LoveNeverFails Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I was thinking of the many wedding traditions that we still have in the 21st century and one makes no sense. Shouldn't the mother and father walk the daughter down the isle? It hasn't been until recently that our society has progressed with equal rights for women and society was more patriarchal then. But, I believe both the mom and dad should walk her down the isle. What do you all think? Link to post Share on other sites
lizzy_09 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I've attended weddings that have both the mother and father at each side of the bride walk down the aisle. As long as your man is comfortable with it, why not. It's nice to see parents show their support on their daughters wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
subdued Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Do whatever you feel must comfortable doing. My daughter's husband's dad walked her husband down the aisle, and I walked my daughter down the aisle. It worked out well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveNeverFails Posted June 26, 2009 Author Share Posted June 26, 2009 also, did any woman decide to keep both her maiden name and her husband's name? Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 LNF, I wouldn't think it would be objectionable, for both parents to walk the bride down the Aisle. In most weddings that I have attended, the mother of the bride sits in the "seat of honor", the first seat to the left facing the Altar. The mother of the Groom is in the corresponding seat to the right. The "seats of honor", are courtesys so the Ladies , in question, so they don't have to stand. But you can feel free to change it as you and your groom see fit. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 It's not because the mom doesn't count. It's because men typically escort women. That's also why the groomsmen escort the bridesmaids down the aisle. Is the bride's mother also going to wear a tux? Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 The tradition was so that the father "gives" his daughter away. I think alot of women have their mom's join them to lessen the traditional meaning and make it more of a family celebration, or "support" as another poster mentioned. The priest at my wedding was against tradition, and wanted the bride and groom to walk down the aisle together as they enter into a new life "together". I was totally against that because I wanted a traditional wedding. My dad saw the look on my face and said "Do you what YOU want to do" and so I had my dad give me away Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 LoveNeverFails, forget tradition. Do what makes the two of you happy, within reason. Streaking is not an option. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 Both my parents walked me down the aisle - it was something I wanted. I also kept my last name. Link to post Share on other sites
layla.ann Posted June 27, 2009 Share Posted June 27, 2009 I want my Mom there with me when I walk down the isle. My dad is still around and good dad, but my mom raised me and there is no way I would do something as big as get married without her by my side. Link to post Share on other sites
subdued Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 also, did any woman decide to keep both her maiden name and her husband's name? Both my mom and my older sister kept their last name. I wanted my older daughter to keep her last name because that was her paternal grandfather's wish before he died. However, her husband wanted her to change it; so she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 also, did any woman decide to keep both her maiden name and her husband's name? I considered that but wasn't too keen on the whole hyphenated thing and without the hyphens, figured my family name would end up getting dropped by most everyone. And thinking about the freakin' name-change paperwork gave me a headache! So I just kept my own family name. My dad's dead. Mom and brother walked me down the aisle. Next time (if there is one), I think I'll walk by myself. But I don't know that, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveNeverFails Posted June 29, 2009 Author Share Posted June 29, 2009 I would like to keep my last name but it looks more united if both names are the same, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I changed my last name the first time around, since it was important to him and our names didn't hyphenate well. Much regrets over that since I changed it back, STAT, after the divorce! This time, I'm not changing my name. While he would prefer it, it's not as big a deal for him, since he understands my reluctance to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I would like to keep my last name but it looks more united if both names are the same, you know? I never felt any "less united" just cos we used different last names. My friends who kept their family name and had kids went by Mrs. HisLastName at school and such. But legally and professionally were still Ms. MyFamilyName. Now, I never got used to the "Ms" part...depending on what it was, I sometimes used Miss. Still never felt any less united. I remember thinking (20 years ago) that I'd just gotten to know and like Ronni MyFamilyName, and I didn't want to have to deal with any potential identity crisis on top of losing 'single' status. For me, that was more than enough to have to get used to without also having to figure out, "Who the heck is Ronni HisLastName?" The only thing I didn't think/worry about is how it would look...look where and/or to whom? Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 We're having an extremely tiny picnic wedding in the Botanical Gardens, no real aisle to speak of. My dad will walk me into the gazebo, but that's just because my mom will be right behind us carrying my baby . I'm keeping my last name, but considering actually making his last name my middle name, which I know is a pretty different way to go but it might work for us. I was looking for an excuse to bump my official first name (which I have never used) anyway, and it'll make my name more like my son's while still allowing me to keep my own name intact. (Our son has a hyphenated last name, HisLastName-MyLastName). Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 I would like to keep my last name but it looks more united if both names are the same, you know? Why can't you just use his name "socially?" That's what my SIL does. Everybody knows her only by her married name. But if you look at her DL and SSN card, they have her maiden name on them. As she put it, she just never got around to changing it. If I were ever drugged enough to get married again, I would keep my name. I'm not going through this hassle again of a freaking name change. If HE wants us to have the same last name legally, he can take on mine. Otherwise he'll just have to settle for me using his name socially. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Since my FIL did not attend our wedding (for many reasons to do with my W's past), she had a choice....have her BIL walk her down, her mother, or no one. Neither of them felt comfortable under the circumstances. She walked by herself down the aisle. And she smiled the whole way because (as she said), at the end of the aisle waited her new family and a new life. As many have heard over and over, that was about twenty years ago. (Sjhe probably also smiled because her husband to be was about to pass out due to his nerves. ) Usually, the father walks down the aisle out of tradition. This originated from the idea that the dad represents the family in giving away the daughter. IMO if there are reasons that the father is not a good representation, then someone else can be the one. However, unless the father gives his wholehearted approval (or he is not someone who should be giving his daughter away due to past abuse), then the father should be the one. BUT...remember, this is YOUR day. And this will be your new life. However, what seems to be an important sticking point of the ceremony will most likely be looked back upon as something that really was no big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 My H's cousin married into a Jewish family. Their tradition was that both parents walked the Bride down the aisle. I say do it the way you want to do it. But, yeah, streaking isn't an option. (LOL, TBF) Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I say do it the way you want to do it. But, yeah, streaking isn't an option. (LOL, TBF) Could be interesting, though! It'd be the first time anyone ever had their first dance to Cat Stevens! Link to post Share on other sites
princess4ever Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 i'm going to keep my last name when i get married. has anyone ever given kids their last name and not the husband's? i'm just curious about that bc that is something i would like to do. my bf (soon to be fiance) doesn't care for his last name so he doesn't mind me keeping mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 My cousin and his wife used her last name for their son. A friend of mine did the same, although she wasn't married to the father of her daughter. My partner and I hyphenated our last names for our son, but my name comes last, which is slightly unusual. It really, really sounds better that way, though. Plus, he has several siblings and a dozen nieces and nephews with his last name, while I am the last of my line (edit: well, I WAS. Guess I'm not anymore). Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 Just curious... If both the man and woman keep their last name, how does one know that they're husband and wife in social events? Since 'May I introduce Mr. XXX and Mrs. YYY' doesn't exactly sound like they're married. Or does the woman have two names: A 'Ms YYY' and also a 'Mrs XXX'? In that case wouldn't it be considered as she having 'taken on' her husband's surname anyway since her 'Ms YYY' would never change in her ID anyway, and 'Mrs. XXX' is what most people would call her? Also, when you hyphenate, what'll become of the children when they marry and want to hyphenate? 'Mr and Mrs XXX-YYY-ZZZ-AAA' ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 I remember watching Father of the Bride part 2 when they were trying to decide what the baby's last name would be. They tried hyphenating, pushing the names together, and making an entire new last name. It was really funny, but I'd feel so bad for a kid that had those last names. I'm taking my fiances last name. I love his last name, I just think it goes so well with my first. Besides, there are enough boys in my family to carry on my last name anyway and it's not like I could really pass it on unless I had the baby take my last name instead of his. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 If both the man and woman keep their last name, how does one know that they're husband and wife in social events? If it's important that others know they're legally married, "May I introduce John Smith and his wife, Jane Doe." Or vice versa, "...and her husband, etc." The hyphenations can cause dilemmas for future generations, as you demonstrated -- we can only trust that they'll figure it out for themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
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