Just Hear Me Out....

[soheartbroken]

We both seem to be having rough days today.

 

i can't help it. i miss her. i want that feeling back. i know it's not going to happen. still. i can't help myself. i am feeling that i may always want to be with her. good or bad. right or wrong. **** me.

 

Right with you.

 

I think you're slightly ahead of me timewise, so doesn't give me much to look forward to.

 

Glad you have an old flame to boost - or at least get back some - self-esteem.

[MrMayI]

We both seem to be having rough days today.

 

i can't help it. i miss her. i want that feeling back. i know it's not going to happen. still. i can't help myself. i am feeling that i may always want to be with her. good or bad. right or wrong. **** me.

 

Right with you.

 

I think you're slightly ahead of me timewise, so doesn't give me much to look forward to.

 

Glad you have an old flame to boost - or at least get back some - self-esteem.

 

hang in there SHB. i can tell you it gets easier. the thoughts i have, and the feelings are way, way different than even a month ago. i go up. i go down, but i will never be out for the count. i'll make it through, as will you. mine is rough right now, to me, because there's a child involved and NC is not an option.

[Auroracoladybug]

Mr and SHB...its not just you maybe something in the stars for us? I want the comfort and the feelings back too but we all know that it would not be right and we would just be hurt even more when they pin every little thing on us again when they have problems...we can't fix them and though we are truly selfish and wanting that comfort again we all know we deserve better...the unknown in the future frightens me and the good memories in my dreams haunt me...yep stuck in the middle again and yet I have so many things to worry about now...do you think they are worried about us? heck no! J called me this morning because the insurance called about an inspector coming over to check out my roof...he didn't ask how his son was (who is suffering from a cold and ear infection) he didn't ask about anything and just got snotty "well I was just calling to tell you"...I don't know how in the future I will feel because yes I feel like I will always be in this boat wondering where my J went and yet how do I never talk bad about my son's father around him when that is how I have to get thru these feelings...

 

Sorry feelings made me get off topic gentlemen...group hug from me K?

 

Mr, SHB is right about having the old flame to boost your self-esteem but I am glad you don't want to jump in and get hurt again...Lupa shoots striaght from the hip about giving her the boundaries you need.

[MrMayI]

i've told a few of my friends who know the old flame. they're all saying do not, repeat do not hook up with her. i'm telling you, our relationship was nowhere near healthy. we're better off just remaining friends. sorry lupa, but monkey sex with this girl would end up very, very badly.

[lupa]

i've told a few of my friends who know the old flame. they're all saying do not, repeat do not hook up with her. i'm telling you, our relationship was nowhere near healthy. we're better off just remaining friends. sorry lupa, but monkey sex with this girl would end up very, very badly.

Ok, ok. But I am a strong advocate of crazy monkey sex to soothe the soul.

 

It does stroke the ol' ego, though, knowing that she has thought about you, huh?

[MrMayI]

Ok, ok. But I am a strong advocate of crazy monkey sex to soothe the soul.

 

It does stroke the ol' ego, though, knowing that she has thought about you, huh?

 

absolutely. the nice things she said about me made me feel a lot better about it all too. actually, i think it helped stir what i'm feeling today. it made me question even further the reasons why she left. arrrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!

[MrMayI]

i just got off the phone with the ex. 20 minute conversation. we laughed. we talked about things besides our kid. i think i'm going to make it. never once did i think about her with someone else, or US. she even told me of her plans this weekend with another guy and it rolled right off of me. i just have to learn to keep it together in the daytime. work has become more of an irritation than anything else. i can't help but be blue while there.

[soheartbroken]

i think i'm going to make it.

 

Great attitude!

[MrMayI]

i think i'm going to make it.

 

Great attitude!

 

we're there SHB. we really are. you're going to make it. i'm going to make it. they abyss will slowly close for you, and you'll find your way home. you're a great girl.

[ryepatch]

sometimes i feel like i just want us to all get together and stage a mass protest that all our exes and walkaway spouses would be court-ordered to attend. we could march around them in a circle and wave signs with slogans like:

 

LOVESHACKERS UNITE!!!

