TrustInYourself Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Just by reading your posts and the advice yo give to others. Your a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for, and you get stronger everyday! Coming hear, hashing it out, not calling him, thats true strength walking away is weakness. Letting it rule your life is weakness. Remember that. TOJAZ So true. It's great how the advice we sometimes give is hard to follow ourselves. Great stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Just thinking of you, Tojaz. I hope you are feeling better. Take it easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 26, 2009 Author Share Posted June 26, 2009 You seem to have a knack for making me feel better! Thanks. Anything I can do to help. Like I said before, youve helped me just as much as I've helped you. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 26, 2009 Author Share Posted June 26, 2009 So true. It's great how the advice we sometimes give is hard to follow ourselves. Great stuff. Duly noted TIY, that is very true indeed. I am feeling better. Thank you. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Well, she packed up some things today. I couldn't be here for that. i wanted to, wanted to see her, just didn't want to watch her packing up our life and leaving. I called a friend and went to the bar at the last minute. When I came home, I walked around and assessed what was gone. It hit me hard, empty dressers and jewlery boxes that had been in the same spot for years. Gone. Lingerie I had bought her for Valentines and Special gifts. Gone, to be worn for someone else. Diplomas and pictures. Gone. She took pictures of us together? Not albums, but framed photos that hung on the walls, wedding photos! Why? This is a life she said she hated, was torture. I'm a controlling abuser but she's going to hang our wedding photos in her bachelorette pad? Why? This is too much. I'm gonna get drunk and start fresh in the morning. Goodnight LoveShack, I hope everyone sleeps better then I will tonight. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
MrMayI Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 we'll be fine man. speed bumps on the road of life. that's all this s**t is. believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 First off getting drunk and crawling in a bottle isn't the answer! Drugs and alcohol (not to say your doing drugs) isn't the answer to the question, nor the solution to the problem. It solves nothing! Its un-does nothing! It changes nothing! It prevents nothing! So the first order of business is to get yourself out of that frame of mind! What you need to be working on is 'snapping out of it!" You had GF's before and you'll have them after her! All that she's accomplishing here is making you a better man, a better husband for someone else? Through all the pain and suffering your going through? Your learning and growing ~ learning from your mistakes ~ most of which were because you just didn't know any better! Because of it? The next gal that comes along is going to ask you? "Where have you been all of my life! I've been looking for you forever!" The fact that your here on LS, means your not your average guy! Your seeking answers to the questions, and solutions to the problems! You may not find them for your current relationship, but it shows your willingness to learn! Your willing to adapt, improvise and overcome! It shows you've got GRIT! Pain is BUT weakness leaving the body and mind! Link to post Share on other sites
Derek12b Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Just by reading your posts and the advice yo give to others. Your a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for, and you get stronger everyday! Coming hear, hashing it out, not calling him, thats true strength walking away is weakness. Letting it rule your life is weakness. Remember that. TOJAZ This man speaks the truth! Coming here is the best thing you can do. I've never believed in counseling or therapy, but I found this place and so did you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Gunny, I know alcohol isn't the answer, and I don't resort to that to often, I needed the break. I wasn't going anywhere, no kids in the house, nobody to be responsible for. Just needed to relieve the pain for awhile, anyway I could. I spent almost the whole day on LS yesterday, trying to prepare for seeing her I guess. Come to find out when I got backed to the house, that it was a smash and grab kind of thing. She must have done it as fast as she could. I don't know why it bothers me so much, it just hit me hard I guess. The couple of times we had spoken on the phone she had seemed so nice. I really wanted to see her, but at the same time I couldn't. Why is this messing me up so much dammit! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Gunny, I know alcohol isn't the answer, and I don't resort to that to often, I needed the break. I wasn't going anywhere, no kids in the house, nobody to be responsible for. Just needed to relieve the pain for awhile, anyway I could. I spent almost the whole day on LS yesterday, trying to prepare for seeing her I guess. Come to find out when I got backed to the house, that it was a smash and grab kind of thing. She must have done it as fast as she could. I don't know why it bothers me so much, it just hit me hard I guess. The couple of times we had spoken on the phone she had seemed so nice. I really wanted to see her, but at the same time I couldn't. Why is this messing me up so much dammit! TOJAZ I know Bro! Sometimes a guy just got to say, "WTF!" Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Hi Tojaz, I don't blame you for clearing out yesterday. Must have been incrediably painful to come back to that. As for why she took the wedding photo's, God only knows, I can't figure out what is going through our and the others on here's exes heads. Makes no sense to me any of it, commitment means trying, I will never understand those that just bail. How are you today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Hi Tojaz, I don't blame you for clearing out yesterday. Must have been incrediably painful to come back to that. As for why she took the wedding photo's, God only knows, I can't figure out what is going through our and the others on here's exes heads. Makes no sense to me any of it, commitment means trying, I will never understand those that just bail. How are you today? I'm doing alright. Had a therapy session today, kind of intense because of yesterday, but it felt good to get it all out. Realized some things I hadn't before. Maybe I'll right some of it down once I process it all. I don't know what is going on with the wedding photos, probably reading to much into it. She paid all the house bills and even went and paid my copay for the therapy session before I got there (she goes to the same place). She's being awful nice all of sudden. Who knows, not getting my hopes up. How are you today Lisa,? TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 I'm doing alright. Had a therapy session today, kind of intense because of yesterday, but it felt good to get it all out. Realized some things I hadn't before. Maybe I'll right some of it down once I process it all. I don't know what is going on with the wedding photos, probably reading to much into it. She paid all the house bills and even went and paid my copay for the therapy session before I got there (she goes to the same place). She's being awful nice all of sudden. Who knows, not getting my hopes up. How are you today Lisa,? TOJAZ I'm so glad you're here, just posted on my thread, it's saturday night here, feeling it a bit! Glad you had a good therapy session, don't know about her paying, my ex gave me some "extra" money in my settlement for therapy, think it was a way to ease his guilt? What you up to now, for the rest of your Saturday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Just sitting in front of the TV right now with the cat. It's unbearably hot out, so I'm laying low. I'll check out your thread real quick. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 What's your cat like? I have a cat too, she's black and very affectionate! been hot here today too, probably not as hot as it is there? Where exactly is Indiana? Sorry lot of questions! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Nakita's great, kind of rambunctious, but very well behaved. Shes mostly gray with white tips on her nose paws and tail. I think she misses the wife too, but she has always liked me best;). Indiana is about an hours drive from Chicago. If you look at a map of the U.S. you'll se the great lakes just towards the right of center. The long lake pointing south points right at my town. Where in the UK are you? TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Your cat sounds sweet! Bet she's a comfort to you at the moment, mine certainly is! My geography is terrible! I kind of know where Chicago is (the windy city?), I have a friend in Grand Rapids Michigan, (about an hour away?) Told you my geo is c*ap. Bet it's hot! I'm in Devon, it's down the end of the country, south west, near Lands End, Cornwall, on the coast. It's great living back by the sea, but I do miss living in London. It's quiet here, laid back, nice in some ways, but the public transport is rubbish (learning to drive at the moment) and so are the shops (a womens got to shop you know, lol). Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Sounds nice, I've always wanted to visit the UK my aunt spent a month on the Isle of White, she said it was the most beautiful place she has ever been. If you just want to talk, I would download this http://messenger.yahoo.com/ it only takes a couple of minutes and we won't be boring everybody with our chit chat. Tojaz Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Heres where my town is. http://maps.google.com/maps?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=s&hl=en&q=valparaiso+IN.&um=1&ie=UTF-8&split=0&gl=us&ei=VoNGSqX8CqaxtwfK9_itAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1 TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 I'm so technology slow, had a quick look, but will take me some time to figure it out! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Which one the map or the messanger? Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Heres where my town is. http://maps.google.com/maps?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=s&hl=en&q=valparaiso+IN.&um=1&ie=UTF-8&split=0&gl=us&ei=VoNGSqX8CqaxtwfK9_itAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1 TOJAZ You are much more techno friendly than me! Looks like a great place, very American! Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 The messenger! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tojaz Posted June 27, 2009 Author Share Posted June 27, 2009 Yeah, you get a lot of that over here :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
LisaUk Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Yeah, you get a lot of that over here :laugh: :lmao::lmao: Yes that would make sense! never been to Isle of Wight, but understand is very nice. Still trying to figure messenger! Link to post Share on other sites
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