Is he my friend or more?

[DreamDancer1801]

[font=arial][/font][color=indigo][/color]Okay I have a problem. My best guy friend has fallen for me (he told me a few weeks ago), but I can't tell if I like him back "that way" or just as a friend. I am totally in LOVE with his personality, but I don't think I'm that phsyically attracted to him. Sometimes it makes me tremble when he puts his arm around me, and I lost my breath once when I saw him all sweaty once, but other than that I don't find him very hot or whatever. How do I tell if I like him as more than just a friend or not?

thanx,

kk

[Curt]

OK,

 

I have a question for you. What do you make of this statement?

 

...[color=red]it makes me tremble[/color] when he puts his arm around me, and I [color=blue]lost my breath[/color] once when I saw him all sweaty once

 

Curt

[ArdeaCandidissima]

Would you consider talking to him about your feelings, or kissing him?

 

Both are possible ways to explore more, but both have risks attached.

 

How old are you? How experienced are you with men? Would it make you tremble if anyone touched you, or just him? Was the trembling pleasurable, or scary, or miserable?

[DreamDancer1801]

[font=arial][/font][color=indigo][/color]Well I'm only 15 (he's 17) and I really haven't had any experience with guys past hugging and holding eachother. I don't really consider him to be very hot and I don't think I'm very physically attracted to him. He's a little on the overweight side and is not very muscular. I'm not a shallow person and appearance hardly matters to me at all. I'm just afraid that if he tries to kiss me I'll find it gross or something, I don't know. But I think the tremble was from pleasure, and no, I don't usually do that with other guys. I have talked to him about how I feel, and he says he doesn't understand how I can NOT know how I feel about him, but it's true, i really don't know. How can I find out if I really like him as more than a best friend?

~kk

[monkey00]

sounds to me like you're intellectually attracted to him but not physically, this happens often with anyone..

there was a time where i felt this for a friend, (lust maybe?) non stop thinking about her for 4 days straight, after that i was back to normal. I've never been nervous or had sweaty palms when im around her

 

well llets see in your situation, do you think about him often daily?? Do you long to see him again when you havent seen him for a few days? Do you find yourself flirting with him?

If you answer yes to all, then signs probably point to yes

[yes]

i think you should try giving him a kiss and/or holding him & how that goes. you can't really know any other way!

even if you don't enjoy it, it'll be just plain, - not likely to be gross or anything...

 

-yes

[ThisGirlNameKD]

If you have to ask, more than likely you don't feel the same way about him as he does you. When you really like someone, I mean really like someone, it's undeniable. You know it, and you can feel it in that special way. There's nothing wrong with you loving his personality. And you can have strong feelings for his personality and they don't even have to be romantic or sexual.

 

Sometimes when we have strong feelings for people, we tend to sexualize them (making them into a sexual or romantic attraction thing) because we've never really been taught that it's okay to have strong intense feelings for people in a platonic way without it having to be romantic. So if thinking about him in a romantic way makes you feel queasy, or uneasy, it may not be a good move to explore it on that level.