 

TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT, ONE TO BREAK IT!!!

 

THEY ALWAYS TRADE DOWN!!!

 

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TIL "DEATH DO US PART"!?!

 

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE!!!

 

and a favorite John Lennon quote of mine:

 

"ONE THING YOU CAN'T HIDE/ IS WHEN YOU'RE CRIPPLED INSIDE!"

[ryepatch]

that, or we should all call each other's exes and unload onto them...

 

 

direct action, people! take to the streets!

[soheartbroken]

Lol Ryepatch.

 

Thank you for your kind words, MMI. I hope you're right.

[MrMayI]

that, or we should all call each other's exes and unload onto them...

 

 

direct action, people! take to the streets!

 

it's tough, but this won't change anything. they'll just rally together and justify their actions amongst themselves. they're stupid like that.

 

Lol Ryepatch.

 

Thank you for your kind words, MMI. I hope you're right.

 

believe it. i have a kid and live 5 blocks from my stbx. if i can do it, we all can. maybe i'll be down later, but for now, it's okay.

[ryepatch]

may and shb,

 

sorry if i hijacked and ruined a tender moment, just felt like injecting some levity. this is all so unfair what we're going through, but we're doing great just making it through one day after another.

[MrMayI]

may and shb,

 

sorry if i hijacked and ruined a tender moment, just felt like injecting some levity. this is all so unfair what we're going through, but we're doing great just making it through one day after another.

 

i don't consider anything hijacking here rye. we're all going through it. i'm as sorry for you as you are for me. we have to go through this. like it or not, and believe me, like you, i damn sure don't. if you've read anything about me, you'll know i'm as ****ed up as anybody. let's just be strong. together.

[soheartbroken]

Nothing ruined Ryepatch!

[tojaz]

Everybody seems to have a good advice to give. I was wondering if anybody had any advice regarding going through a divorce with peace of mind?

 

 

Kaye S.

kaye.S.R[email protected]

 

Since when does LS have commercials!!!!!

 

While i know your all hurting, I just read this exchange and think it's beautiful how you all have supported each other yesterday. Really in the spirit of LS. MayI is right, he is going to make it, we all are, and were doing it together!

 

SHB, Rye, you both have come so far in such a short period of time, I hope your both giving yourself credit for that. Theres still a long road ahead for all of us, but getting moving is the hardest part.

TOJAZ

[phineas]

sometimes i feel like i just want us to all get together and stage a mass protest that all our exes and walkaway spouses would be court-ordered to attend. we could march around them in a circle and wave signs with slogans like:

 

LOVESHACKERS UNITE!!!

 

TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT, ONE TO BREAK IT!!!

 

THEY ALWAYS TRADE DOWN!!!

 

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TIL "DEATH DO US PART"!?!

 

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE!!!

 

and a favorite John Lennon quote of mine:

 

"ONE THING YOU CAN'T HIDE/ IS WHEN YOU'RE CRIPPLED INSIDE!"

 

Why the hell would I want to look at her when there are so many fine ladies on LS to look at.

 

Besides, a protest is a waste of drinking time.

[MrMayI]

i was gonna update in phineas' update thread, but that dude's really pulled his **** together, so i don't want to bring it down with my pity party.

 

i'm back in the crapper today. last nights good talk only put me back to where i've been all week, but a little worse i think. i have come to the conclusion that i am co-dependent and likely always will be. i'm lonely without someone to have physical interaction with. i need to be hugged, to hold hands, to kiss. at least i think i need those things. the 2 years of adulthood i've spent alone were some of the worst times of my life.

[soheartbroken]

Sorry to hear you're in the crapper. I was there this morning, doing a bit better after seeing my therapist, but I think it's because I'm blocking stuff out.

 

Having a "good talk" can temporarily put you on a high, but there's the risk of the crash afterward. That's why I'm complete NC, which I understand you cannot do.

 

Why were those two years the worst of your life, and why do you think it will be that way again?

 

Go ahead and have your pity party. It's your thread, I won't kick you while you're down (some people respond to an ass-kicking though...)

