Author builderbob Posted June 24, 2009 Author Share Posted June 24, 2009 Well, we talked about it. I was cool, and explained it to her. She knows where I am coming from about the respecting my feelings but doesn't understand why I feel like that. But she gets the part about thinking about how I feel just like I would think about her feelings about something. It was a good quiet conversation without arguing and pointing fingers. I told her that maybe with time, I will get better with this, but at THIS moment, it bothers me a little bit and I am just letting her know how I FEEL and that it BOTHERS me and that its OK for her not to understand me just like it's OK for me not to understand her. I told her that it's not as much about UNDERSTANDING why we feel the way we feel about certain topics, it's about RESPECTING other person's feelings I can honestly say that this board really helped me and all your advice. From all of you who said "you are crazy" and from those of you who said "She is crazy" lol Thank You all for your input on this. I feel like it was VERY productive conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 So let's take it a little deeper then. Why is it "OK" for someone to do this exact thing when their bf/gf is not with them, but it's not when two people are together somewhere? It all depends. We ALL check out other people. I appreciate the attractiveness of another woman. But I'm not going to sit there and salivate over another woman like I can't control my pecker. and I certainly wouldn't shove it in my SO's face how hot another woman is. There are millions of attractive people out there. I want the one I'm with, but can certainly appreciate the beauty of another. I had a conversation about this with my last gf. I said, "I know you are going to think another guy is hot, and thats ok....I just don't want to hear about it". Looks like that "quality" of character is there, but the only difference is they do it behind their bf's/gf's back.... admiring the looks of someone else is one thing......acting like she is obsessed with someone else, and wetting her panties over another man is quite another. You know, everytime I talk about it (and this is really the ONLY subject we get into heated conversations about) I get: "I am sorry that I am not perfect" "What do you want me to do? Watch my every move when I am with you?" you're answer should be..."no, just STFU about hot you think another guy is around me. You want to look, fine, but keep your thoughts to yourself....and its not about watching every move yo make...its about you acting like a dog in heat when you see another guy....that you WANT" "What do you think I will do? Run away with that person?" "You have a serious issue with insecurity" "This is getting old QUICK" tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. Now, here is my point. IT IS NOT ABOUT HER DOING SOMETHING WITH ANYONE. I keep saying this until I am blue in my face. I say, it's about RESPECT for other person's feelings! exactly!! and she has nada respect for you...thats obvious. get rid of this tart. and take it from someone that has been around the block many times.....someone like that who will break their neck and go out of their way to salivate over another guy WILL cheat if/when the perfect opportunity arises. If she was in another state with a guy she doesn't know that she is getting all wet about....she'd do him if he asked. she has the tell tale signs of a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Well, we talked about it. I was cool, and explained it to her. She knows where I am coming from about the respecting my feelings but doesn't understand why I feel like that. But she gets the part about thinking about how I feel just like I would think about her feelings about something. It was a good quiet conversation without arguing and pointing fingers. I told her that maybe with time, I will get better with this, but at THIS moment, it bothers me a little bit and I am just letting her know how I FEEL and that it BOTHERS me and that its OK for her not to understand me just like it's OK for me not to understand her. I told her that it's not as much about UNDERSTANDING why we feel the way we feel about certain topics, it's about RESPECTING other person's feelings I can honestly say that this board really helped me and all your advice. From all of you who said "you are crazy" and from those of you who said "She is crazy" lol Thank You all for your input on this. I feel like it was VERY productive conversation. ok, if you say so. .............but this isn't over yet...mark my words. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightmare Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Sounds like what I went through in my relationship. She was constantly checking out guys and making it known when guys were checking her out, almost like she needed some validation. I was never really jealous about it, but just kept an eye on it. I can tell you my wife never really cared how I felt, unless I would get really upset,but she seemed fake. Now she is going to be my exwife because she had an affair. Just a heads up on my situation with this. If shes the kind of girl that needs to have guys constantly checking her out to feel validated be careful. I know you said shes the one checking out guys but I bet its more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
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