vixen Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Ok, ups and downs right, that's what life is made of. any-who to the point. I had not seen Jon in near to a month, when finally on Friday, his birthday we saw each other. I was megga happy. Unfortunately he had to do the lawn so it took him a while before he showed up. Thing is he hasn't done the lawn in weeks because he's been so busy, and ever day he got of it was rainy. Sooo, he did it on his birthday. So, we get together, go out to eat, stop at his parents for a moment rent a scary movie to watch. I get into a large incident with my room mate that drags Jon in unfortunately. Jon goes chasing after me (went the wrong way) but we run into each other as i headed back to the house. I was like, i'm sick of being made fun of i don't deserve it. Jon's like i never made fun of you (he laughed) but he didn't make fun of me, and he couldn't help me because he had no better clue then i how to hook up the DVD player. so i go upstairs yell at my roomy, he was obviously hurt. He didn't do anything so bad, but it's just the straw that broke the camels back. He's been rather mean and recluse to me all week. I had said some hurtful stuff to him and Jon. "i hate you" in my anger. Jon didn't do anything wrong, he was understanding of my pain, hugged and comforted me, and we sat down and watched the movie finally. Snug on the couch. After the flick we went to my room for some down time, we wrestled and snuggled and talked. Then he had to go. It was a great day and awesome day. Why do i feel so friggin crappy? I have heart ache, again. i made up with Ross, (my roomie) i talked to my mom about it. Jon didn't call last night, he was working late in the restaurant and he almost never calls on Saturday nights anyway, so i half expected it. He e-mailed me why, it was a one sentence e-mail, hey, I had to work late today helping in the restaurant so I didn't call. bye, J Yes it's not very loving, he hasn't written i love you in an e-mail since early sept. How do i know that, i just pile emails from him in a folder with his name in it. Don't know why, and i don't do it to all of em, the little useless ones usually don't get put in, but since he hasn't sent me an email with meet in it for so long i now pile in these little one liners and i know he simply types this up at like 2 am and goes to bed, or leaves work and goes home then goes to bed. So it's not lack of want or trying, he'd say so himself. Why am i so melancholy, i'm getting my car window fixed today, my gram gave me 20 bucks so i'm going to go buy some jeans. Doesn't sound like an icky day to me. Hell Jon forgot all his gifts at my house so i'm going to swing by his place and give em to him so maybe i'll see him. so why oh why do i feel melancholy. Vixen Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Vixen - have you checked the hormones? How close are you to your period? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vixen Posted November 2, 2003 Author Share Posted November 2, 2003 3 weeks away, but yesterday i did forget to take my pills. it made me mad sluggish and i also think i'm sensitive to the sun spots we recently got. plus i'm overly sensative on pagan sabbats. Samhain being a big one. (new years) and stangly enough i'm born on one, as well as jon being born on one. , i feel a bit better, i just called and talked to him, said i wanted to bring him his preasants, he said he was off to work in a moment, (i figured as much) he said don't worry i'll get them some other time. He seemed happy to talk to me, he always does. He said i'll call tonight, he said i didn't want to wake you if you were keeping to your sleeping habbits. He's always so considorate. puts me befor his own neads. I don't feel so down now. But i was hopeing to talk to you. You always give me the insite i'm missing when it comes to him. Coarse i was not mad at him friday, he accidently kicked me when i was upset at ross and on my bed, (he was trying to roll me over with his foot, he plopped down to be with me) i yelled at him and stormed out of the house. Man, i feel like i'm dong all the stupid stuff i should have done when i was a teen but didnt' do. why why now, im 25, for crying out load. XD anywho, jon is mad understanding, he knows he was just in the line of fire for something that had nothing to do with him. And when we parted on fryday, many kisses involved his i love you was loud and strong. meaningful. ya know. out side of the dvd incodent we had a great time. but no, i don't know if it's hormonial might be, the pills i take are to regulate my hormones. -_- i didn't miss them that day, but hey, i'm only human. Vixen Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 But i was hopeing to talk to you. By all means PM me as you like! You do sound very reactive, Vixen. Something's definitely up. Have you discussed this stuff with a counsellor? If you find yourself reacting very strongly to minor incidents, that tells you something is wrong, either physically or emotionally. You don't want to live like that; it's too hard on you and the people around you. If you're taking pills to regulate your hormones, the dose might need tweaking. Wretched hormones can really affect moods BIGTIME. You want to get a handle on them. Link to post Share on other sites
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