Church Bells Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 DNU1, We've discussed this before ... people are just DIFFERENT. I am one of those who "gets over" a failed relationship rather quickly. Once I KNOW its over ... I resign myself to that REALITY ... and move on. I've also noticed ... especially on infidelity websites ... that MEN who are seperating from their "first" have an especially hard time. Fortunately ... or some may say UNFORTUNATELY ... once you have the experience of "loving and losing" a few times ... you simply UNDERSTAND that life is too short to WASTE on a BAD woman, and that there are always OTHER options available, if you will only open yourself up to the possibilities. Why put YOURSELF in LIMBO over the failings of SOMEONE ELSE??? One word of caution ... BE SMART ... don't openly "date" any woman until the Property Settlement Agreement is SIGNED. Once that occurs ... enjoying the company of an attractive, receptive woman is good salve for a wounded ego. Make this a HAPPY New Year!!! YOU DESERVE IT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 Wow, the more I talk with my divorced female friends the more I realize two things: They do NOT have healthy dating & relationship philosophies and practices.I "get it" -- IC, friends, family, etc., have long said I'm on the right path in how I am dealing with this divorce, my DDs, my life and moving forward.Thanks for the advice Church. However, there will be no "dating" for this prairie dog. It is simply not the right thing for me to do at this point in my life. Holidays were difficult, but I continue to examine myself & my past, and look forward to my future. Dark days are behind me...brighter days are ahead! Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Good that you are on your way. Seems odd that one has to say this after so many false recoveries but at least this time there is no woman involved. What kind of relationship philosophies have you been exposed to? Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Everybodys story is different. You know you have chosen your right path. My story is that I went back to dating 3 weeks after d-day. In my view the marriage was over once I caught her with the OM, and I did not need to wallow in the pit for the next year, awaiting a D. A pretty new face, called down to me, and the dark days were over, I had a life again, I had a future again, yes while the pain of separation was still with me, it was greatly dullled. I actually recommend doing this for some BH who want their wives back, as in some cases, WW gets a taste of her own medicine, when she finds out that her H is equally attractive to the opposite sex. It had a similar affect on my XW, she was royally POed that I was having an affair. And wanted to reconcile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DNU1 Posted January 16, 2010 Author Share Posted January 16, 2010 42nately, DNUI isn't inclined 2 use someone else in this manner, or compromise his values or the lessons he can teach his children 2 "get back" at his STBXW. -ol' 2long You are correct 2long...not my style. I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and am PROUD of the man I see looking back at me. And frankly, I want nothing to do with women at this point in my life. There simply is no desire at all. My focus is on taking care of myself and taking care of my DDs. Yes, my peeps tell me there were/are women interested in me -- some I find smoking hot, others I think might be interesting to get to know...but bottom line is I tell my friends/family i'm am no where near ready for that kind of stuff. Period. And I can't even imagine using another woman as revenge vs. the STBx. No way in hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I'm curious to know how your alimony is worked out. I would be interested how she would accommodate this with her bad spending habits. I'd like to know what friggin bench monkey or state hands out alimony in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 You are correct 2long...not my style. I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and am PROUD of the man I see looking back at me. And frankly, I want nothing to do with women at this point in my life. There simply is no desire at all. My focus is on taking care of myself and taking care of my DDs. Yes, my peeps tell me there were/are women interested in me -- some I find smoking hot, others I think might be interesting to get to know...but bottom line is I tell my friends/family i'm am no where near ready for that kind of stuff. Period. And I can't even imagine using another woman as revenge vs. the STBx. No way in hell. How about an update? Link to post Share on other sites
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