[MrMayI]

Sorry to hear you're in the crapper. I was there this morning, doing a bit better after seeing my therapist, but I think it's because I'm blocking stuff out.

 

Having a "good talk" can temporarily put you on a high, but there's the risk of the crash afterward. That's why I'm complete NC, which I understand you cannot do.

 

Why were those two years the worst of your life, and why do you think it will be that way again?

 

Go ahead and have your pity party. It's your thread, I won't kick you while you're down (some people respond to an ass-kicking though...)

 

i don't really guess they were the WORST of my life. they were pretty lousy though. you're right, and i needed someone to say it. those years, i was jobless, doing poorly in school, had roommates whom annoyed the hell out of me. i was pretty bottomed out then. now, i have my angel, my little girl, a good job, money in the bank, bills caught up, and plenty of good friends and family. i guess it's all okay.

[lupa]

i don't really guess they were the WORST of my life. they were pretty lousy though. you're right, and i needed someone to say it. those years, i was jobless, doing poorly in school, had roommates whom annoyed the hell out of me. i was pretty bottomed out then. now, i have my angel, my little girl, a good job, money in the bank, bills caught up, and plenty of good friends and family. i guess it's all okay.

I read something recently that can help this funk of a mood, and it talks about being able to identify the difference between your wants, and your needs.

 

Obviously you need food, shelter, money, to take care of your child and provide her a good life. Everything else is secondary.

 

Would you be down in the dumps if you can't get your favorite radio station while driving in the car? You WANT it, but you don't NEED it.

 

You WANT your old life back, but you most certainly don't NEED it. Surprisingly enough, putting things in that perspective, while not on the same level as not hearing your favorite morning DJ, really helps lift a lot of the pain.

 

MayI, you WANT your old life (so do I). It was comfortable, it was nice. But it won't kill you to not have it, and there are about a gajillion other lives out there that are possible for you to live.

 

I wrote to a friend today that:

 

You cannot change the past, you can only live in the present and affect the future.

 

 

I even used the right "affect" but the point is...dwelling on the past leads to suffering, because it confuses what you want with what you need.

 

Go through that exercise, and you will see things aren't that bad. As a matter of fact, just writing this to you makes me feel a little better right now.

[MrMayI]

thanks, lupa. it's funny because i catch myself saying things to myself like "i want you back, *******", or "i want my family back". i've yet to say i NEED anything of the sort. i need a good job, but it's very near time for me to find something else. my job is a major downer.

[lupa]

thanks, lupa. it's funny because i catch myself saying things to myself like "i want you back, *******", or "i want my family back". i've yet to say i NEED anything of the sort. i need a good job, but it's very near time for me to find something else. my job is a major downer.

that is a legitimate need.

 

I found myself saying I want my old life back, and "want" is now a trigger word for me. makes me think...hmm...I don't NEED it, therefore it isn't going to kill me to not have it.

 

I keep finding myself torn, though, because I REALLY WANT a family. I don't need it, but I'm hitting that point where I think I'm in the right time of my life to start it. Of course I'm not in the right place now, but I mean more like the right age, financial position, etc.

 

But, even then, I know I don't NEED it. Helps keep the perspective.

 

Try that over the next few days when you get unhappy, let me know if it works.

 

...good ol' Homer McDonald.

[MrMayI]

that is a legitimate need.

 

I found myself saying I want my old life back, and "want" is now a trigger word for me. makes me think...hmm...I don't NEED it, therefore it isn't going to kill me to not have it.

 

I keep finding myself torn, though, because I REALLY WANT a family. I don't need it, but I'm hitting that point where I think I'm in the right time of my life to start it. Of course I'm not in the right place now, but I mean more like the right age, financial position, etc.

 

But, even then, I know I don't NEED it. Helps keep the perspective.

 

Try that over the next few days when you get unhappy, let me know if it works.

 

...good ol' Homer McDonald.

 

that was a decent book. i think we've discussed it before. i found a torrent of it, and read the whole thing in about an hour. i like his perspective on a lot of things.