift! So this is my afternoon time! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 I work the second shift! So this is my afternoon time! Ah, I see shift work! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Ah, I see shift work! Yea! "SHIFT" WORK! 7 TO 3 3 TO 11 11 TO 7 But where else can I get paid to read books, newspapers, drink cofffee, watch cable TV? Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Hows this for compulsive, I've been on this board for hours right after work. I'm grungy and sweaty and finaly decide to take a shower. What do i do? Prop the laptop up on the sink! Thats right folks TOJAZ is posting in the buff!:confused: Pssst. Lisa, my eyes are up here! Seriously, a beautiful woman should never have to spend her B-day alone, and certainly not one who is engaged. Valentines day! Work should have been the last thing on his mind. I always made every effort to make these days special for the wife. V day this year was a resort with gourmet dinner, wine, champagne, the works! Lot of good that did 2 months later. In 5 months, you will probably be dating and be glad to be rid of him. You have learned so much you will see that. To be honest, it will probably hit him harder then it will hit you. and when that day comes, you can just laugh because you will be on to bigger and better things. TOJAZ *wolf whistle* Yes, think you could be a bit addicted Thanks for that, hope you are right. I don't think the day will bother my ex at all, it would have upset the man I loved, but not this midlifer monster he is now! Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 *wolf whistle* Don't think I've ever been whistled at before! Yes, think you could be a bit addicted Thanks for that, hope you are right. I don't think the day will bother my ex at all, it would have upset the man I loved, but not this midlifer monster he is now! Don't be so sure. Like I said, if your half as sweet as your posts make you out to be, hes going to be missing you dearly at some point. That day will be like the point of no return. On that day he will be forced to realize that he could have had it all and he threw it away. He'll feel it, I guarantee. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Don't be so sure. Like I said, if your half as sweet as your posts make you out to be, hes going to be missing you dearly at some point. That day will be like the point of no return. On that day he will be forced to realize that he could have had it all and he threw it away. He'll feel it, I guarantee. TOJAZ Well that's a really nice thing to say Tojaz, but I'm not whiter than white I do have some bad points like everyone! Thing is he cleraly doesn't value me at all, otherwise he wouldn't have left, so I can't see him caring really. I'd like to hope you are right, but realistically, he doesn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Well that's a really nice thing to say Tojaz, but I'm not whiter than white I do have some bad points like everyone! Thing is he cleraly doesn't value me at all, otherwise he wouldn't have left, so I can't see him caring really. I'd like to hope you are right, but realistically, he doesn't care. I wouldn't look at it that way. The only person that truly knows why he left is him. from all you have wrote, it breaks down to, He left to chase an Ideal, a picture in his head. As long as that is what he seeks, he will never be satisfied with what he has on hand. Sure your not perfect, neither am I, neither is anyone. You have a good heart and did the best you could for him, more then you should have ever had too, but he wanted more. When he realizes what he's chasing dosen't exist, it's only natural to look back at what you had. I've done it! I believe that day will be a trigger for him to look back and reflect on what he gave up compared to what he's seeking. Maybe he will get it, maybe not, but he's going to feel it. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 well, we talked on the phone for about 30 minutes last night. i don't know why i allowed it to happen. when all of this started, we scheduled our first "date" for next saturday. she now has to work that night. she makes her own schedule, too. i didn't let it bother me at all. i don't want to do that, anyway. she made a snide comment about my family, and i almost lost it, but told her that is my family and whatever she says about them affects me, and i won't sit and let that happen. she backed off right then. i ended the conversation with "we need to get together one night during the week. just us." she said yeah, she'd like that. i didn't mean for a date. i mean to put it all on the table, but she doesn't know that yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 i dropped the kid off with her to give them a little afternoon time together. they were going to the grocery, and invited me along. i happily declined, gave my daughter a kiss, and patted the wife on the shoulder as i was walking off. she pulled me to her and gave me the biggest hug i've had in months, and then she grabbed my hand and held it for a few seconds. weird. i couldn't help but notice her eyes looked very sleepless, and i thought to myself that's from all of the late night activity, and has nothing to do with losing sleep like i do. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 i also forgot to mention that through a friend of the family, i'm about to try my hand at learning to drive diesels. in the event this ends up in divorce, and i become a weekend father, i'm going to drive all over this country with my pit bull. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 i never mentioned her hair. my daughter was wrong. it really looks no different, just thinner. she mentioned my haircut and my beard. told me i look distinguished, and then stared at me for a minute or so. i just feel pretty good about today. i played it aloof. i really wanted to drop the information i have all over her azz but figured i'll wait until i am ready, really ready for my next course of action. plus, i don't want our daughter anywhere around when it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 i dropped the kid off with her to give them a little afternoon time together. they were going to the grocery, and invited me along. i happily declined, gave my daughter a kiss, and patted the wife on the shoulder as i was walking off. she pulled me to her and gave me the biggest hug i've had in months, and then she grabbed my hand and held it for a few seconds. weird. i couldn't help but notice her eyes looked very sleepless, and i thought to myself that's from all of the late night activity, and has nothing to do with losing sleep like i do. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! HUH????????????? I don't get it, what is this women thinking? that must have been frustarting for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MrMayI Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 HUH????????????? I don't get it, what is this women thinking? that must have been frustarting for you? i read that EA's are the easiest for the cheater to deny, and stick with it. reason is, in their mind nothing has physically been done. little does one think that something physical in fact HAS been done. moving out is a physical thing, is it not? no worries. gonna hang out with like 4 couples tonight and drink beer and eat chicken wings. i'm used to being alone around all these people, so no worries there. lisa, because she's unaware of my knowledge of what's going on, everything can still operate the same in her mind. my good friend told me last night that when i drop papers it's probably going to shock her back to reality. i don't know though. Link to post Share on other sites
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