lvixen Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 reposting this from the coping section This is causing me way more grief than I would like. I've been with my boyfriend in a LDR for about a year now. We've met up a couple of times, the last time a couple of weeks ago. I never thought I would have a problem with the distance until then (we made love for the first time at that point). The only contact we have is through the telephone. He cut off his internet because of a move and hasn't bothered to reconnect it, saying he is too broke to do so. This is causing me a lot of heartache as I would like to see him on cam and do things with him on the internet like we used to do before he moved. So I figured it's no problem because I have no obligations at home and told him I wanted to move with him next week, which he agreed to. Now last night he tells me I can't move there because he is broke again so he can't afford to have me over. Tells me that maybe he could have me over in a month or two. So I am back at square one. This distance is killing me. I am not functional at this point and I don't know if I will ever be. I love this guy with all of my heart but I am waiting around for his telephone calls. I miss the touch, smell and sight of him with such intensity that it is driving me insane. He tells me to be strong but I can't be. I'm tired of crying all the time but I don't have it in me to break up with someone I love so much. The insecurities are also drivnig me insane and if he doesn't call me one day I start crying and thinking he's lost interest in me. At this point I don't know what to do. Any advice would be good. I don't really have any good friends and I spend most of my time at home waiting for him to call me. Thank you, hope this wasn't too long. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 reposting this from the coping section This is causing me way more grief than I would like. I've been with my boyfriend in a LDR for about a year now. We've met up a couple of times, the last time a couple of weeks ago. I never thought I would have a problem with the distance until then (we made love for the first time at that point). The only contact we have is through the telephone. He cut off his internet because of a move and hasn't bothered to reconnect it, saying he is too broke to do so. This is causing me a lot of heartache as I would like to see him on cam and do things with him on the internet like we used to do before he moved. So I figured it's no problem because I have no obligations at home and told him I wanted to move with him next week, which he agreed to. Now last night he tells me I can't move there because he is broke again so he can't afford to have me over. Tells me that maybe he could have me over in a month or two. So I am back at square one. This distance is killing me. I am not functional at this point and I don't know if I will ever be. I love this guy with all of my heart but I am waiting around for his telephone calls. I miss the touch, smell and sight of him with such intensity that it is driving me insane. He tells me to be strong but I can't be. I'm tired of crying all the time but I don't have it in me to break up with someone I love so much. The insecurities are also drivnig me insane and if he doesn't call me one day I start crying and thinking he's lost interest in me. At this point I don't know what to do. Any advice would be good. I don't really have any good friends and I spend most of my time at home waiting for him to call me. Thank you, hope this wasn't too long. First of all, I would advise getting some hobbies, joining a club/gym etc. It's absolutely not healthy to have the relationship be your entire focus. It should part of your life, but NOT your life. Sounds like you are putting in more effort than he is at this point, and he's not showing a lot of concern. I think you need to go and visit him and chat about things to get on the same page. After, even if he is broke, how much money does he need for you to visit for a weekend and see him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lvixen Posted June 25, 2009 Author Share Posted June 25, 2009 he lives 2000 miles away and it would cost $500 or more for a round trip, not easy money. I'm personally too broke to afford that too often as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggs Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 How old are you both? Are you both holding jobs? If you don't have one or aren't working many hrs, may I suggest a 2nd job. For one, you can save more money and second, it will keep you busy. There's nothing like being busy to keep your mind off your troubles. Spend time with friends, go for a walk everyday, go into your library/gym, etc. Sitting around and moping will not work. And when you do speak, at least you'd having something to talk about. Most men would rather hear about what you're doing through the day then listening to you cry and sob on the phone for a full hour. I know it's tough, but you have to get out there and do things. Link to post Share on other sites
Maxis Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Im a little curious why he doesn't reconnect his internet personally, as it must cost a fortune to call long distance all the time, rather than a steady fee for internet. But in response to your original post, I like the suggestion that was given right before this (sorry i forget your user name). Find things to occupy yourself. Put yourself out there and maybe get a job or another job if you already have one to take your mind off things. It's possible to make those close friends at work as well. Obsessing is definitely not a good idea though. I wish you the best of luck, you'll pull through. Link to post Share on other sites
kunless Posted June 30, 2009 Share Posted June 30, 2009 do you had his email address Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts