BlackLovely Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Hey all. Need advice about switching family allegiances upon marriage. My fiance and I have been adamant about having a very small wedding that we pay for ourselves. My parents and extended family are very hurt about the amount of people that will not be included. My fiance has put his foot down by reminding me that we are a family now and that our wishes are the most important. He says we need to begin to assert ourselves as a couple now, otherwise my parents will think they can control our marriage. While I completely understand what my man's point of view, I have a very close relatiionship with my father. I am the only daughter in a family with four children, so Dad has always been a sucker for me. He's a very sensitive and emotional man; he cries at the drop of a hat. I don't feel comfortable hurting him by having such a small wedding. Yet I am also about to become a Mrs, a part of a brand new family unit. One of the tasks of marriage is to separate from the family of origin...it's just that nobody can ever replace my father, not even my fiance. It's also very interesting how similar their personalities are. Please offer kind yet honest opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 How many amount of people are not invited? Is there a way for you to include them so that your father won't get upset? Is there any way that you can afford another reception - perhaps for your parents' extended family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackLovely Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 Thanks for the quick reply, you have some very good ideas. We are only having 17 guests at our wedding. I'm just a very simple woman who doesn't like a lot of hoopla. We could have a reception, but it would need to be months later so we could save up for it. Link to post Share on other sites
subdued Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Yes. That's a good idea. Have a small wedding and a big reception, that way everyone will be included and you will still have your small wedding. Try not to think of it as switching family allegiances. The reality is that when there are more family members involved, there are more compromises that need to be made by all parties. Link to post Share on other sites
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