copenhagen Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Hi everyone, I'm new to this community and site and am seeking some objective advice from others. I go to college in Connecticut and just finished my sophomore year. At the beginning of this year, I began dating a guy, Scott, and we are now very serious about each other and have been together for 9 months. Everything is absolutely perfect -- we love each other, we get along incredibly well, we are open and honest, and we truly have the greatest connection that I've ever experienced. I'm very serious about this relationship and can really see it escalating to something much more serious in the future. My problem is, next semester I am going abroad to Copenhagen, Demark for one semester and Scott is going abroad in the Spring semester to Spain, consequently forcing us to be apart for a year. On top of this, our college offers us a magnificent internship program for the summer after our Junior year's (next summer) allowing $3000 for every student enrolled in the program. This truly opens up the opportunty for applying to different types of internships in different places. I am planning on NYC whereas Scott is looking at Paris. This would mean an extra four months apart from each other on top of the year. I truly am at a loss for what to do. Part of me thinks that I should take this time to be single and date around, but I really love Scott and honestly can't imagine myself with anyone else. I recently bought a book, "Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide" by Gregory Guldner as we are already seven hours away by car for this summer (he lives in CT and I live in DC). The book has been very helpful and insightful and given me hope and I recommend it to anyone who is having difficult with their LDR. The only problem is, I still can't help having doubts about staying together. What is everyone's honest advice? We're young and unmarried, so that's different from a lot of LDRs, but I don't want to risk breaking up and ruining the relationship forever. On the other hand, Europe is a very tempting place to be single... Thanks a lot in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 You could put me in the most exciting place on earth, with the physically sexiest men alive. The last thing I would be thinking is about anyone but my bf. Sorry but no one can hold a candle to him, I don't care where I am and what awaits. I couldn't even fathom wondering "him..or another man..him..or another man." I mean, no one could compare, they just couldn't. I'm not saying you're a bad person or bad girlfriend because you're thinking the thought. I'm just saying, I don't care where you put me I couldn't think of anyone else but my baby. No one tops him. If you don't feel this same way about your man, maybe your not ready to comitt to him like that, I don't know. I think you need to think over what it means that you're even thinking of the possibility of another man. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Hi everyone, I'm new to this community and site and am seeking some objective advice from others. I go to college in Connecticut and just finished my sophomore year. At the beginning of this year, I began dating a guy, Scott, and we are now very serious about each other and have been together for 9 months. Everything is absolutely perfect -- we love each other, we get along incredibly well, we are open and honest, and we truly have the greatest connection that I've ever experienced. I'm very serious about this relationship and can really see it escalating to something much more serious in the future. My problem is, next semester I am going abroad to Copenhagen, Demark for one semester and Scott is going abroad in the Spring semester to Spain, consequently forcing us to be apart for a year. On top of this, our college offers us a magnificent internship program for the summer after our Junior year's (next summer) allowing $3000 for every student enrolled in the program. This truly opens up the opportunty for applying to different types of internships in different places. I am planning on NYC whereas Scott is looking at Paris. This would mean an extra four months apart from each other on top of the year. I truly am at a loss for what to do. Part of me thinks that I should take this time to be single and date around, but I really love Scott and honestly can't imagine myself with anyone else. I recently bought a book, "Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide" by Gregory Guldner as we are already seven hours away by car for this summer (he lives in CT and I live in DC). The book has been very helpful and insightful and given me hope and I recommend it to anyone who is having difficult with their LDR. The only problem is, I still can't help having doubts about staying together. What is everyone's honest advice? We're young and unmarried, so that's different from a lot of LDRs, but I don't want to risk breaking up and ruining the relationship forever. On the other hand, Europe is a very tempting place to be single... Thanks a lot in advance! If you are a sophmore, Im guessing you are what, 20? Now is the time in your life to enjoy as much as you can and to pursue any oppoturnity (school abroad, travel etc) that comes your way. It sounds like you have a nice thing going, but not a lot of college relationships go the distance as people continue to change, develop and pursue different paths. I guess you need to ask yourself if the two of you were to be apart for a year or longer, do you think that it would be hard for you to maintain a functioning relationship? Would you feel you are missing out on experencing life while you are doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
Bayern Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 In my opinion if your relationship is good enough then it will stand the test of time. Not only that, but if you have the money to study abroad, I think you'll be able to spend at least a little time together (making those moments even better). I think take your education as number one. Studying abroad will be the experience of your life - you'll learn a lot. The internship will help too. Follow what you would normally do. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
subdued Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I am planning on NYC whereas Scott is looking at Paris. This would mean an extra four months apart from each other on top of the year. It sounds like you are more committed to your desire to travel than to each other so much so that you are planning to go to different places. I truly am at a loss for what to do. Part of me thinks that I should take this time to be single and date around I really don't see how this long-term relationship is going to work when it sounds like you still want the opportunity to look around before settling down. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine2031 Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 My advice would be to give the LDR a shot. You'll find out pretty quickly if the distance is tearing you abart or bringing you together. I wouldn't sacrifice your educational oppotunities for it though. If you two are right for eachother you'll stay together despite the distance. I know some couples that did the LDR thing for all 4 yrs of college and they are still happily married 20yrs later. Link to post Share on other sites
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