Questionable wedding tradition

[Stung]

Just curious...

 

If both the man and woman keep their last name, how does one know that they're husband and wife in social events? Since 'May I introduce Mr. XXX and Mrs. YYY' doesn't exactly sound like they're married. Or does the woman have two names: A 'Ms YYY' and also a 'Mrs XXX'? In that case wouldn't it be considered as she having 'taken on' her husband's surname anyway since her 'Ms YYY' would never change in her ID anyway, and 'Mrs. XXX' is what most people would call her?

 

Also, when you hyphenate, what'll become of the children when they marry and want to hyphenate? 'Mr and Mrs XXX-YYY-ZZZ-AAA' ???

 

I can speak only for myself, of course...and I doubt that social situation will come up very often for me, as most people where I live are introduced by their first names, even in many business settings, unless the event is extremely formal. Anywhere that my last name would come up I would be far more likely to be referred to by my full name or my title and my last name, and not as 'Mrs.' anything. I might be introduced by my full name with the additional qualifier that I am his wife, or he might additionally be qualified as my husband, depending on who is speaking to whom. But if someone were to introduce me as Mrs. HisLastName, OR Mrs. MyLastName, I would just shrug. I might even be a little tickled in a kind of old-fashioned way to be referred to occasionally as Mrs. HisLastName. Anyway, anyone who knows us will know we are married. Anyone who doesn't know us but talks to us for ten minutes will likely figure it out. Anyone who really cares about our names and isn't sure, can ask.

 

I guess some would consider me similarly laissez-faire about my son's last name, which is hyphenated. It was important to both of us that as the product of both of us, he carry both of our names, but what he does with that in the future is up to him. He will be an adult and he can make whatever adult decision he likes. Perhaps he will keep them both, perhaps he will drop one in favor of the other, perhaps he will keep one as a second middle name, perhaps he will change his name entirely to his wife's, perhaps she will change to his, perhaps their children will have only one of our names, or neither, or both, or four last names alltogether...which I personally think would be a little much, but is not unheard of in some cultures. I am trusting that by the time he's old enough to get married, he will be wise enough to choose whatever works best for him and the new family he is making. If he drops one name, a little part of me might secretly hope it's not mine, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if it was and I'd never make him feel guilty about it.